If you’ve had enough of imposter syndrome running the show, then get ready to talk about how to stop feeling like a fraud so you can boost your self-work. So, Let’s Talk About Mental Health!

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Episode Overview:

Feeling like a fraud? Then let’s talk about feeling like an imposter and how to believe in yourself!

In this episode of the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast, I cut through the noise of imposter syndrome and show you how to stop feeling like an imposter without drama. I’ll teach you how to believe in yourself more by checking feelings against facts so you can build self trust, boost your self worth, and develop a calmer mindset that supports your personal development (hello less stress, anxiety, and burnout!). 

This episode is for anyone who’s stuck in their own head and wants clear, practical mental health tips: how to stop imposter syndrome, how to back yourself, and how to act on evidence. 

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is your weekly dose of practical advice for better mental health with Jeremy Godwin 👋. I keep things simple, honest, and doable so you can feel more in control of your life and your mental wellbeing. 

👉 Ready to stop feeling like a fraud so you can build your confidence and move forward with a calmer mind? Then let’s talk!

💡 TL;DR: Had enough of imposter syndrome running the show? This episode explores how to stop feeling like an imposter and boost your self-worth for a calmer mind. 🙂

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Episode Transcript:

Feel like an imposter? Here’s how to stop

Are you feeling like an imposter?

Well, where’s the proof?!

Imposter thoughts aren’t the truth; they’re a familiar story that your brain tells you to keep you safe… but stories are not evidence.

So, today I’ll show you how to trust what the proof says about you, even when doubt is loud, so that you can really believe in yourself.

We have a lot to discuss, so let’s talk about…

feeling like a fraud.

Hello and welcome back to the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast, your weekly dose of practical advice for better mental health! I’m Jeremy Godwin, and this week I’m talking about feeling like a fraud and what to do when your head swears blind that you’re an imposter, even if the facts say otherwise.

Now, it’s hard enough in life when other people don’t believe in you. When Victoria Beckham became a fashion designer, everyone thought, who the hell does she think she is?! But what happens when that call is coming from inside the house? What do you do when it’s you who’s doubting yourself?

In Episode 305, we talked about turning down the volume on your inner bully so that you can stop being so hard on yourself and respect yourself a lot more… and this episode is the natural follow-on.

So, when doubt pipes up again, and it will, how do you check the story in your head against solid, tangible proof so that you can then really believe in yourself?

Because imposter feelings are not facts. They’re a safety reflex.

New responsibilities, or having more eyes on your work, or perfectionism that requires you to move the goalposts, or old approval rules that you never signed up for…. these are all things that tend to nudge your brain to want to play it safe with a familiar tale, like “Be careful, you don’t really belong here.” It feels convincing, and it’s a loud voice. But it isn’t proof. So you need to learn how to sort fact from fiction before fear sends you running for the hills instead of taking chances in life.

So today we’re going to look at what’s actually happening when that spike of “I’m a fraud!” hits, and why your mind goes straight to the worst case scenario, and then we’ll talk about how to respond in a way that’s fair and calm.

This is not about just pretending that you’re fearless. It’s about acknowledging the fear and learning how to act anyway. Think of it like swapping a cheap disguise for a clear mirror: you’ll learn to see what’s true, not what the fear-filled script in your head is shouting at you.

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a simple path that you can follow the next time your brain tries to sell you that old “you’re not enough” story.

So let’s start by getting clear on what all of this means and what it doesn’t, and let’s talk about…

What are imposter feelings?

When you feel like an imposter it means that your brain’s safety system is misfiring under pressure, which we’ll explore further in a minute.

But a quick note here on language first: you’re going to hear me say mainly “imposter feelings” much more than “imposter syndrome” and that’s because I don’t want to turn what is a perfectly natural human doubt into some sort of pathological disorder or diagnosis. We’re talking about a set of feelings here; feelings that you can check against evidence and that you can manage.So for search clarity, I’ll still mention “imposter syndrome” every now and then, but the focus today is on feelings that you can work with rather than fixing a label onto something.

When something matters to you, like giving a presentation, your nervous system scans for danger because whatever it is matters to you. Uncertainty plus visibility can feel risky, so your brain reaches for a familiar and protective story like, “Careful, you’re not really good enough.” That story sounds accurate because it borrows old voices, like family members, teachers, bosses, etc., and it mixes them all together with perfectionism and self-criticism. But even though all of that happens and it feels really loud and insistent, the fact remains that it is still just a story. It is not evidence.

Think about the last time that you had to deliver something slightly outside of your comfort zone. You probably double checked all the tiny details, or maybe you rewrote a sentence 12 times over, or you might have avoided starting entirely because it suddenly felt like it was all just too much and too high stakes. That’s not proof that you’re a fraud. It’s your threat response trying to keep you safe by shrinking down the risk. And because your attention narrows when you’re stressed, your brain goes hunting for errors and it ignores the bigger picture of what’s actually working well for you, and that then makes the “I’m a fraud!” story feel even more convincing.

Now, another piece here that contributes is approval conditioning. Many of us learned very early on that praise equals safety. So we over-perform or try to read what other people want before we decide what we think. It can happen for a lot of people. It is especially common for those who grew up in unstable home environments because we had to learn very early on how to read the situation so that we could survive and look after ourselves. The thing is though, that all of that thought process as an adult pulls you away from fair self-assessment and then into second-guessing. When you add in things like social comparison and a desire to, you know, be the best and only see polished outcomes without all the messy drafts that it takes to get there, then of course your inner critic has a field day with this stuff! But none of that means that you lack ability. It means the context is turning the volume up on doubt.

It’s also worth saying that competence rarely feels like fireworks from the inside, right? Familiar skills feel ordinary to you… precisely because you’ve practiced them so often before. So when you do something well, it can feel like it’s nothing special and your brain quietly discounts it. Meanwhile… any stumble, anything out of the ordinary, gets filed under “evidence that I’m not good enough” or “proof that I’m a hot mess” and that imbalance feeds the loop. Anxious thought leads to over preparing or avoiding, leads to short term relief, leads to more doubt next time.

Now let’s talk about…

Why you feel like an imposter

When something matters, or you feel exposed, your threat system leans towards the worst case scenario in order to keep you safe. Doubt can feel safer than giving yourself credit or focusing on your worth; if you expect the fall, then you can’t be disappointed. But that’s protection, not truth.

Because old approval rules are loud.

Many of us learnt early on that criticism equals danger, so we tend to over prepare or read the room before we decide whether or not we’re going to back ourselves. That habit pulls you away from fair self-assessment and into second guessing, and it’s why you might feel like you have to perform for approval, even when the evidence already says that you’re doing fine.

A big part of the problem is that perfectionism keeps moving the goalposts on you, and if the idea of ‘good enough’ is never really clearly defined then your brain never gets the green light to stand down. It stays on constant alert. The feeling lingers because the target keeps shifting, not because you lack ability.

Knowing all of this stuff matters because it makes those imposter feelings far less personal and more workable. If you can say to yourself, “Oh, hang on, imposter syndrome! This is my safety system kicking in, not a verdict on my worth…” then you begin to create space to check the facts, and that’s the shift that I want you to make: from just obeying a loud story to testing it, so that you can give yourself accurate credit for the skills and experience that you do have… which is exactly how you begin to learn to believe in yourself a lot more.

So the main thing here is that these types of thoughts feel true because your brain is trying to keep you safe. It’s not because you’re actually a fraud.

So let’s stop obeying the story and start checking the facts instead, and I’m going to show you a really simple and effective way to do exactly that right after this quick break…

[AD BREAK]

And welcome back! So now let’s get into the practical part of this episode and let’s talk about…

How to beat imposter syndrome and stop feeling like a fraud

Let’s talk through some quick things you can do in the moment to tackle imposter feelings, and then we’ll explore some longer term changes that will help you to believe in yourself a lot more. So my first quick action is…

Proof first!

Your brain likes to bring out a megaphone to label you an imposter, so bring your receipts to shut it up!

When the “I’m a fraud” feeling hits, don’t argue with it. Check it instead. Say out loud, or write down, “What’s the evidence I have right now that I can do this?”

Then I want you to name two or three concrete pieces of proof: tangible things that you’ve achieved, outcomes you’ve delivered, feedback, past wins, etc.; you know, maybe it’s that you delivered three client decks last month, or that your manager asked you to train someone new.

And then the next step is to take a moment to label what you’re feeling as accurately as possible in a word or two, like anxious, unprepared, tired, worried.

Finally, I want you to pick the smallest next step you can do in under 10 minutes to move forward. That could be draft the outline, send a clarifying question, open the document and write a heading.

The thing is that feelings stay loud when you freeze, but they lose steam when you act on something tiny and specific that is aligned with the facts.

OK, the next quick thing you can do is…

Do the two column fact check.

And this is about emphasising story versus facts.

Grab a piece of paper or open a note and split the page down the middle on the left. Write the exact imposter story that your brain’s telling you, like: “I shouldn’t be here, they’ll see I’m not good enough.” And then on the right, I want you to answer it with specific facts; again, things like: outcomes you’ve delivered, experience you’ve gained, skills you’ve used, times you’ve handled this type of thing before, one thing you’ve improved lately… whatever it is, write it down and then read the ‘facts’ column out loud to yourself.

When you’ve done that, close the note or put it away and then take one small action that fits into the more positive story that you just wrote down on the right hand side… similar to the last point, right? This is just something really simple and straightforward, so maybe it’s make the phone call that you need to make, or book the 15-minute run-through for Thursday, or post a one-paragraph update in the team channel, whatever.

The whole point here is that this turns what is a vague and threatening story into a solvable moment, and it serves to anchor your attention to reality rather than prediction or fear, or both.

Alright, the next quick action is…

Do a one question debrief.

The basic premise here is ‘evidence first every time’, which is a very good rule of thumb to remember when it comes to these kinds of intrusive and negative thoughts.

So… right after a task, even a small one, ask yourself just one question: what did I do that worked? Answer it in one sentence.

And then, if you want to, add a second question: what will I adjust next time? And then answer that.

This is about learning, but it’s also a really simple way to start training your brain to register proof before criticism. It’s tiny, it’s immediate, it’s focused on self-awareness, and it’s highly effective because it helps you to build a habit of fair assessment without turning it into a more complicated exercise.

OK, so that’s the three quick actions. Now let’s get into some longer term changes for you to work on bit by bit over the coming months. First one is…

Do an ‘approval rules’ audit.

Don’t worry, this is not as complicated as it sounds!

So… over the next month, notice where you feel like you have to perform for approval. Is it in specific moments, or settings? With specific people? I want you to pick one situation and write down two short sentences for yourself.

First is: “The old rule I’m obeying is…” and then identify one specific one. So this could be something like: “The old rule I’m obeying is that I’m not perfect, I am a failure.”

And then I want you to write down: “The new choice I’m making is…” and then I want you to decide on how you’re going to approach it in a calmer and more respectful and kind way. So that might be, “The new choice I’m making is that I deliver things clearly and on time. Perfect is optional, but not necessary.”

So then we’ve got to do something further with it, which is about action. So then it’s up to you to make one small behavioural change each week that honours the new contract that you’ve just created. Perhaps that means stating your recommendation first, or declining a non-urgent request.

Maybe an example could be that you’ve previously felt like that you absolutely must reply to emails quickly in order to be perceived as competent and capable; so that’s the old rule. The new contract could be, “I will reply within business hours with a clear next step,” because that makes communication much more effective. And then the behaviour could be: “I’ll turn off push notifications on my emails after 6:00 PM” so you don’t get pinged nonstop with them and feel like you have to respond.

This is all about mindset and behaviour; you’re rewriting the terms that you live by, not begging for permission. When you do this once a week for at least a month, longer would be fantastic, you will begin to definitely see real change over time.

OK, the next longer term thing to work on is…

Build a feedback structure.

This is about proactively seeking out well-rounded, constructive feedback that will allow you to identify where you’re doing well and what development opportunities you might need to work on. Keep it simple and contained though; so, you neither want nor need everyone’s opinion because too many voices leads to too much confusion.

So, set up a simple monthly loop for yourself with three sources: one mentor, to give you ‘big picture’ feedback; one peer, so someone at your same level roughly, to give you specific feedback; and then yourself, for self-awareness and reviewing evidence… in other words, you’re in charge of the receipts!

Once a month ask each of them, including yourself, to let you know one clear and concrete strength of yours that they’ve identified, and then one high priority improvement. Let them know that you’re asking for constructive feedback and objectivity, but also let them know that you are open and welcoming to that feedback… and please actually be so when you get it! I want you to focus on objective patterns here, not praise, right?

So there’s a reason why I didn’t say, “ask your Mum” or “see what your sister thinks,” because you’re not going to get objective feedback; you’re going to get praise, probably. You also probably will get ripped to shreds, depending on the relationship, especially if it’s your best friend!

When the same strength shows up across multiple sources, though, like so if it’s coming from your peer as well as from your mentor, believe what they’re telling you… and if you start getting feedback about the same suggested tweaks that you need to make, work on it.

So the whole approach here is about replacing vague self-judgement with a much more reliable calibration system, the kind that helps you to quietly grow your self-trust.

The next longer term change to make is…

Make ‘good enough’ non-negotiable.

It can be so easy to get caught up in perfectionism, or the desire to please others, that it can take you away from actually doing the thing that needs to be done… and more importantly, getting it done. So before you undertake any meaningful task, just remember that done is better than perfect.

So… I want you to define what ‘good enough’ looks and feels like upfront. For example: What is the scope of the task? Who is the audience? What will the end product need to be? Or what will it be? What’s a realistic finish time, etc…? How will you know when it’s done? Write down all of this stuff so that you can see it while you work. If perfectionism kicks off, don’t debate with it; just go back to the definition that you wrote down.

And then once you’re at 90% done or above, you’re good to go. This is not about lowering your standards, it’s about preventing perfectionism from taking over or from the standard mutating mid-task.

Over time your brain will learn that work has clear endpoints, which reduces avoidance and makes your output more consistent… the exact conditions where self-trust grows and where you’re able to better see the quality of the things that you do.

For all of those, for the instructions for the things that we talked about, you can find it in my transcript for this episode, which is available for free on my website. It’s linked in the description below, or you can head to ltamh.com/episodes where you’ll find them all. Quick tip here: if you sign up for my mailing list, you actually get them for free in your inbox every Sunday when the new episode is released.

So those are the tips for this episode about how to battle imposter feelings or overcome imposter syndrome. Tell me in the comments which ones you’re going to try and why, I’d love to know!

So here’s the thing: imposter thoughts are safety stories, not facts. When you test them against actual facts and take small steps forward, that story loses its power… and your self-belief then becomes a lot steadier and it can grow.

Because when you boil it all down, believing what the proof says about you is how you protect your peace and stop feeling like a fraud.

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by the author Aldous Huxley, and it is…

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Aldous Huxley

Let me repeat that.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Alright, that’s it for this week.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world… because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Check out my episode on improving your self-worth next, it’s linked in the description and follow or subscribe to never miss an episode.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program. Discover more at ltamh.com.

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Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
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