What does ‘nurturing your inner child’ mean? And how do you do it? Well, that’s what this week’s episode is all about… so, let’s talk! 😃

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LISTEN TO THE EPISODE

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Show Notes

Episode Description:

Have you ever wondered how inner child healing could transform your mental health? In this episode, I dive into the power of inner child work and how to reparent yourself with kindness and understanding. By learning to reconnect with your inner child, you can begin to heal wounds from childhood and break free from limiting emotional patterns. I’ll also share practical techniques for overcoming wounds from childhood, helping you foster a sense of safety and peace within yourself. Tune in to explore how nurturing your inner child can lead to profound healing and emotional growth.

Episode Release Date:
October 20th, 2024

Key Points:

• What your inner child is and why it matters  
• How unresolved childhood wounds affect mental health  
• Practical ways to nurture your inner child  
• The importance of reparenting yourself for emotional healing  
• How nurturing your inner child can improve emotional resilience and joy

Mentioned in this Episode (links open in new window):

• Episode 245: Reframing  
• Episode 153: Self-Compassion  
• Episode 247: Loving Yourself More  
• Episode 248: Healthy Boundaries
• Resources on daily affirmations for grounding  
• Link to my YouTube channel for additional content (new videos every Wednesday)

Quote of the Week:

“You aren’t responsible for what was done to you, but you are responsible for your own healing.” — Unknown

Call to Action:

How do you nurture your inner child? Share your thoughts in the Spotify comments section, or connect with me on Instagram @ltamentalhealth. Sign up for the weekly transcript and show notes at ltamh.com.

Next Week’s Episode:

Next week, I’ll be talking about how to make more informed decisions (and why critical thinking plays a huge role in good mental health). Scheduled for release on October 27, 2024 (one week earlier for Official Supporters on Patreon).

Listen, Rate and Follow:
Hit ‘follow’ on your podcast service and turn on notifications. Available on all major services including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, YouTube Music and more.

Connect with Jeremy Godwin:
Find me on Instagram @itsjeremygodwin (and sometimes on Threads at the same handle).

Support the Show:
Become a paid supporter on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes and exclusive content (opens in new window).

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TRANSCRIPT

How to nurture your inner child

What’s the key to enjoying life? What are simple and effective ways to enjoy your life more? And can you learn how to make life fulfilling What impact does being impatient have on you? Does Can you learn how to heal from trauma and difficulties in your childhood? What if you could reparent yourself and heal your inner child? How could learning to nurture your inner child help you feel more stable and secure in life?

Well, that’s what I’m talking about in this episode: how to show your inner child the love you deserve. 

Ready to take the first step towards greater peace of mind? Then, let’s talk!

This episode contains references to abuse. Listener discretion is advised.

Hello and welcome back to the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast, the independent show full of simple ideas for better mental health, and thanks for joining me!

If you’re new here, then hi! I’m Jeremy Godwin, podcast creator and writer, and this isn’t another show full of interviews or random opinions; I’m also a mental health counsellor, and each week I teach you practical and effective ways to improve your mental wellbeing, all based on quality research as well as my own experience of learning to live with anxiety and depression (after a breakdown in 2011 that changed my life).

This is Episode 254 and today I’ll be talking about the concept of nurturing your inner child — what it means, why it matters, and how you can do it in practical ways.

So, let’s talk!

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Think about this for a moment: when was the last time you truly listened to the part of yourself that just wants to feel safe, loved, and understood? That’s your inner child; the part of you that carries the emotions, memories, and experiences from your earliest years. No matter how much we grow, that inner child still influences how we think, feel, and respond to the world around us. Sometimes, without realising it, we carry wounds from childhood that can affect our mental health and wellbeing as adults… and then some of us have to deal with the traumatic effects of abuse or neglect, which can tend to affect us throughout most of (if not all) of our lives. 

But here’s the good news: it’s never too late to start nurturing your inner child, and becoming the parent you needed, so that you can begin to heal those old wounds and create a much greater sense of peace and fulfilment in your life.

I’ve been doing a lot of work with my therapist lately about how to heal from trauma by learning how to reparent myself, which sounds like the most Ricki-Lake/Sally-Jessy-Raphael thing that has ever come out of my mouth (served with a large side order of Oprah, Oprah, Oprah!), and yet — as ‘self-help’ as it might sound — I have to tell you that not only has it helped me enormously, but it also makes sense if you think about it; I talk often about the fact that our emotions don’t just magically disappear if we ignore them, and so all of that traumatic stuff is buried in there somewhere and it needs to be processed in a healthy way in order to actually deal with it.

Whether you’ve experienced trauma, or just want to reconnect with the playful and curious side of yourself, this episode will offer tips and insights to help you on your journey. It’s all about giving yourself the care and compassion you might not have received back then, and learning to truly embrace all the parts of who you are. 

So, let’s start with some definitions and let’s talk about… 

What does ‘nurturing your inner child’ mean?

In simple terms, your inner child represents the part of you that holds onto the emotions, experiences, and memories from your early years. It’s the part of you that still feels those childhood needs, desires, and insecurities — even if you’re an adult. We all have an inner child, and it’s that part of us that often carries the weight of our unresolved feelings, whether they’re related to moments of joy or moments of pain (although today I’ll be talking more about the painful stuff). Nurturing your inner child means recognising that those feelings are valid, no matter how long ago they began, and then taking the time to care for and heal that part of yourself.

On a practical level, nurturing your inner child is about consciously reconnecting with your past self and offering the care and compassion you might have needed but didn’t always receive. For example, you might find that certain emotions or triggers today are rooted in unmet needs from your childhood — like feeling unheard, or abandoned. By identifying those feelings, you can take steps to provide yourself with the understanding and support you needed back then. That could involve engaging in self-compassion exercises or revisiting those feelings in therapy to help reframe your past experiences. Another practical way is to tap into playful activities that your younger self enjoyed, because these can serve to remind you that it’s OK to find joy in the simple things, no matter how old you are. Think about something you loved to do as a child, like drawing or riding a bike, and make space for that in your adult life; it’s the reason why I quote random songs from the 80s and 90s so often in my work, because it brings me joy and it connects me with my youth (something that seems further and further away every time I look in the mirror, but that’s definitely a conversation for another day!).

In a mental health context, nurturing your inner child becomes a powerful tool for your self-healing and personal growth. Often, unresolved emotional wounds from our childhood can show up in our adult life as anxiety, fear, or self-doubt and, if left unaddressed, they can shape how you interact with the world around you. When you actively nurture your inner child, you’re not just healing those old wounds — you’re creating a stronger foundation for better mental health overall. This can be emotionally-intense work, which is why it’s often done with the support of a therapist or a trusted professional so that you have the guidance and safety you need to process those deep emotions. 

Ultimately, though, nurturing your inner child is really about giving yourself permission to acknowledge your past pain and offering yourself the care and reassurance you needed back then, which can have a huge impact on your present wellbeing. Childhood traumas of all types will leave a pretty big mark on your soul, and many of us can find ourselves in our adulthood having to work through the consequences of being mistreated and disrespected… through no fault of our own. 

One of the things I didn’t really realise until quite recently (mainly because I suppressed it) is that there’s a version of me deep inside who’s still that wounded little kid who just wants to be loved, valued, and nurtured… and he tends to act out if he’s not getting what he needs. So the more I’ve learned how to show myself the love I needed (and still need), the more capable I’ve become at handling my emotional reactions to things (I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not perfect at it; if you cross me I still may lash out like a cut snake, or turn like a Lazy Susan in a hurricane, but I do it far less than I used to before I started all this work… which is probably a blessing for humanity, not just me!). 

So, now let’s talk about…

Why should you nurture your inner child?

And really, aside from the fundamental fact that you deserve to be showered with love and kindness, especially from yourself, nurturing your inner child allows you to reconnect with the parts of yourself that may have been neglected or overlooked during your formative years. Everyone experiences both joys and challenges as children, and those experiences — especially the difficult ones — can leave lasting impressions on how you think, feel, and behave as an adult. 

When you take the time to consciously nurture your inner child, you’re essentially acknowledging the impact of those early years on your present self and taking responsibility for your healing and growth… because you aren’t responsible for what was done to you, but you are responsible for your own healing. 

Nurturing your inner child is an act of self-care that helps you meet your emotional needs (like feeling safe, understood, valued, respected, etc.), especially if those needs might have gone unmet in your childhood. It’s about creating a bridge between your past and your present, allowing you to address unresolved feelings so they don’t continue to affect you (and your relationships) in your adult life.

In a more general sense, nurturing your inner child helps to build greater self-awareness and emotional resilience. A lot of the challenges we face as adults — whether it’s difficulty in our relationships, struggles with our self-worth, chronic stress, etc. —can often be traced back to unmet childhood needs; for example, stress and burnout can happen when we constantly push ourselves to achieve more, more, more… and for a lot of us that has its roots in our earliest years, when we learnt lessons about what served to get us the attention we desperately craved. By recognising and caring for your inner child, and understanding your own patterns, you create an opportunity to break unhelpful cycles and develop healthier responses to life’s challenges. It’s also a way of reconnecting with joy, curiosity, and creativity — qualities that often get buried under the responsibilities and stresses of adult life. When you nurture your inner child, you give yourself permission to rediscover the things that make you feel truly alive and engaged; whether that’s through play, exploration, or simply learning to embrace a more open-hearted approach to the world.

From a mental health perspective, the importance of nurturing your inner child cannot be overstated. Many mental health issues, like anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, can stem from unresolved emotional wounds from childhood. These might include feelings of neglect, or rejection, or abandonment, and without proper attention they can shape how you view yourself and your place in the world. Nurturing your inner child helps to bring these types of deep-seated feelings to the surface, where they can be acknowledged and understood, and then worked through. It’s about learning to care for that younger version of yourself in the way that you may not have experienced back then, and that can lead to profound shifts in your mental health, helping you to heal old wounds and build your self-confidence, not to mention fostering a sense of inner security and peace that might have been missing previously.

When you invest time and energy into this kind of inner work, you’re actively creating space for more joy, self-compassion, and emotional resilience in your life, all of which leads to better mental health and a deeper sense of overall fulfilment. Make no mistake, the process of nurturing your inner child can be tough — because it involves delving into past hurts and emotions — but it’s a crucial step towards your emotional freedom and wellbeing.

So, how do you take that step? Well, let’s first take a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…

AD BREAK [Note: Ads do not play if you have Spotify Premium or are an Official Supporter tier Patreon supporter]

And welcome back! Now let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about… 

How to start nurturing your inner child

OK, first, work with a professional — and as a mental health professional it would be irresponsible of me to just hand you a stack of tips (or a self-help book) and tell you to just go sort yourself out; if you’ve had a particularly traumatic past, it’s crucial to work with an appropriate professional, like a therapist, who specialises in inner child work. Addressing deeply rooted emotional wounds can bring up difficult feelings, and having the support of a qualified professional means you have a safe space to process those emotions and they can guide you through the more challenging aspects of both healing and developing coping strategies tailored to your unique experiences. Even if you don’t have major trauma to work through, working with a professional can help you navigate this process more effectively. While there are plenty of things you can do on your own to nurture your inner child, professional support can make a huge difference (especially when it comes to understanding and integrating those experiences into your life). OK, next…

Speak to your inner child — and I don’t mean standing in the middle of Woolworths or Tesco’s going “Oi, Tracey, how’s about a chat?!” (because you’re probably going to scare a few shoppers!), but this is about speaking directly to your younger self and offering them reassurance and understanding, which gives you the opportunity to comfort and validate feelings that may have been ignored or misunderstood in the past. You can do this through simple practices like journaling or writing a letter to your younger self, or through visualisation exercises where you picture yourself having a conversation with them; try asking your inner child questions like, “What do you need from me today?” or “How are you feeling?” It might feel a bit awkward at first, but over time, it can become a really powerful tool for healing. Next…

Acknowledge your inner child’s feelings — and, really, the first step to nurturing your inner child is simply acknowledging that they exist. That means recognising the feelings that pop up in certain situations, especially when you feel triggered or emotionally overwhelmed. Often, these reactions stem from unresolved emotions from your younger years. When you acknowledge these feelings, you’re telling your inner child, “I see you, and what you feel is valid.” This creates a sense of safety and understanding, which is crucial for your emotional healing. Try journaling when you feel intense emotions, or take a moment to pause and reflect when you’re upset and ask yourself, “Where is this coming from? Is this connected to something from my past?” OK, next…

Re-parent yourself — sometimes, nurturing your inner child means stepping into the role of the parent you needed but didn’t have. This involves offering yourself the care, protection, and guidance that you might have lacked in your early years, and it helps because it empowers you to take control of your healing and provide the emotional security that your inner child craves; really, deep down, we all just want to feel safe and loved… so identifying what you needed as a child (like more patience, unconditional love, support, encouragement, etc.) and then give that to yourself in the present moment. Be your own biggest advocate and treat yourself with the love and care you deserved. Next…

Ground yourself — one of the things that can be challenging for many of us who grew up in an environment that either wasn’t stable, or wasn’t safe (or both), is feeling safe and secure as adults… and so, as adults, we need to work extra-hard to create that sense of safety and stability for ourselves, and treat it as a priority — because I can almost guarantee you that even the slightest hint of instability can send your inner child into a bit of a state and make it hard for you to feel safe. You can ground yourself by prioritising your sense of safety and security in all things (removing anything or anyone from your life that makes you feel unsafe), and by using daily affirmations that reinforce your sense of personal safety; there’s a stack of them online, just Google them or I’ll link one that I use daily in the show notes and transcript (which you can grab at ltamh.com — it’s linked in the episode description). OK, next… 

Embrace your emotions — as adults, we often suppress or dismiss our feelings, thinking they’re inconvenient or unnecessary, whereas kids tend to express their emotions much more freely. Nurturing your inner child means allowing yourself to feel your emotions without judgement, which validates your emotional experience and it reminds you that it’s OK to feel vulnerable or upset (which it is!). You can do this by checking in with yourself regularly, especially when you feel a strong emotion, and — instead of pushing it aside — ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now, and why?” Then give yourself permission to feel it fully, and allow it to pass. It’s worth remembering that the more we resist our emotions, the harder they tend to be to let go of. OK, next…

Practice self-compassion — which means showing yourself genuine kindness and understanding, and recognising when you’re being hard on yourself (and then replacing that criticism with gentleness). This helps to reduce feelings of shame and self-blame, which are often carried over from our childhood experiences. Practice this by consciously shifting your inner dialogue; when you catch yourself thinking negative or critical thoughts, reframe them into more supportive ones. For example, instead of thinking, “I’m not good enough,” remind yourself, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.” I talked about reframing in Episode 245 and self-compassion back in Episode 153, so you’ll find those helpful (as well as Episode 247, about how to love yourself more). OK, next…

Challenge negative beliefs from your childhood — many of us carry negative beliefs about ourselves that were formed in childhood, like “I’m not worthy” or “I’m not good enough.” These beliefs can limit your potential and keep you stuck in self-defeating patterns. Nurturing your inner child involves identifying and challenging these beliefs, which breaks the cycle of negative thinking and allows you to create new beliefs (that are much healthier!). Do this by recognising when these types of thoughts come up and consciously replace them with more empowering ones. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I can’t do this,” try reframing it as, “I’m learning, and it’s OK to take things one step at a time.” Next… 

Revisit childhood activities — one of the most powerful ways to reconnect with your inner child is to engage in activities you loved when you were younger; that could be anything from drawing to riding a bike or playing a musical instrument. The reason this works is that it taps into the joy, creativity, and wonder you felt as a child, which can often be buried under the responsibilities of adulthood. By allowing yourself to engage in these activities, you create space for playfulness and freedom. Try setting aside time each week to do something you enjoyed as a child, without worrying about how “productive” it is. Adopt a Pound Puppy. Go and search in a cabbage patch for Cabbage Patch Kids. Have a bubble-blowing marathon, or dance like a maniac in your living room (bonus points if you do it while listening to Maniac by Michael Sembello, from the 80s film Flashdance), or… I don’t know… just be silly when the opportunity strikes. I mean, when was the last time you went down a slide (or a ‘slippery dip’ as we call them)? Have at it! Sure, you might look like a bit of a wally playing in a playground as a fully grown adult… but honestly, who cares?! Feel free to grab a friend (for a bit of safety in numbers) and tear it up on the play equipment (just don’t be shocked when you discover how close the monkey bars are to the ground; they definitely felt a lot higher when I was younger!). OK, next…

Set healthy boundaries — many of our difficulties with boundaries as adults stem from experiences in childhood where our boundaries weren’t respected or acknowledged. Nurturing your inner child means learning to set and enforce healthy boundaries in your adult life, which teaches your inner child that their needs and feelings matter and that it’s OK to say “no” to things that don’t serve you (which it is!). Identify areas in your life where you feel stretched too thin, or taken advantage of, and then practice saying “no” in those situations. Remember, setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s a form of self-respect (and I talked about setting healthy boundaries in Episode 248). Next…

Let go of perfectionism — many of us develop perfectionist tendencies in response to childhood experiences, often as a way of seeking approval or avoiding criticism. Nurturing your inner child involves letting go of the need to be perfect, and embracing your imperfections, which reduces the pressure you place on yourself and allows you to approach life with more self-compassion. You can do this by consciously choosing to accept mistakes or flaws as part of the learning process, rather than seeing them as failures. Celebrate the effort you put in, rather than focusing solely on the outcome. Next…

Embrace your vulnerability — as adults, we often try to hide our vulnerability out of fear of judgement or rejection. Nurturing your inner child means allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and trusting that it’s OK to ask for help when you need it, which fosters deeper connections with others and allows for more authentic relationships. Practice opening up to trusted friends or family members about how you’re feeling, or just simply acknowledge your own vulnerability and accept it as a strength instead of a weakness.

[Final Tips and Next Time]

Because when it comes to nurturing your inner child and your mental health, what it all boils down to is this:

Nurturing your inner child is about reconnecting with your authentic self, offering the kindness and care you may have missed in the past. It’s an emotional journey that builds a stronger foundation for your mental health, leading to greater joy, self-compassion, and emotional freedom. Remember: you deserve the love and care you needed then, and you’re capable of giving it to yourself today.

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:

“Hurt people will hurt people. Healed people will heal people.”

Unknown

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week!

Support my show on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes and more; you’ll find it linked in the episode description.

And let me know, how do you nurture your inner child? If you’re on Spotify you can share in the Comments section below, otherwise let me know on Instagram @ltamentalhealth or comment on the transcript and show notes, which you can have delivered to your inbox each week; sign up at ltamh.com or use the link in the episode description. And for more content follow my other Instagram account @itsjeremygodwin. 

I’ll talk to you next week for a new episode, when I’ll be talking about how to make more informed decisions (and why critical thinking plays a huge role in good mental health). That will be out on October 27; hit ‘follow’ on your podcast service and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world… because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com   

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

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Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2024 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.