Let’s Talk About… Evolution

What is personal evolution? How do we grow and evolve over time? And why does it help to be deliberate about your personal development?

That’s what I’m talking about this week here on… Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast that teaches you how to look after your wellbeing. So, get comfortable, and Let’s Talk About Mental Health…

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This podcast episode was originally released on 9 July, 2023.

Hello and welcome to Episode 187, and thanks so much for joining me as I talk about evolution and mental health!

I’m Jeremy Godwin and I share practical tips you can apply immediately, based on quality research and my own personal experience following a breakdown in late 2011 that changed my life. Each week I look at how to improve one specific aspect of your wellbeing. 

In this episode I’ll be talking about what evolution is (and what it isn’t), why it matters, and how to be more intentional with your personal development. 

So, let’s talk about evolution!

Introduction

It was the late Whitney Houston who rather emphatically declared, “I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way…” and I’m starting with that today because (a) it’s been a while since I kicked off proceedings with a random 80s song quote (so you’re welcome!) and (b) Whitney had an excellent point, in the sense that each generation hopefully learns from the one before, and the one before that, and so on, and that’s how we move forward as a society; after all, it was only about 120 years ago when it was practically unheard-of to flash your ankles at the beach. 

Over time, things change; places change, society changes, whether we like it or not (and even if some people try to stop it… and I’ll have a bit of a rant about that later on!), but more importantly we as individuals have the potential to change. Now, you’ll notice I said ‘potential’ there and I say that because although change is inevitable, whether or not we actually grow and evolve as human beings is up to us; it’s a conscious choice we make, and it requires us to do the work… even when it’s tough. In the words of the writer Karen Kaiser Clark, who just so happens to have one of my favourite quotes of all-time, “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

So in this episode I’m going to be strongly encouraging you to take the reins on your personal development and to learn how to embrace change and evolution as much as possible. Why? Well, that’s a question I’ll answer shortly! First, however, let’s get ourselves onto the same page with some definitions; so, now, let’s talk about… 

What is evolution?

So, broadly speaking, ‘evolution’ is a term we give to the natural process by which different kinds of living organisms have developed from earlier lifeforms, evidence of which is found through fossil records and DNA analysis. But it’s also a broad term that means “the gradual development of something” (and both those definitions come from the Oxford Dictionary).  

So when we talk about it in terms of mental health and personal growth, ‘evolution’ isn’t about developing the ability to breathe underwater or suddenly growing a third arm (although, seriously, how handy would that be — pun intended!?!); instead, it’s all about our mental and emotional progression, and how much we change and grow as individuals.

You see, as we travel on our journey through life, we each have countless experiences — some good, some not so good — and each one shapes us. It nudges us along the path, sometimes giving us a gentle prod and other times a massive shove. It’s this constant adaptation, this process of learning and changing in response to what life throws at us, that we call personal evolution.

Think of it as your own internal navigation system, recalibrating itself as you make your way through life. It’s an ongoing process, and sometimes it’s a bit messy. But that’s all part of the journey. It’s like that old saying, you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, and personal evolution is just like that; just, maybe, a lot less sticky.

But it’s not just about reacting to life, it’s also about taking the reins and making intentional changes to improve ourselves. Personal evolution is often sparked by self-reflection. We take a good, long, hard look at ourselves in the metaphorical mirror, decide what we like and what we want to change, and then we set out to make those changes. Or, sometimes, we have a crisis of some sort — like a breakup or losing our job — which forces us to confront some aspect of ourselves that we need to work on.

But here’s the thing: regardless of what triggers it, personal evolution doesn’t just happen in a straight line. It’s not like you decide one day, “I’m going to be more patient,” and boom, you’re suddenly as patient as a saint; trust me, I’ve tried and failed at that one a million times. It’s a process with ups, downs, twists, and turns. Some days you’ll feel like you’re nailing it, others you might feel like you’re back at square one. But that’s because it’s an ongoing process and it actually requires us to make the conscious choice to work on whatever it is that we’re working on every single day. So, yes, it’s exhausting sometimes (a lot of the time actually!) and yes you will make mistakes along the way… but remember that every step, every stumble, is all part of the process. It’s all part of your evolution.

And the other thing I need to point out is that personal evolution doesn’t just happen by sheer virtue of you growing older; I’m sure you could name some very immature and not-terribly-evolved older people (I know I can) and that just goes to prove my point; the fact is that a lot of people get stuck in their ways and refuse to change or grow, which usually results in them becoming nasty and bitter over time because change is the one constant in this world that just cannot be avoided, no matter how hard you might try!

In terms of your mental health, personal evolution is absolutely essential. Why? Because nothing changes if nothing changes, and so if you want things to be better and feel better then you need to do the work and nobody can or will do it for you. It’s about learning to manage your thoughts and feelings more effectively, developing healthier coping strategies, and becoming more resilient. But it’s also about learning to be kinder to yourself, to cut yourself some slack when things don’t go to plan, and to regularly step back to recognise just how far you’ve already come.

Personal evolution is a journey, not a destination; it’s like the Neverending Story but just without Falkor, that big furry dragon-dog-thing. And, like any journey, it can be challenging… but it’s also incredibly rewarding.

And with that in mind, now let’s talk about… 

Why it matters

And it matters because there are three choices in life: are you evolving, are you stagnating, or are you regressing? In other words, move forward, stay stuck or go backwards; those are really the only three choices available in most things, and I can tell you without hesitation that only one of those options is going to lead to better mental health and a strong sense of self-confidence and self-love (and it’s moving forward, in case you needed me to make that extra-clear!). 

When we talk about good mental health, we’re not just talking about the absence of mental health problems like anxiety or depression. Mental health is much more than that. It’s about your overall emotional and psychological wellbeing. It’s about how you think, how you feel, and how you behave. It’s also about how you handle stress, how you relate to others, and how you make choices.

Now, your mental health doesn’t just stay static over time. Just like your physical health, it can improve or worsen depending on various factors… and that is where the idea of ‘personal evolution’ comes in. Through the process of consciously focusing on your personal development, you learn and grow. You develop new ways of thinking, new ways of handling your emotions, and new ways of responding to the challenges that life throws at you.

Personal evolution is the process through which we become better versions of ourselves. 

Now, let me just say that ‘better’ doesn’t mean perfect, because nobody’s perfect, and that’s not what I’m talking about. What I mean is that it’s about making progress, it’s about learning from our mistakes and our successes, and it’s about continuously striving to learn and grow. All of that not only benefits you, but it also benefits society as a whole — mainly because people who feel happy and content in themselves, and who focus on continuously working towards being the best version of themselves possible, don’t tend to be the same types of people who take out their anger at the world on everybody else.

Unfortunately we seem to be going through a bit of regression in society at the moment, rather than evolution, as a small-but-vocal group of people with extreme views try to strip away the rights of everyone that isn’t white and straight, in many countries around the world and even here in Australia, and frankly I’m sick of it and frustrated about the amount of attention these bullies are being given, which only feeds their egos and makes them bolder. I lived through the 80s and 90s when you were routinely abused or even bashed just for walking down the street if you looked a bit different or if you didn’t conform to what these types of idiots thought was ‘normal’, and I’ll be damned if I’m living through that crap again without speaking out about it. 

I read an article in Australia’s ABC News recently where an expert described this sort of behaviour as, and I quote, “a backlash against change and social progression, and […] the people behind it were often ‘disenchanted and disconnected’ and vulnerable to disinformation” and frankly it made me mad — mad enough to start bashing away at my keyboard to write this bit of the episode — because it feels like, “Oh, that’s a shame, this poor person who used to have society built around them, catering to their every whim, feels uncomfortable because other people want to feel like equals and aren’t prepared to sit back and be made to feel like we’re less-than… oh my, how that poor person has suffered, no wonder they picked up a flag with a swastika on it.” Idiots. Absolute idiots. What a load of old rubbish. What, you’re pissed off because you used to have all the power in the world and now there are different groups of people — who you don’t like — who refuse to hide away in the shadows? What a fragile little flower you are! 

If I sound angry then you’re damn right I am; I’m furious, and you should be too. Because it feels like a small-but-loud group of people are actively going out of their way to try and drag us all back into the dark ages, which is the opposite of evolution, and we all need to be stepping up and doing a lot more than just posting about how we don’t like them on our feed or in our Stories. 

So, clearly I have some issues to work through — and thank you for listening to my rant! — but even though we’re talking mainly about personal evolution here, I want to be very clear and remind you that each of us as individuals is directly affected by and influenced by society, and vice versa, so when you choose to do no harm, be kind and give more than you take, you’re helping to make real, tangible, positive change in our society… even if that just means role-modelling to others how to be a decent human being!

So, how do you do that? How do you work on consciously evolving and growing as a person? 

Well, before I get into that let’s take a quick break to hear from the amazing brands who help me to pay the bills and bring the show to you each week!

AD BREAK

And welcome back and let’s get back to what we’re here for which is how to work on your personal evolution and growth!

Well, now let’s talk about…

How to be more intentional with your personal development

And the wording of that title just so happens to be a big part of my first tip, which is to be intentional — and by that I mean that you shouldn’t just sit back and expect to evolve without any effort on your part, or with just minimal effort. I say that because, as I said earlier, growth does not just happen simply because time is passing; it requires you to make conscious choices about what you need to change and why, and then to find practical and effective ways to make those changes. And then, over and above that, it’s about recognising the need for continuous improvement; since perfection does not exist, and there’s never going to be a kind-of magic end-state that you’ll reach where you’ve learned everything and done all the things, then that means that the job of personal growth and evolution never actually finishes. So, take the time to think about what you want to and need to work on, and then make a plan and do the work. Which leads to my next point…

Set clear goals — which simply means identifying what you want to achieve, and then writing it down. This could be anything from learning how to manage your stress better, to wanting to improve your listening skills, to improving your physical health. Be specific about what it is that you want to change or improve, which gives you a clear direction and makes your journey towards personal evolution a lot more focused. But there’s a broader piece to goal-setting that you need to consider first, and that’s my next point… 

Figure out your ‘why’ — because understanding your core values and what motivates you can provide a greater sense of direction and purpose, all of which are powerful driving forces for your personal evolution. This is part of the ‘big picture’ piece I discussed last week in Episode 186 which is really about figuring out what matters to you so that you can then focus on that; I also covered values back in Episode 138 in its own episode. OK, next… 

Work on your mindset — because if you don’t believe you can do something then you’re not going to be able to do it! Belief is incredibly powerful and it helps us to see possible options and solutions that we just won’t see if we only focus on problems and roadblocks, so actively choose to look for the positive and remind yourself regularly that you can improve, change, and grow through effort and practice. When you have a positive mindset, one that is focused on growth, you see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles to be avoided. I covered mindset back in Episode 31, growth in Episode 37 and self-belief in Episode 125, and you can find all of my past episodes on your preferred podcast service or at my website at ltamh.com (it’s linked in the episode description). OK, next… 

Take your time — because Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither were you; it’s taken every single minute of your life so far for you to reach this point, and unless you happen to have found a bag full of magic wishes then it’s going to take time to work on all the things you want to and need to do in order to grow… and then, along the way, there will inevitably be new things that pop up, or that you become interested in. So, instead of trying to do everything all at once and then wondering why you fail, figure out what priority all the different things are, put them in order, make a plan for each item, based on priority, which breaks things down into the smallest steps possible, and then simply work on one step at a time. If you can, aim to spend at least 10 to 15 minutes a day doing something for your personal growth, no matter how small; it may not sound like a lot, but over the space of weeks, and months, and years, that will definitely add up to some big results. OK, next… 

Develop your emotional intelligence — because understanding and managing your emotions, as well as understanding other peoples’ emotions, can make an enormous positive impact on your relationships, as well as increasing your self-awareness and improving your decision-making. You can develop this skill through courses on the subject as well as self-driven activities like mindfulness, journalling, and empathy exercises, plus I covered empathy in Episode 151 and communication in Episode 134. Another way to do that is with my next point… 

Practice self-reflection — and by that I mean regularly taking the time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, which can help you to identify patterns, understand where you need to make changes, and track your progress over time. I don’t feel like this needs to be an overly complicated thing to do and it’s most effective when you dedicate 5-10 minutes to it every evening, because you can reflect on the day and consider what worked well and what maybe didn’t work so well, or what you can learn from the day. I actually have a two-page simple digital tool for sale that guides you through how to set yourself up for success each day and then how to unwind each evening through some structured self-reflection questions; it costs $12.50 Australian (Dollars), which is about $9 US Dollars, and you’ll find it linked in the episode description and on my website. OK, so my next point is… 

Set boundaries — and if you’ve ever listened to my show then you’ll know I love a good boundary! Whether it’s in your personal life or your professional life, setting clear and fair boundaries can help ensure that you maintain balance and prevent burnout, plus it also helps you to build and maintain healthy relationships. Just be mindful that setting boundaries can mean learning how to say no when it’s necessary or figuring out how to manage your time effectively… and remember that you need to stick to your boundaries, because if they’re not enforced then they just become imaginary lines that don’t actually serve any purpose. I covered boundaries back in Episode 53 and saying no in Episode 105 (and I’ll be talking about time management later in the year). OK, next… 

Work on building your resilience — because it’s your ability to ‘bounce back’ from setbacks and challenges that can help you to stay focused and keep working on your personal growth and evolution, rather than becoming distracted, side-tracked, or pulled in a different direction. There are many different ways to cultivate your ability to withstand difficulties or recover quickly from setbacks, such as actively working on improving your coping mechanisms (which I explored in Episode 179), building a strong support network, or changing how you view failure (so that you see it as a learning opportunity instead of a catastrophe; I talked about how to do that in Episode 84 about failure). I also covered resilience all the way back in Episode 23, which feels like it was about a hundred years ago but it’s still a good one to review to help you build greater resilience. OK, so my next one might seem a bit odd, but bear with me…

Embrace boredom — and the reason why I suggest to focus on this is that in our rush to fill every moment of our lives, we rarely allow ourselves to be bored… but, boredom can help to stimulate creativity and problem-solving, and it also gives your brain a much-needed rest. You can’t run at full-speed all the time, because that’s how you burn out! I can tell you with absolute certainty that almost-every Saturday you will find me on the couch doing nothing but watching random things on YouTube or maybe flicking through a magazine or two (mostly home ones, since we’re slowly renovating our house); that time each week of not having to think or be ‘on’ has become absolutely sacred to me and I will go out of my way to protect it, because I generally find that it sets off a whole wave of creative ideas as a result of just giving my brain some time to rest and recharge. OK, so my next point is… 

Start a personal evolution journal — and I don’t mean just a regular journal; this is about having one completely dedicated to your growth journey. Include your goals, insights, daily reflections, and even inspiring quotes; make it a creative and motivating space for yourself and update it at least once a week to capture details of what you’ve achieved in terms of your personal evolution as well as what you’re focusing on over the coming week. OK, next… 

Find a mentor or coach — because having someone in your corner who knows what they’re talking about and who can help keep you focused on achieving your full potential can be invaluable. They can provide you with guidance, share their wisdom, and offer a different perspective which can help to accelerate your growth.

And you can find more practical tips for achieving your full potential in life in my latest video, available now on YouTube and Spotify.

Summary and Close-Out

Because when it comes to evolution and mental health, what it all boils down to is this: You don’t owe it to anyone in this world to live a specific way, or to do or be a this or a that… but you do owe it to yourself to continuously grow and evolve so that you can be the best version of yourself possible, someone who never settles for second-best and who is constantly striving to do better and be better, even though you know that’s a journey that has no end date or fancy award to tell you that you’re all done. So remember to celebrate your progress, no matter how small, because each step forward, no matter how tiny, is a testament to your strength, your resilience, and your commitment to growth. It’s a sign of the choices you make day in, day out to push yourself and to keep developing… and that, my friend, is what personal evolution is all about.

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by the 18th century writer David Everett, and it is:

“Large streams from little fountains flow, tall oaks from little acorns grow.”

David Everett

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

Next week I’ll be talking about depression. Frankly I’m a little surprised that it’s taken me 188 episodes and more than three and a half years to get around to dedicating an episode to the subject of depression, since it was my own journey through depression and anxiety that led me to start this podcast in the first place, but I think a big reason for that is that I wanted to feel like I had enough distance in the rear-view mirror between myself and those terrible times so that I could talk about it as objectively as possible… and it feels like now is the right time. So, next week I’ll be talking about what depression is (and what it isn’t), why understanding depression matters, and how to manage depression in a proactive way.

I hope you’ll join me for that episode which will be released on Sunday the 16th of July, 2023. 

Follow or subscribe on your preferred podcast platform to stay up-to-date with new episodes, and remember that I also create weekly videos with extra content; you’ll find my videos on YouTube and Spotify.

If you’d like even more tips to help you look after your mental health then sign up for my free newsletter Thursday Thoughts plus follow my two Instagram accounts, @ltamentalhealth and @itsjeremygodwin, where I post extra content daily. 

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You’ll find all of those linked in the episode description and in the transcript at ltamh.com.

Thank you very much for joining me today — look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness in the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Jeremy 🙂

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Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Simple ideas for better mental health.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2023 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or a mental health professional if you are struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.