It’s time to take back your brain! In this episode we’ll talk about life without social media (or at least with a simple social media detox) and you’ll discover how quitting social media puts you back in control. So, Let’s Talk About Mental Health!

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Episode Overview:

If social media is stealing your peace of mind, it’s time to take it back! Reducing social media use, or quitting social media altogether, will transform your life and lead to better mental health… and in this episode of the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast I’m talking about why (including why phone addiction is harmful) as well as how to quit social media, or at least reduce screen time to healthier levels.

We’ll discuss how cutting back on social media changes your mood and helps your brain, and what’s involved in deleting social media from your life (and yes, social media addiction is a thing and it’s harmful). From understanding what’s involved in a simple social media detox through to the attention traps behind social media platforms that are designed to turn you into profit, this is the episode that will help you take back control of your life from the algorithm so you can feel calmer and more in control. 

And I promise you: quitting Instagram is not the end of the world (I did it and I survived!) 😁

👉 Ready to explore what life without social media (or at least a lot less of it) can feel like? Then let’s talk!

💡 TL;DR: It’s time to take back your brain! In this episode we’ll talk about life without social media (or at least with a simple social media detox) and you’ll discover how quitting social media puts you back in control.

💡 TL;DR: Discover how to take back your brain and stop being controlled by social media algorithms in Episode 304. 🙂

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Episode Transcript:

Quit the scroll and take back control!

Social media is hurting you more than it’s helping… and it’s time to take back control!

This is about living your life on your terms, not an algorithm’s, and choosing to protect your peace. Today I’ll show you how to change your relationship with social media and we’ll talk about a simple path to get there, plus the problems you’ll hit on the way and how to fix them. We have a lot to discuss, so let’s talk about…

Changing your relationship with social media

Hello and welcome back to the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast, your weekly dose of practical advice for better mental health! I’m Jeremy Godwin, and this week I’m talking about why it’s time to take back your control from social media once and for all.

This is not suggesting that you need to vanish into the countryside with nothing but a brick phone to stay in touch. This is about agency. It’s about choice. It’s about deciding who and what gets your headspace and attention, rather than letting a computer program decide for you.

I’m not suggesting that you completely give up the whole thing, but I’m suggesting that you significantly change your relationship with it. We’ll talk about the idea of a full reset through to a strict manual mode, and I’ll talk about what a struggle it was for me to make those changes as well. Plus, we’re going to explore why it has a huge impact on your mental and emotional wellbeing. Then we’ll get practical with some simple steps you can take today to start changing your own relationship with social media.

This is about choosing yourself, and it is about choosing genuine connection over just going along with what everyone else is doing. And it also is about taking back control of the one thing you cannot afford to give away: your mental wellbeing. So let’s dig a bit deeper and let’s talk about…

Why social media affects your mental health

Let’s be completely honest here: most social platforms aren’t built for your wellbeing. They’re built to sell ads and make profits. The ‘social’ was taken out of social media a long time ago, and now the more time you spend on these platforms, the more valuable you are to them. So the machine is focused on keeping you there for longer and longer by rewarding extremes like outrage, novelty, and comparison. And guess what that does to your mental health? Here’s a hint: it ain’t good!

The constant drip, drip, drip of chaos and confusion online doesn’t just affect your mood a little bit, or sap your focus; it shortens your attention span, and it chips away at how you relate to others, and it makes you feel really terrible about yourself. It also leads to stress and anxiety and a lack of connection, and we’re going to talk through all of that stuff. But, you know, you can see it in the little things. It’s that feeling when you pour your heart out to a friend and all you get is a quick ‘ thumbs up’ in reply. That’s not connection; that’s a brush off!

And beyond the way that it makes you feel, we also know from years of solid research that loneliness is on the rise, and that our social wellbeing depends on real, reciprocal contact with other people. Hitting thumbs up does not count! Your nervous system settles when you feel seen and heard and valued, but it doesn’t when all you’re racking up is views and likes.

Now the problem is that all of that stuff, all of the nonsense and shenanigans that you’re exposed to online, will quietly, or not so quietly, tax four parts of you.

First, your attention. So… endless micro switching creates mental residue that follows you into whatever you do next, because you don’t just see something and forget it; it leaves an imprint, an echo, whether you realise it or not. The more that happens, the more that deep focus becomes harder and rest doesn’t feel restful… and the more you catch yourself reaching for the quick hit of dopamine whenever a task feels even slightly uncomfortable… “Nope, don’t want to do this, reach for my phone to distract myself!” If you step away from all that, and from the background hum of noise that’s created by the sheer chaos of social media, then slowly things will settle down and you can gradually learn how to actually sit with a thought again… instead of just letting your brain bounce around like an excited puppy on Go-Go juice.

Secondly, it taxes your emotions. Feeds tend to reward content that spikes your negative emotions because negative emotions are stronger for human beings; things like anger, envy, fear, even smugness. Your nervous system learns to live on these repeated little surges, and so you feel edgy or flat without really knowing why. When you reduce those spikes, your baseline becomes steadier. You’ll have fewer mood swings, your energy becomes more even, and you’ll have calmer evenings because your brain isn’t sitting there waiting for its next fix.

Thirdly, it affects connection. A low-effort reply or an increasing view count might look like it’s an interaction, but those types of things don’t even remotely meet the human needs to be seen, heard, and understood. All of that chips away at courtesy and social skills, and it feeds into loneliness, which research consistently links with poorer mental and physical health. Real two-way contact is what supports better social and mental wellbeing… and algorithms just can’t do that. And frankly, they don’t want to do that… because there isn’t any money to be made out of it! It’s better just to serve you up the same ad 14 times so you can cheer yourself up with a little purchase.

The fourth tax is about your identity and agency. When you post stuff online for approval, you start outsourcing your self-worth to numbers. You know, the feed becomes a mirror that you keep on checking. You drift towards performing what plays rather than living what matters. Choosing life without social media, or significantly reducing your exposure to it, will flip the locus of control back to you. You get to decide who and what gets into your head space, as well as when and why. That’s true empowerment in practice.

Now, as well as those four taxes there’s also a physical cost to factor in. Often we end up scrolling late at night… and poor sleep magnifies anxiety, low mood, and reactivity. Breaking the loop gives your brain time to reset so that your day does not start with you already being on the back foot in terms of your energy. The reason to change your relationship with social media is about protecting your peace. If you want a calmer mind and better relationships and a much clearer sense of self, then your relationship with social media needs to change. So now let’s explore this further and let’s talk about…

What changing your relationship with social media looks like

Let’s be very clear here that at no point am I suggesting that you just completely disappear from your life. This is about changing how you engage with social media so that you’re the one in charge. Because if you just keep using it the way that most people use it, social media is in charge… not you!

Now at one end of the spectrum, there’s the idea of just doing… taking a clean break. It could be permanent, or it could be for at least a month. Simple and straightforward. Delete all the apps off your phone, log out everywhere, and put in place a simple plan for what you’re going to do with the time and attention that you get back.

Now that’s extreme, and that might horrify some people… even if it is just for a month, right?! But you could go the middle approach, which is what I call ‘manual mode’. No feeds, no ‘For You’ pages, no wandering aimlessly through pages and pages of search results. You simply open a platform for a specific purpose and a specific amount of time. So maybe it’s you’re looking up someone that you care about, or you’re sending a thoughtful message, or posting something deliberate and considered. And then once you’re done with whatever the purpose was, you then close that social media app.

Now, at the lighter end of the ‘living without social media’ spectrum is going ‘desktop only’ with scheduled use. So, in other words, your social media access and usage only occurs at a desk during set windows of time using a desktop computer, if you’re able to, not anytime and anywhere using the phone in your pocket.

Now, what does all of that feel like day to day? Quieter. A hell of a lot quieter, actually! First of all, your phone can become a tool again, instead of just this random little slot machine in your pocket that you use to play dopamine roulette. You’ll slowly begin to notice that you can sit with a thought for longer than a few seconds, and your conversations with others have space to breathe… because you’re not half-listening while also scrolling. Courtesy and thoughtfulness will creep back into your interactions. When a friend shares something heavy with you, you’ll call them or send them a voice note rather than double tapping and thinking that you’ve engaged with them. Bit by bit, you replace the ‘keeping up’ illusion with actual connection… you get to put the ‘social’ back into social media, and it becomes a tool that you use consciously instead of just letting it use you.

Practically, all of this is a design choice that you make; as in, designing your life more intentionally. Maybe you just have a couple of short windows each week instead of being almost constantly on, thanks to nonstop notifications. Please turn your notifications off by the way! Reducing social media usage or even living without it entirely doesn’t mean that you have to cut yourself off from the world. It just means opting out of the parts that quietly harm your mental and emotional health. Opting out of the outrage bait, the ‘compare and despair’ loops, the addictive novelty… while also keeping what matters: real contact, useful information, and creative expression on your terms. You start to feel like you’re you again. And once you felt that difference, the question of ‘Should I open the app?’ becomes a whole lot easier to answer.

So how do you do all of that? Well, I’m going to give you a simple path for trying it yourself without feeling cut off right after this quick break…

[AD BREAK]

And welcome back! Now let’s talk about…

How to change your relationship with social media

Alright, so I’m going to first step you through three quick actions you can do this week, and I’d suggest that you focus on one at a time, then I’ll talk you through three longer term changes that you can make bit by bit over time that will have a huge impact. You’ll find the transcript linked in the episode description if you want to follow through on these.

So first though, before we get into any of these, one of the things that you might be worried about is, OK, well, what if I miss out on things or if I feel left out? Just simply tell your circle what your new rule is. You might want to say: I’m off the feed; text, or email me for anything important. And in the event that you do get pushback from others? OK, here’s a simple boundary script that you can use: I’m cutting back because it’s better for my head. If you need me, text or call; I don’t want to miss the stuff that matters. That’s it. Short, practical, and it normalises the change without sounding preachy and without justifying or apologising for your choice… since it’s your choice to make!

OK, so let’s get into those quick actions, and the first one that you can take is…

Do a 30-day attention reset.

This is about taking a straightforward one month break from all social apps so that your brain can settle and reset itself, and you can get some honest data about how you feel without the feed. So think of it as a nervous system reset, rather than some sort of dramatic stunt. The practical bit here is quite simple. Just for 30 days, don’t go on social media! Delete the apps, log out everywhere, and decide in advance what life is going to look like on the other side; you know, earlier I talked about several possible ways to use social media, like using it on desktop only, having allocated short windows each week to use it, or going ‘manual mode’ where you only log on for a specific purpose and you’re in and out like a ninja.

During your 30 days off social media, expect to be a bit twitchy! That’s the habit loop complaining. Habits are habits because they feel comfortable and safe and familiar, and your brain is going to resist. Meet that response with a tiny ‘craving menu’ of two minute swaps: so… step outside, or read one page of a good book, or drink some water, stretch, send a voice note to a friend. Once a day, I would also suggest that you rate your mood and focus out of 10, and then write down just a simple sentence for yourself to describe the quality of your sleep… because, remember, what we’re doing here for 30 days is also collecting proof of what it’s like to not be on social media.

On Day 30, before you even think about going back on, pause and take a look at all of your notes. So if an app doesn’t make your life feel calmer, clearer, or kinder, then it doesn’t come back into your life. If it does, fine: reenter your relationship with it on your terms. Remember: it’s your time… so you get to choose what to do with it.

Alright, so my second quick action is…

Go to manual mode.

Manual mode simply means using social media without feeds, which forces you to be much more intentional. On Instagram, for example, you can set up just to see the people that you follow… that can be helpful. But basically if and when you go on: no feed. But also only have one purpose for going on at a time; get in, one and done. So you simply open the app for one specific reason, you do it, and then you leave.

Wherever possible, use desktop instead of your phone, so that you’re not still in the habit of opening up social media while you’re standing in the checkout waiting to be served. Right?! It’s one of those habit things that we tend to do to waste a bit of time, because it really is a waste of time, but this is about now consciously changing that and being far more intentional.

So, before you click anything, before you even open the app, ask yourself, out loud if you can: why am I opening this? What will I do? How will I know I’m done? If you can’t answer those questions in one clear sentence, don’t open it. When you do go in, set a visible five to 10 minute timer for yourself. Do the one thing, like send the message, check the event details, post the update, and then close it and log out. The ‘one more quick look’ urge will very likely show up, and that’s completely natural; notice it, name it, breathe through it, and honour the timer. Now over a few sessions of doing this, you’ll start to feel the shift from passive consumption to intentional usage, and that’s the whole point here: less algorithm, more you. Remember: you’re in control, not the robots.

OK, so my next quick action is…

Prioritise human-first connection.

This is about consciously moving from feeling like you have to post and perform publicly to prioritising your private presence; fewer posts, more real conversations and connections. So each week, pick three people who genuinely matter and send them something sincere: a short voice note, a photo from your day with a memory attached, or a single thoughtful question. If it’s been a while, suggest that you do something real together, like a call, a walk, or a coffee catch up, and put one date in the diary… and then actually protect it and follow through. Do this for a couple of weeks and see how your social hunger drops because it’s finally being fed properly.

Alright, so those are my three quick actions for you to consider: do a 30 day attention reset, go to ‘manual mode’, and prioritise human-first connection. So let me know which of those three you’re going to focus on over the next seven days. And if you’d like to share, tell me why… I’d love to hear!

So now we’re going to move on to longer-term changes for you to work on that are going to make an enormous difference over time. All three are worthy of your time and energy, and I am going to suggest that you work on all of them a little bit at a time over the coming weeks and months.

So the first longer term change is…

Design for friction.

That simply means making things harder that you want to do less of, and making the good stuff a lot easier. Friction is your friend. It helps you to make the easy thing the healthy thing, so that you aren’t negotiating with yourself all day. You know, for example, just keep social media apps on desktop by default. If you absolutely must have access to them on your phone, hide them in a folder called ‘Not Now’, and turn off notification badges.

Be strict about when you use the apps and why… and when your usage is over, it’s over. You could rebuild your home screen so that it reflects the life you actually want: calendar, notes, camera, reading… but nothing that drags you into a feed or an algorithm. Use focus modes so that quiet is the default, and only essential people and apps get through. That includes muting email notifications; you do not need to know the moment each new email comes in, even at work.

If you manage work social accounts, you can separate them with a different browser profile or device so that your personal life isn’t always ‘on’. You’re also better off using the tools online to manage those accounts than you are to do it on the phone. Over a few weeks, you’ll notice fewer reflex checks, much steadier energy, and you’ll also get that glorious feeling of being back in charge of your own life. Remember: you’re in control of what you do and do not pay attention to.

OK, longer term change number two is…

Curate your inputs.

And I said this one before and it’s just a fancy way of saying watch what you consume, as well as what you allow into your life. This is about having a deliberate and considered content diet instead of just letting what you consume be decided for you by algorithms. Choose fewer sources, but higher quality. Set a follow cap for yourself on social platforms; so, for example, no more than 50 accounts, and make it one in one out so you’re forced to curate… if you follow a new account, you have to delete one.

Run a simple ‘cost of admission’ test every quarter: what is this platform costing me in terms of my time, my sleep, my mood, and my self respect? Whatever the cost is, if you wouldn’t pay that in cash then don’t pay it in your wellbeing! I’d also suggest doing things like moving creators that you truly value over to slower channels like email newsletters or RSS so you can just read once a week in calm, not in the chaos of a feed. Keep an ‘output before input’ rule: so if you must open an app, send one thoughtful message first and then leave. And finally, whitelist a handful of topics for yourself that are positive and which actually nourish you, and then mute the rest. Remember: your inputs shape you, so choose the ones that pay you back in peace of mind and clarity.

OK, and then my next longer term change is…

Live by the mood meter.

The ‘mood meter’ is a tiny check-in you can do anywhere, anytime, that puts you back in the driver’s seat. Before you use a social media platform of any type, rate your mood out of 10. Halfway through using it, check again. If your score drops by even one point, stop using the app. Close it, take at least one minute to reset yourself… so you can drink some water, do a couple of stretches, breathe, read a page of a book, step outside… and then choose what you’re going to do next, on purpose.

I also suggest keeping a simple two column note for yourself in your phone: on one side, ‘what lifts me up?’ And on the other side, ‘what drains me?’ And once a week, just go and update it with your experiences of each. The thing here is that patterns don’t lie, like I said last week in Episode 303, and they make the next decision a lot easier. The mood meter, and prioritising your mood, teaches you to trust your internal signals again, which is exactly what the feed is dulling in the first place. Remember: listen to your needs, not to the feed’s.

Final tips/conclusion

Here’s the thing: you’re in control of what you will and won’t accept in your life, and if something is doing you harm, then it’s time to make different choices… even if they’re uncomfortable at first.

When you step away from social media, or switch over to strict manual mode or less usage, you begin to take back your attention, steady your mood, and make space for real connection. That’s agency, and that’s how you choose your peace of mind over the scroll. Because when you boil it all down, social media should serve your life… not run it!

Each week, I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by the French philosopher Simone Weil and it is…

Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.

Simone Weil

Let me repeat that.

Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.

Alright… that’s it for this week!

Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world… because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

If this helped, check out my episode about peace of mind next; it’s linked on screen and in the description. And follow or subscribe for new episodes every Sunday.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program. Discover more at ltamh.com.

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Find more content at www.ltamh.com

Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2025 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.