Let’s Talk About… Imposter Syndrome

What is imposter syndrome? How does it affect your mental health? And how can you overcome imposter syndrome and stop feeling like a fraud?

That’s what I’m talking about this week here on… Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast that helps you look after your mental health, with simple ideas you can put into practice immediately. So, get comfortable, and Let’s Talk About Mental Health…

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This podcast episode was originally released on 28 May, 2023.

Hello and welcome to Episode 181, and thanks so much for joining me as I talk about imposter syndrome and mental health!

I’m Jeremy Godwin and I share practical tips for improving your mental health based on quality research and my own personal experience of learning how to live with anxiety and depression following a breakdown in late 2011 that completely changed my life. Each week I look at how to improve one specific aspect of your wellbeing. 

In this episode I’ll be talking about what imposter syndrome is, why it affects us, and how to deal with and overcome imposter syndrome. So, let’s talk about imposter syndrome!

Introduction

I’ll never forget one of the first times I ever heard someone talking openly about feeling like an imposter sometimes. It was, rather surprisingly, Madonna in her 1991 film Truth or Dare (or as we know it here in Australia, In Bed With Madonna). 

Now, Madonna is hardly someone that you’d look at and imagine she’d be short on self-confidence from time to time — judging by the amount of times we’ve all seen her lady parts, I’d have said she has an abundance of confidence — however in her documentary that celebrated her enormous talent (and, sometimes, her even-more-enormous ego), Madonna would every now and then let her guard down enough for us to see that there’s much more to her than pointy bras and being nasty to people. In a conversation with her backing singers Niki and Donna she says:

“I’m in my dressing room sometimes and I think to myself… ‘Who do I think I am, trying to pull this off?’… I can only allow myself to think it once in a while because if I do, I’m gone.”

Madonna

Now, many years ago, I used to be able to quote that entire film word for word, like every other gay boy and teenage girl who grew up in the early 90’s — I may not remember all of the words anymore, but I do still know the full choreography to Vogue and can strike a pose at a moment’s notice — but it struck me as funny that that particular conversation kept on popping in my head when I was starting to think about what I wanted to say in this episode (so much so that I was driving and had to pull over to write myself a note just to get it out of my head). 

I was nearly 15 when that movie came out and I was riddled with insecurities, and just a general feeling of not stacking up compared to everyone else because I was different and creative and didn’t like football or cricket or anything that involved getting dirty, and in the small little suburban town that I grew up in that was more than enough to make me stand out like a sore thumb, and I was reminded on a daily basis (by fellow students and even random strangers in the street) that I was ‘different’ and not good enough, and sometimes I believed them. 

But then the biggest star in the world talked about how even she feels insecure sometimes, and it felt like she had looked straight into the camera and spoken directly to me, to my soul… and I heard what she said.

Because those types of thoughts, those lingering self-doubts and those feelings of being a fraud or just not good enough… those thoughts only have power if you give them power. And if you starve them of oxygen, they wither away and leave you with plenty of space to be the very best version of yourself possible. 

So that’s what I did, and it’s what I keep on doing — even on the days where the doubt creeps back in… because it does, even now — and today I’m going to be talking to you about not only how to stop feeling like an imposter but why making that choice to say “no!” to those types of thoughts will help you to feel infinitely better about who you are and who you are not.

So let’s get ourselves on the same page and let’s talk about… 

What is imposter syndrome?

And generally-speaking it’s when you have a persistent inability to believe that your success is deserved or that it’s been legitimately achieved as a result of your own efforts or skills (and that definition was adapted from the Oxford Dictionary).

Imposter syndrome happens when people start doubting their own achievements and skills, and they may even spend time worrying that they’ll be found out as a so-called ‘fraud’ even though they’re clearly not a fraud. I mentioned before that I know all about this topic from firsthand experience; for example, when I started this podcast I probably spent at least a year (if not longer) feeling like, “who the hell do I think I am to be sharing this information” and thinking that people wouldn’t listen to me because I don’t have the title ‘Doctor’ in front of my name. In fact, in many of my earlier episodes you’ll hear me repeatedly reinforcing my professional experience and educational qualifications because I rarely felt like I was good enough to be taken seriously (thankfully now I’ve gotten over that, which is lucky because I’ve been doing this show for three-and-a-half years now so that would be exhausting to still be thinking like that!). 

Here’s the thing: for many of us we can find that even when there’s plenty of proof that we’re good at what we do, we can still feel like we’re not up to scratch or that our success is down to luck or trickery, rather than our own hard work and abilities. But those thoughts are just simply not true.

Imposter syndrome can affect anyone, regardless of their background, education, or job; it’s estimated that 70% of people will experience at least one episode of imposter syndrome (also known as imposter phenomenon) at some point in their lives (and you’ll find a link to the article I pulled that statistic from in the transcript, which is linked in the episode description and available for free at ltamh.com in English, Spanish and Portuguese). 

Imposter syndrome is especially common in high-achievers, but people from all walks of like can feel this way too — students, workers, business leaders, public figures… it doesn’t matter. It’s a very specific form of self-doubt that can eat away at your self-confidence and potentially lead to issues like anxiety and depression in the longer-term.

So how do you know if you might have imposter syndrome? Well, it can manifest in various ways and it’s going to look and feel differently from person to person, but some common signs are:

• Persistent self-doubt about your abilities, accomplishments, and competence, even when there’s evidence to the contrary
• Difficulty accepting praise or compliments, or acknowledging your own skills and hard work
• Constantly worrying about being discovered as a fraud, despite having achieved success through your own merits.
• Setting unrealistically high standards for yourself and working excessively to avoid being perceived as a “fraud” or to compensate for things that you feel you’re not good at
• Downplaying your accomplishments, dismissing them as insignificant, or believing that anyone could have achieved the same results
• Procrastinating, delaying or avoiding tasks or opportunities due to fear of failure or judgement, or worrying about being exposed as an imposter
• Negative self-talk and focusing on your perceived flaws, failures, or inadequacies, instead of recognising your strengths and achievements
• Feeling undeserving of success
• Frequently comparing yourself to others
• Feeling uncomfortable with success or even worrying that being successful will lead other people to discover that you’re not as capable as they think you are

OK, so with all that in mind now let’s talk about…

Why does it affect us? 

And honestly we could probably sit here for hours and talk about all the many reasons why we can find ourselves feeling like a fraud — from the way we were raised through to how we feel about ourselves, not to mention the way that perfectionism and fear of failure can often take hold of our self-esteem and make it harder and harder to feel good about ourselves sometimes — and there are so many different things that can have an impact on the way we feel about ourselves; for example, starting a new job or taking on new challenges, or just finding ourselves falling into the comparison trap that often comes with social media usage (especially since very few people are showing anything but their best moments on Instagram!).   

So let’s talk about the ways that imposter syndrome can have a negative effect on your self-esteem, self-confidence, and general mental health and wellbeing.

First, it can lead you to doubt your abilities and accomplishments, resulting in a distorted perception of yourself that can then contribute to a negative self-image and lower self-esteem, especially if you feel like you’re less capable or deserving of success than you truly are.

Next, the constant questioning of your worth and competence can eat away at your self-confidence, making it hard for you to trust your abilities and take risks which can then have a negative impact on your personal and professional growth.

Then there’s negative self-talk, where you focus on your perceived flaws and failures instead of your strengths and achievements; the more you do this, the more you tend to feel inadequate and your self-esteem will suffer as a result.

There’s the fear of failure or exposure, which can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and avoidance of new challenges or opportunities, all of which will limit your growth and development, making you feel inadequate and so reinforcing the imposter syndrome cycle.

And then the other thing we need to talk about is that imposter syndrome often fuels perfectionism, leading you to set unrealistically high standards for yourself in order to avoid being “found out” as a fraud. However, perfectionism can lead to excessive stress, burnout, and an inability to celebrate your accomplishments, all of which can take a huge toll on your mental health.

And then, beyond all that, imposter syndrome can also put a strain on your personal and professional relationships, given that you might find it tough to accept praise or maybe you need constant reassurance.

So, the short version is that imposter syndrome, if left unchecked, can really take a toll on your mental health. When you’re constantly doubting yourself, your self-esteem and self-confidence can suffer, making it really tough to feel good about yourself and to focus on doing the things you need to do. Feeling anxious and stressed about being “found out” as a fraud, even when you’re not, can be pretty overwhelming and stressful. 

So what can you do to deal with these types of feelings? Well, let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about…

How to deal with and overcome imposter syndrome

So let’s start with work on your self-awareness — and if you’ve ever listened to my podcast before then you’re probably groaning because this is the piece of advice I give in nearly every single episode… and there’s a very good reason for that! We human beings have the remarkable ability to convince ourselves of almost anything and sometimes that means that the delusion can run riot (you only have to look at social media for proof!), however when we force ourselves to be completely honest with ourselves it allows us to better understand who we are and who we are not. This is probably one of the hardest things for many of us to do, because our insecurities and self-criticisms often get in the way, but being able to take a step back and objectively assess what you’re genuinely good at (and what you’re not) will help you to better manage those ‘imposter’ thoughts if and when they arise. Like I said, I know this is tough to do — I’ve had many fully grown adults recoil in horror when I’ve directly asked them to tell me what they’re good at, and they’re usually the same people who can rattle off a list of their perceived failures and worst features at the drop of a hat — but I suggest starting small and making a list of the things you know you’re good at, and adding to it over time. Even if it’s just one or two things to begin with, that’s still one or two things to be proud of! And, for example, even when you might not be able to think of something I guarantee you there’s still plenty for you to see (when you’re ready and willing to see it!); I told you earlier about my insecurities about doing this show in the first year or so, and it took me sitting down and making a list of my skills, knowledge and experience to put things into context (I mean, I actually have a degree in psychology and sociology so that puts me head and shoulders above 99% of people writing and talking about self-improvement and personal development… no shade to my fellow professionals in the field!). And funnily enough, that leads to my next point…

Stop comparing yourself to others — because there is no direct comparison; your life experiences and expertise are never going to be 100% identical to someone else because we’re all unique, and that’s your superpower! Focus on your own growth and achievements rather than measuring yourself against others, because comparisons can fuel imposter syndrome and they’re just messy and unnecessary, so focus instead on your unique journey and choose to appreciate your strengths. Which leads to my next point…

Identify your strengths — and this is kind-of related to the first point I made, about knowing yourself, but now I want you to actually sit down and make a list of all the things you’re good at. Now, this can be a bit too much for some people (and fair call) so another way to do this could be to ask a few people for what they think your strengths are; the benefit of doing it this way is that you often hear things you never thought about, plus you can also start to identify themes or patterns if you talk to more than just a couple of people. I talked about self-awareness back in Episode 62 so you’ll find that helpful as part of this general piece about getting to know yourself better. OK, next… 

Practice self-compassion — and that means consciously treating yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a close friend. Look, everyone has moments of self-doubt and it’s completely OK to feel this way sometimes… instead of beating yourself up, show yourself compassion and be gentle with yourself. And remember that nobody on this planet is perfect because perfection just doesn’t exist (and I covered perfectionism back in Episode 98 and self-compassion in Episode 153). And that leads to my next point… 

Learn to embrace failure — look, I don’t think it’s a particularly great idea to go out of your way to intentionally mess everything up… but the fact is that we all make mistakes and it’s OK. Mistakes are how we learn, provided we’re not stubborn or arrogant. Failure is part of learning and growing, so you need to give yourself permission to fail which can then free you up to take more calculated risks in life instead of being fearful about the possible outcomes (and I covered failure in Episode 84). One way to do that is with my next point… 

Set realistic goals — and that means not putting too much unrealistic pressure on yourself, and focusing on the things that are within your direct control. Set achievable goals and break them down into the smallest possible steps, and then just focus on one step at a time. And remember, again, that nobody’s perfect – it’s absolutely fine to have high standards (I know I certainly do!), but don’t let your standards become a burden that then makes it almost impossible to achieve anything. OK, next… 

Reframe your thinking — when negative thoughts pop into your head, consciously challenge them by focusing on your accomplishments and abilities instead. The fact is that it’s your talents, skills and expertise that have gotten you this far and which keep you progressing; luck can only ever take you so far and it certainly cannot substitute for actual ability… so the next time you think you ‘just got lucky’, remind yourself of all the hours and days and months and years of hard work you’ve put in to reach the place that you’re at now, and then shift your focus onto your strengths and successes instead. Your thoughts only have power if you give them power, so starve them of attention and they’ll eventually disappear! And speaking of your successes, my next point is…

Celebrate your successes — and that means taking a moment to acknowledge and appreciate your achievements, regardless of whether they’re big or small. You know, while I sit here working at my desk I have a sticky note up on my wall — directly in my line of sight — reminding me that in 2022 my show was in the top 10 podcasts for nearly a quarter of a million of you wonderful people, which simultaneously blows my mind and makes me feel very proud. And do you know what? That’s worthy of celebrating, because this is a completely independent show that I write and create all on my own (well, with the help of my wonderful audio editor and the people who review my Spanish and Portuguese transcript translations each week!). Giving yourself credit for all of the things that you’ve accomplished so far is a great way to reinforce your self-confidence in a positive way and also fight imposter syndrome at the same time. OK, next… 

Turn your negative thoughts into a character — and at this point you’re probably wondering what psychedelics I’ve been taking, but hear me out! There’s a fairly common technique in psychology that encourages you to take the negative feelings you’re working on and give them a name, and imagine it as a character that’s separate from yourself so that you can observe it and interact with it and talk to it in a more detached way… and it’s something you could do for imposter syndrome as well, if it feels like it might be useful for you, and it might help you to be able to talk to it and tell it to back off, by name, if it’s getting in the way; maybe it’s just me, but nothing takes the power away from these kinds of emotions quite like being able to say something like “Oh back off, Gertrude!” or “Shut up, Nigel!” (and I’m terribly sorry if your name is Gertrude or Nigel, or Gertrude McNigelson!). OK, so, next… 

Practice gratitude — and this is another piece of advice I frequently give and I do so for two reasons: (a) I do it myself every morning and it makes a huge difference (and I have a digital planner to help you spend a few minutes every day improving your mental health with techniques like this; it’s linked in the episode description), and (b) it’s hard to focus on negative stuff when you’re consciously turning your attention to all of the positive stuff in your life! Focus on what you’re grateful for in your life, including your skills, talents, and support network, because cultivating an attitude of gratitude can help you to appreciate your achievements more and also start to reduce any feelings of inadequacy. OK, next…

Keep a ‘success file’ — and by that I mean to create a file or journal where you record your accomplishments, positive feedback, and praise from others; when imposter syndrome strikes, refer back to the stuff in this file to remind yourself of your achievements and the impact you’ve made. I have a folder on my phone with screenshots of nice feedback that I’ve received about my work and it’s really helpful if I’m ever doubting myself to just flick through and see how my work makes a tangible difference for people. OK, next…

Join an acting or improv class — and this is definitely a more creative and out-there suggestion so let me explain: acting and improvisational theatre can help you learn how to think on your feet, trust your instincts, and adapt to unexpected challenges… which all just happen to be very valuable skills that can help you in overcoming imposter syndrome. If improv makes you cringe a bit (like it does me; sorry, no offence to anyone) then maybe look at a public speaking group or take an active role in a community organisation… the point is to challenge yourself and to show yourself just how talented you really are! OK, next… 

Talk to someone — and this is another one I say a lot because the more we talk about it, the easier it gets! Talk to friends, mentors, or professionals about what you’re going through; it can be really reassuring to know that others might feel the same way, and they can also potentially offer you some valuable insights (or, at the very least, a willing ear to listen and a kind shoulder to lean on).

Summary and Close-Out

Because when it comes to imposter syndrome and mental health, what it all boils down to is this: Imposter syndrome is something that many of us face, but the good news is that we all have the power to overcome it. By understanding your feelings, challenging your negative thoughts, and embracing creative strategies that feel right for you, you can cultivate greater self-confidence and resilience. Remember, it’s absolutely OK to feel self-doubt at times, but don’t let it hold you back. We all deserve to celebrate our achievements, embrace our unique journeys, and reach our full potential. That starts with making the choice to believe — really believe — in your own worth and in your abilities… because you are truly more-than-capable of greatness!

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:

“No one else can convince you you’re good enough. Only you can do that.”

Unknown

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

Next week I’ll be talking about social media. I’m old enough to remember a time before Instagram and Twitter and all the other platforms that are so commonplace in our lives today (I mean, let’s be honest here, I’m also old enough to remember a time before the Internet was a thing… but that’s a conversation for another day that will probably require a lot of Valium to get through!). In the past decade or two there have been massive changes to the way we live and how we connect with one another — many of them good and some of them not so good — and social media has progressively taken a bigger and bigger role in our lives, affecting how we interact with others and how we think about ourselves… and all of that can have a huge impact on your mental health if it’s not managed in a thoughtful and considered way. So, next time I’ll be talking about what social media is (and what it isn’t), why it affects our mental health, and how to develop a healthier relationship with social media.

I hope you’ll join me for that episode which will be released on Sunday the 4th of June, 2023. Make sure you hit ‘follow’ on your preferred podcast platform to stay up-to-date with new episodes.

You can watch a mini video version of this episode, full of more tips for how to overcome imposter syndrome, on Spotify and YouTube.

And if you’d like even more tips to help you look after your mental health then sign up for my free newsletter Thursday Thoughts plus follow my two Instagram accounts, @ltamentalhealth and @itsjeremygodwin, where I post extra content daily. Plus if you become a supporter on my Patreon you’ll receive exclusive extra content as well as early access to episodes. You’ll find all of those linked in the episode description and in the transcript at ltamh.com. 

And if you’d like more tips to help you look after your mental health then sign up for my free newsletter Thursday Thoughts plus follow my two Instagram accounts, @ltamentalhealth and @itsjeremygodwin, where I post extra content daily. And become a supporter on Patreon for exclusive extra content plus early access to episodes. You’ll find all of those linked in the episode description and in the transcript at letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au.

Thank you very much for joining me today — look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness in the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Jeremy 🙂

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media, helping you find gratitude and meaning. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com

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Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Simple ideas for better mental health.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2023 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or a mental health professional if you are struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.