Let’s Talk About… Social Media

How does social media affect your mental health? What’s the trick to having a healthier relationship with social media, and can being more mindful about how you use digital platforms really improve your mental health?

That’s what I’m talking about this week here on… Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast that helps you improve your mental health, with simple ideas you can put into practice immediately. So, get comfortable, and Let’s Talk About Mental Health…

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This podcast episode was originally released on 4 June, 2023.

Hello and welcome to Episode 182, and thanks so much for joining me as I talk about social media and mental health!

I’m Jeremy Godwin and I share practical tips for improving your mental health based on quality research and my own personal experience of learning how to live with anxiety and depression following a breakdown in late 2011 that completely changed my life. Each week I look at how to improve one specific aspect of your wellbeing. 

In this episode I’ll be talking about what social media is (and what it isn’t), why it affects our mental health, and how to develop a healthier relationship with social media. So, let’s talk about social media!

Introduction

I often bare my soul here on my podcast; it’s become a kind of cathartic and healing process of taking my trauma and pain and then consciously turning it into something much more positive that can help other people to find a way through their own trauma and pain so, you know, it’s like a circle of love!

I draw the line, however, at sharing my most intimate thoughts and feelings on social media, not to mention my opinions on the state of the world and the meal I just ate. Why? Because I once did all of that and it just messed me up.

When Facebook started really taking off in the mid to late 2000’s I practically lived on it; I distinctly remember how excited I was when we could finally use it on our phones, because I travelled a lot for work and it meant I could stay connected while I was away. The problem for me, at least, became that I’ve never been particularly great at not developing addictive behaviours for things (go figure!) and I’m also prone to oversharing sometimes, and so often I’d find myself online after a few drinks sharing every single thought that popped into my head and then cringing my way through the next day. 

I quit drinking in July 2018 and I very quickly found my relationship with social media changing after that; where I had previously found it was fun and a way to stay in touch with people, I suddenly began to realise it wasn’t fun for me anymore and that the so-called ‘staying in touch’ was actually extremely superficial; I mean, let’s be honest here, you’re hardly going to keep a real friendship alive by just hitting ‘like’ on someone’s posts are you? 

This also happened to coincide with the start of the era of influencers, which has never been something I’ve personally felt that comfortable with (and I mean no disrespect to anyone by that, each to their own), so with all of that I found myself wanting to engage less and less on socials… so much so that now I don’t post on my personal Instagram or Facebook accounts at all, and I only post on my two public accounts (ltamentalhealth and itsjeremygodwin) because it’s part of how I connect with all of you while also promoting the work I do and reaching new people. 

My point, assuming I have one in here somewhere, is that we all need to manage our relationship with social media in a thoughtful way, and that relationship will probably evolve over time just as your wants, needs and interests evolve; it’s necessary for each of us to adapt to what’s going on in the world, and also within your own life, because if there’s one thing we can all guarantee it’s that change is inevitable!

So let’s get ourselves on the same page and go through some definitions, and let’s talk about… 

What is social media?

Social media is a broad term we use to refer to websites and applications (or ‘apps’) that allow us to create and share content, or to participate in social networking. They’re interactive platforms (such as Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook and the like) where both individuals and communities can create, discuss, and share user-generated content.

Different social media platforms serve various purposes. For instance, Facebook is often used for connecting with friends and family and sharing personal updates, while LinkedIn is more focused on professional networking. Instagram and Snapchat are image-based platforms, whereas Twitter is primarily text-based and often used for sharing more ‘real-time’ updates. YouTube, on the other hand, is generally a platform for sharing and viewing video content but it also happens to be the world’s second-largest search engine (after Google, who just so happen to own YouTube).

In essence, over the past 20-odd years, social media has completely revolutionised the way we communicate, share information, and even do business. It’s made the world a much more connected place, but it’s also brought with it a lot of challenges like privacy concerns, bullying and toxic behaviour, along with the potential for misuse (like spreading false information). It seems like the more connected we are, the more we find ways to use those connections to either attack one another or scam one another (or both at the same time). 

And that leads me to the reality of what social media is not: it’s not perfect, it’s not entirely safe, and it’s not real life.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that social media is wrong or evil, because it’s about how we choose to use it, and I’m not going to be like some cranky old person saying, I don’t understand it! Ban it! Where’s my pudding? Wow, that took a turn! Anyway, banning things is pointless; if that town Kevin Bacon found himself in in the movie Footloose taught us anything, it’s that trying to ban things will just make teenagers want to do a musical number about kicking off their Sunday shoes. [So stupid!!!]

So what I am going to say upfront is that social media is not reality, and so you need to be very thoughtful and considered about how you use it. Why? Two reasons. One, it’s easy to forget just how artificial it can be and then you can wind up believing all the nonsense that gets posted on there and comparing yourself to people with unrealistic and unattainable lifestyles. And, second, you’re the one in control and it’s simply a tool for your entertainment, inspiration and education; if you let it dominate you, then you can lose your sense of self and find yourself dealing with addictive behaviours and all of the consequences that come with that.

I actually quite enjoy it, especially Instagram, but I’ve learned over the years that it’s necessary to approach it very thoughtfully because, like I just said, it’s not real life. If you don’t set limits for yourself and if you don’t approach it in a mindful way, it can have far-reaching consequences for your mental health and wellbeing.

So, with that in mind, now let’s talk about…

Why it affects our mental health

And there are lots of reasons why, with the main one being that we can become so invested in it that we spend more time interacting with people online than we do in real life… and since I’ve already pointed out that these types of connections aren’t the same as face-to-face real-life connections, it’s no wonder that loneliness is becoming more and more of an issue in society; a recent article by the Australian Psychological Society about loneliness (which is linked in the transcript) stated that “1 in 2 Australians report feeling more lonely since COVID-19” and you’ll see similar figures in many countries around the world. It’s no coincidence that we’re spending more and more time online, rather than forging and maintaining genuine real-world connections with one another. 

I think it’s important to point out that social media isn’t all bad and there are a number of ways it can actually be very beneficial for your mental health. For instance, it can provide a platform for self-expression and creativity, and it can help people to feel connected with others, especially in times of social isolation. It’s also a great source of information and support for many people, particularly those dealing with specific health conditions, personal struggles, or just seeking advice or inspiration.

But, on the flip side, there are some concerning aspects of social media use that we should discuss. I’d say one of the key things is the potential for it to contribute to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. You know how it is, you’re scrolling through your feed and suddenly you’re bombarded with images of beautiful people leading these seemingly perfect lives where money grows on trees and nobody ever has to work or deal with a family argument. It can make you feel like you’re not measuring up, even though deep down you know that what you’re seeing is just a highlight reel and not necessarily a true reflection of people’s everyday lives.

Excessive use of social media can also lead to anxiety and depression, which can happen for a number of reasons. One is that people often compare themselves to others on social media, which can lead to feelings of envy and a sense of inferiority. Secondly, excessive use can result in a disruption of sleep patterns, which we all know is crucial for good mental health.

Another interesting point to bring up is the fear of missing out, or FOMO as it’s commonly known. This refers to the feelings of anxiety that can arise when you see others experiencing things you’re not, whether that’s a party, a holiday, or even just a night out with friends. Feeling a sense of FOMO can lead to feelings of loneliness and exclusion, which can be really tough to deal with.

And then let’s not forget about cyberbullying, which is a significant and growing problem, especially among young people (and it’s a big topic generally-speaking; I’ll be covering bullying in its own episode in a couple of weeks). The impact of cyberbullying can be devastating and it can lead to anxiety, depression, and in some severe cases, even suicidal thoughts.

Finally, it’s worth mentioning the concept of ‘doomscrolling’ — I know I’ve done it lots of times before, and I’m sure many of you have as well. This is when we get caught up in an endless cycle of consuming negative news or information, which can lead to feelings of despair and helplessness. It’s a relatively new phenomenon but it’s one that’s certainly had an impact on our collective mental health especially with all of the collective ups and downs we’ve been dealing with globally over the past few years.

I think the main point here is that we have to bear in mind that everyone’s experience with social media is different, and so what might be a positive experience for one person can be a negative one for someone else. So, it’s really about finding balance and using these platforms in a way that enhances rather than detracts from our mental wellbeing. I believe it’s absolutely crucial to be thoughtful and considered in the way we use social media because, like most things, it can have both positive and negative effects on our lives depending on how we manage it.

Social media can be a powerful tool, but it can also be incredibly time-consuming. If we’re not careful, we can end up spending a lot more time on these platforms than we initially intended which could mean less time for other important activities like exercise, reading, or even just having a face-to-face conversation with your loved ones. 

Another reason to be mindful is the impact it can have on our mental health. As we discussed earlier, excessive use of social media can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and even depression. Being mindful of how much time we spend on these platforms and the kind of content we engage with can help reduce these effects. For instance, if you notice you’re feeling down after scrolling through certain feeds or profiles, it might be worth reconsidering how you engage with those.

Then there’s the issue of privacy and security. It’s important to be aware of what information we’re sharing on social media, who can see it, and how it can be used. For example, oversharing personal information can make us more vulnerable to identity theft or scams.

And we also need to be thoughtful about the information we consume on social media; in this era of ‘fake news’ and misinformation, it’s important to remember that not everything we see on social media is accurate or reliable and that you need to approach everything with a strong degree of critical thinking (for example, by considering the source and fact-checking where you can; it’s the reason why I limit the sources I use for my work to industry bodies and reputable outlets, because there are just so many opinions being passed off as fact online and opinions are not facts!).

So, being mindful of how you use social media can help you to maintain a healthy balance in your life. It’s all about using it as a tool to enhance your life instead of letting it control you.

So how do you do that? Well, let’s get into the how-to part of this episode and let’s talk about…

How to develop a healthier relationship with social media

OK, let’s start with think about what you use social media for — and by that I mean to think about what you’re currently using it for (the good, the bad, and everything in between) as well as what you want to use it for (like entertainment, education, or connection, or whatever). If there’s a difference between the two then you can think about what you need to do to slowly transition yourself more towards the kind of usage you want to have rather than what you currently do. One way to do that is with my next point…

Be selective about who you follow or connect with — because that determines what your feed looks like as well as what you experience on these platforms, so if you’re not feeling great about your body at the moment but you’re primarily following super-skinny people who promote diet shakes all the time then you’re probably going to end up feeling a bit messed up about yourself, aren’t you?! It’s worth going through your list every couple of months and considering honestly whether or not the people and accounts you’re connected with are having a positive impact on your mental wellbeing; if not, then they have to go! You’re in control of who has access to you and what that access looks and feels like, even if we’re just talking about access to your eyeballs and mind! OK, next… 

Practice mindful scrolling — instead of just mindlessly scrolling through your feed, try to be more present and aware of how you’re interacting with the content you see. Notice how certain posts make you feel and consider whether these emotions are positive or negative so you can then decide whether or not to keep following those accounts. OK, next…

Be an active user rather than a passive scroller — engage with content that you find interesting or uplifting; I mean, I can’t speak for everyone who shares content but I love it when I see comments and feedback from my community; I mean, ‘likes’ are great (and I do notice the people who regularly leave likes, so thanks!) but I especially love it when I get to chat with people and hear about what it is they like about my content… it really adds the ‘social’ element back into social media! Leave a comment, start a discussion, or even create your own content; these are all things that can make your experience more rewarding and less of a comparison game. OK, next… 

Set a purpose — if you’d like to be more thoughtful and intentional with how you use social media then, before you log on, have a clear purpose in mind for what you’re going to do or focus on each time. Are you going there to catch up with friends, to read the news, or just to kill time? Having a clear intention can prevent you from getting sucked into a mindless scrolling vortex, and it allows you to be much more targeted in your focus. Alright, next…

Don’t believe everything you see — remember that social media often presents a filtered version of reality; a lot of people tend to share the best parts of their lives and leave out the rest. Try not to compare your own life to other peoples’ ‘highlight reels’ and remember that things may look all glamorous but there’s probably a pile of dishes in the sink and a stack of bills on the coffee table! And remember that at least half of those quotes with pictures of Abraham Lincoln or Einstein next to them were not said by the people they’re attributed to! Next… 

Avoid ‘doomscrolling’ — and by that I mean to consciously resist the urge to endlessly scroll through negative news or distressing content. It’s important to stay informed, but constantly consuming negative information can take a massive toll on your mental health; my advice is to limit your access to this type of information to once or twice a day at most… you can still stay up to date without watching it 24/7! Next…

Consciously use social media for good — and this is maybe a bit of a radical suggestion, or at least something you can incorporate into your current usage; you can choose to use social media platforms to support causes you care about, learn new things, or connect with communities that share your interests, which creates a sense of purpose and intention to your usage rather than the Wild-Wild-West-anything-goes mentality that I think most of us have when it comes to how we use these things! Alright, next…

Focus on quality, not quantity — because it’s not just about how much time you spend on social media, but also how you spend that time. Engaging with content that is meaningful to you or learning about new topics can be a much healthier use of your time than just passively scrolling and again it comes back to what I said earlier about having a purpose in mind. OK, next…

Stop unnecessary notifications — and frankly I’d go so far as to say that all notifications are unnecessary, because you’re perfectly capable of going in and manually looking at an app when you have the time and headspace, but the problem with most notifications is that they’re designed to grab your attention and make you think of nothing else until you’ve satisfied the urge to find out what the message or alert is all about. Platforms do this deliberately and it’s worth remembering that platforms make money from advertising which is directly tied into the amount of time you spend on their app; the longer you stay, the more ads you can be presented with… so of course that means they’re going to pull every trick in the book to try and grab your attention. Instead of letting them control your attention, take back your control by going into your notification settings (both on the app and on your phone) and setting things to the absolute bare minimum that you’re comfortable. I have none turned on on my phone at all, and in fact I hide the apps in a folder on the second page of my phone so I have to go looking for them… it reminds me that I’m in control, not the apps, and I also have dedicated times of the day when I look at socials so that it doesn’t eat into my work or personal time. OK, next… 

Set privacy controls — in order to control who has access to you, you need to make sure you’re comfortable with who can see your posts and personal information online; the easiest way to do this is to review your privacy settings regularly to ensure they’re up to date. My personal accounts are private and that means I have to review anyone who wants to connect with me, which allows me to keep my private life private and that’s a healthy boundary to have! Next…

Don’t take it to bed — many of us are guilty of checking social media last thing at night or first thing in the morning; don’t! Why? Because it can interfere with your sleep and set a negative tone for your day. I have a rule that I don’t let the outside world in for the first and last hour of my day, so even though I charge my phone next to the bed (it’s my clock and sleep sound machine as well) I don’t get distracted because I’ve trained myself to not go onto socials during those times. If self-discipline isn’t high on your list of things you’re good at, try charging your phone outside your bedroom to resist the temptation.

Take a break if you need to — if you’re feeling overwhelmed by social media then take a temporary break, have a bit of a cleanse or do a full detox! You could deactivate your accounts or delete the apps from your phone for a set period of time, which can then help you reset your relationship with these platforms. In terms of dealing with negativity or hate, don’t be afraid to use the block, mute, or report features provided by social media platforms; these tools are there for a good reason, and there’s absolutely no shame in using them to protect your mental health. Remember: you’re in control of what you choose to do!

And you’ll find even more practical tips for how to manage your social media usage in the quick video version of this episode, available on YouTube and Spotify.

Summary and Close-Out

Because when it comes to social media and mental health, what it all boils down to is this: Social media can be a fantastic tool for connection, inspiration, and learning. It brings us closer to people and ideas from all around the world, providing us with a global platform to share and engage. However, like any tool, it needs to be managed with care and consideration. Setting thoughtful boundaries, curating a positive and meaningful feed, and engaging mindfully can all help you create a healthier relationship with these platforms. Remember that social media is not an accurate reflection of reality, but a highly curated and selective snapshot of it. It’s not about giving up social media entirely, but rather about finding a balance that serves you well. After all, our time online should enhance our real lives, not overshadow it. Make sure you’re allowing plenty of time for the real world, because this is where life is really lived!

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:

“Make as much time to dream as you do to scroll.”

Unknown

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

Next week I’ll be talking about validation. Ever wondered why a simple ‘well done’, or why accomplishing something can lift your spirits? Well, in my next episode I’m exploring the world of validation; what it really means for your mental health, why it holds so much power over your emotions, and how it affects your relationships, your self-esteem, and your overall mental wellbeing. So, if you’ve ever found yourself eagerly checking for likes on your latest post or waiting for a nod of approval from someone whose opinion you care about, this is an episode you won’t want to miss! So, next time I’ll be talking about what validation is, why we need validation, and how to approach validation in a healthy way.

I hope you’ll join me for that episode which will be released on Sunday the 11th of June, 2023. Make sure you hit ‘follow’ on your preferred podcast platform to stay up-to-date with new episodes.

You can watch a mini video version of this episode, full of more tips for how to manage your social media use, on Spotify and YouTube.

And if you’d like more tips to help you look after your mental health then sign up for my free newsletter Thursday Thoughts plus follow my two Instagram accounts, @ltamentalhealth and @itsjeremygodwin, where I post extra content daily. And become a supporter on Patreon for exclusive extra content plus early access to episodes. You’ll find all of those linked in the episode description and in the transcript at letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au.

Thank you very much for joining me today — look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness in the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Jeremy 🙂

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media, helping you find gratitude and meaning. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com

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Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Simple ideas for better mental health.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2023 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or a mental health professional if you are struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.