Protecting your peace helps you manage burnout and avoid having a breakdown… because prevention is a lot better than recovery. Discover why, and how to do it, in this week’s episode. So, Let’s Talk About Mental Health!

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Episode Transcript:

How your mindset shapes your reality

Most people don’t realise they’re heading for a breakdown until it’s too late.

My breakdown was the worst thing that ever happened to me… and also, the best.

It was a total horror show, but it also taught me lessons I wish I’d have learned years earlier.

So if you’re struggling, but you keep on pretending that you’re fine, one day your mind and body will force you to stop… and it won’t be pretty!

Today I’m sharing the lessons I learned the hard way; not to scare you or tell war stories, but to help you protect your peace and save yourself years of struggle.

So, let’s talk about… how to avoid a breakdown.

Hello and welcome back to the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast, and your weekly dose of practical advice for better mental health! I’m Jeremy Godwin, and this week I’m talking about the things you need to know and do to avoid a breakdown. Because whether you’re trying to avoid falling apart, or if you’re picking yourself up after a breakdown or a rough patch, the lessons are the same… and they can change everything about how you look after your mental health.

Now… if you’re a regular here, then you’ll know I usually follow a fairly clear structure: what something is, why it matters, and how to deal with it. But today is different. It’s Episode 300… which totally blows my mind! And I wanted to mark it by doing less of a ‘step by step’ guide and more of a conversation: me sharing the cold hard truths my own breakdown forced me to face, and inviting you to see which ones might help you through any challenges you’re currently facing. So if you’ve been struggling to hold it together, or you just don’t want to end up where I did, then the lessons I’m about to share will help you protect your peace, avoid years of unnecessary struggle, and maybe even change the way you think about your mental health.

Before we start, I just want to say a massive thank you. Like I said, this is Episode 300, which means it’s been almost six years that I’ve been talking with all of you every week in the podcast… and I honestly cannot put into words how grateful I am that you’ve been part of this journey. I feel so lucky that I get to do work I absolutely love; work that not only feeds my soul, but that also helps people… and that’s not something I take for granted at all. I am eternally thankful for the opportunity to keep on showing up week after week. So, from the bottom of my heart: thank you!

Now, with all that said, let’s get into what you actually came for: the lessons. The first one is a big one, because it’s the one that underpins everything else I’m about to share…

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

You know that saying, ‘time heals all wounds’? Yeah… that’s rubbish! Time doesn’t heal much at all if you keep doing the same things that you’ve always done, and that was one of the hardest truths I had to face after my breakdown; I kept waiting for life to magically improve and for my trauma to disappear… but all that happened was more waiting. I’d tell myself, “If I’ll just give this a bit longer, I won’t feel so miserable about all the horrible stuff that I’ve experienced.” But, spoiler alert: I still did.

And so I ended up turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms to try and block it all out: drinking too much, shopping too much, eating too much. What I actually ended up doing with all of that was staying stuck, and I think that’s where a lot of us trip up; we hope that things will change without us having to change… but hope isn’t a strategy.

What I eventually learned the hard way is that taking action, even the tiniest of actions, can start to shift the whole direction of your life: making a phone call I’d been putting off, going to see the doctor and telling him what I was going through even when my brain screamed at me to stay inside where it was safe, talking honestly with my partner instead of hiding how bad things were. None of those things fixed everything for me overnight, but every little step was like a tiny crack in the wall that had been keeping me trapped.

So if you’re thinking, “Yeah, but I don’t know where to start for my situation,” then just start small. Do one thing differently today. Write down what’s been circling in your head. Have that conversation you’ve been avoiding. Even just open the windows and let some fresh air in. It doesn’t need to be anything massive… it just needs to be different. Because nothing changes if nothing changes. And the good news is… you get to decide where and how the change begins.

But you’ll also find that if you don’t deal with the stuff that’s driving your pain, those small actions won’t take you very far. Which brings us to the next lesson…

You can’t ignore your past.

One of the hardest truths I’ve learned in life is this: you can’t outrun your past, no matter how hard you try. You can certainly give it a go. Trust me, I did! You could bury it, distract yourself from it, stay busy, pretend it never happened. But the thing about trauma is that it doesn’t disappear. It just waits. It sits inside you and bubbles away like a pressure cooker, and eventually it finds a way to force itself out… usually at the worst possible moment.

When I had my breakdown, all the stuff I’d been ignoring for years, for decades, came crashing down on top of me all at once: family trauma, job issues, identity struggles, things that I’d thought I’d locked away and moved on from.

Except I hadn’t really moved on.

All I’d done was to shove it all into an overstuffed cupboard in my mind and slammed the door shut. When the stress and anxiety of my life reached boiling point, that cupboard burst wide open… and it was chaos.

The good news is that facing your past doesn’t mean drowning in it. It means gently unpacking it, piece by piece, with compassion. It means saying, “Yes, this happened to me. Yes, it hurt. And yes, I survived it.” Sometimes that’s best done with professional support. Sometimes it’s journaling. Sometimes it’s having an honest conversation with someone you trust. The point is ignoring it isn’t the answer, because that’s what keeps you stuck… and facing it is what frees you.

So maybe this is your sign to stop running; to stop shoving things away in your cupboard. It doesn’t make you weak to look at your pain and to acknowledge it. It makes you brave, incredibly brave. And it also makes you smart. Because when you face it and deal with it, you take away its power to control you.

The other thing that happens when you start facing your past is actually something quite unexpected… you realise how little you actually need to be OK. And that’s the next lesson…

Strip life back to what matters.

When everything fell apart, I went from a six figure salary to almost nothing; no savings, huge debt, and a brain that could barely get me out of bed. It was brutal. But once the dust settled, I realised most of what I’d called ‘essential’ was just noise; the gadgets, the clothes, the travel, the constantly buying stuff to feel successful… none of it helped me through a single tough night.

What did? Well… it was small, grounding things: a decent coffee, a simple meal, a quiet chat with someone who cared. That period taught me that happiness comes less from adding and more from stripping back until only the real things remain. Because the uncomfortable truth is that a breakdown is ruthless about priorities. Status, opinions, ‘busy work’… they all crumble. But love, health, peace, presence: they’re what lasts. Most of us pour energy into the first list and hope the second will just take care of itself. But it doesn’t.

So, take stock. If a habit, a commitment, or a connection is draining you, then ask yourself why you’re still tolerating it. If a practice consistently steadies you, then focus more on it. Your energy is finite, so spend it on what matters. When life feels the hardest, the essentials are what carry you through… and everything else is just decoration.

And when you do focus on what really matters, something else happens: you start to see yourself differently, which is the next lesson…

Let yourself evolve and choose the next chapter.

One of the scariest parts of my breakdown wasn’t the panic attacks. It was realising I wasn’t the person I’d been before. My old identity… you know, job titles, achievements, the mask I’d worked so hard to create… all of that collapsed along with everything else. For a while, I mourned that version of me. I even tried to get back to that version of me; I wanted to go back to the corporate sector. But then I noticed something underneath the rubble, which was the quieter parts of myself that I’d been ignoring; the parts that wanted to find genuine, real meaning in life.

We cling to old versions of ourselves long after they stop fitting. We think, “That’s just who I am!” even as life keeps on proving otherwise. But every hard season reshapes you, and fighting that evolution makes you feel broken… when, in truth, you’re actually growing.

The great thing is that your past does shape you, but it doesn’t have to write the next chapter. If you get still enough to listen, your heart will tell you what’s true for you. Brains will loop, and egos will posture, but our hearts know the truth. And listening to your heart changes everything.

And this isn’t about ditching logic; this is about being in alignment, and making sure that your choices are aligned with who you are now and who you want to be, not who you were trained to be in the past. So, ask yourself: If this is my story, what chapter am I in? And what do I want the next chapter to say? Maybe it’s about setting small lines, like boundaries or a conversation or a new routine. Or maybe it’s having a complete plot twist: a different job, a different pace of life, a different way of being. Whatever it is… let it be. Because losing who you thought you were isn’t failure; it’s an opportunity, and it’s how you make space for who you’re becoming.

However, there is a catch. When you change, the people around you don’t always change with you, and that’s why the next lesson is such a hard one…

When you change, your relationships change.

This was definitely one of the most painful lessons for me to learn: not every relationship survives your healing, and not every relationship is meant to. For me, a lot of my friendships were built on a version of me that no longer existed. So when I stopped being ‘the fun guy’… you know, no nights out, being more quiet… some people drifted away. Some people disappeared entirely. It hurt, and I blamed myself. But later I saw it differently.

Relationships are living things: some grow with you, some simply finish their chapter in your story. The danger is trying to force yourself back into old dynamics so that you don’t lose people. You have to be willing to let go, because otherwise you’re keeping yourself small. The right relationships will adapt, even if it’s awkward. The others will fade. And that’s sad, but it’s OK. Grieve what was, be grateful for what it gave you, and make space for new connections that fit who you are now.

And as painful as that can be, it does teach you something incredibly crucial. And that’s my next lesson…

You can only ever control yourself.

One of the most exhausting parts of my breakdown was just how much energy I wasted trying to change things that I had no power over: other people, their behaviour, situations that were out of my hands, even the past; I replayed parts of it endlessly, as if wishing hard enough could somehow rewrite what had already happened. But all it did was drain me and convince me that I was failing. Because no matter how hard I tried, nothing changed.

But the turning point came when I started to realise and really accept that the only thing I can truly control is me: my choices, my words, my actions. That’s it. And honestly, that was both terrifying and freeing. Terrifying because it meant I couldn’t just sit back and hope someone else would fix it for me, or that things would just magically fix themselves. But freeing because it meant I didn’t have to keep fighting these impossible battles anymore.

And here’s why this matters for you: when you focus on what you can’t control, you’re handing over your power. You stay stuck in frustration, or disappointment, or resentment. But when you put your energy into what is within your control, like how you respond to things, how you set boundaries, how you take care of yourself, who has access to you and what that access looks and feels like, that’s when everything starts to shift. It might not change the world around you overnight, but it does change how you move through it… and that’s huge. Actually, it’s everything.

For me, that looked like acknowledging that I couldn’t un-know what I now knew. It looked like setting small boundaries that I’d never dared to before. Saying no when my body and mind were screaming for rest, even if it disappointed people. Being honest with my partner about what I was struggling with, instead of just bottling it up. Choosing to tell my doctor what was really happening, instead of just convincing myself that I’ll get better on my own. None of these things fixed my depression instantly, but they gave me back a sense of agency when I felt completely powerless.

So if you’re stuck trying to control things outside yourself, take a step back and ask, what’s one thing I can actually do today with the energy I have? Start there. You don’t need to fix everything. You just need to reclaim your power in small, tangible ways. Because when you stop fighting battles that you can’t win, that’s when you finally have the strength to win the ones that truly matter.

And after this quick break, we’ll explore the next lesson…

[AD BREAK]

Welcome back!

 Once you stop wasting energy on things outside of yourself, you also start to see an even bigger truth, and that’s the next lesson…

Change is inevitable, but growth is optional.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: life is going to change, whether you like it or not. People leave, jobs end, bodies get sick, circumstances shift, and breakdowns happen. You don’t get a choice in most of that. What you do get a choice in is how you respond… and that’s where growth comes in.

When my breakdown hit it felt like my life had ended; my career was gone, my finances were wrecked, my confidence was shattered. For a long time, all I could see was the rubble. I thought, “Well, this is it, this is who I am now, I’m broken.” But slowly, and I mean slowly, I started to realise that while the breakdown wasn’t exactly optional, the way I rebuilt myself afterwards most definitely was. I could either sit in that rubble and feel sorry for myself, or I could use it as the foundation for building something new.

That’s the thing about pain: it changes you. Sometimes it hardens you, and sometimes it cracks you open. And that part is your choice. You can let it drag you down into bitterness and despair… or you can let it teach you, soften you, grow you. Without my breakdown, I wouldn’t be here talking to you every week. I wouldn’t have found this path. I’d probably still be stuck in a career I hated, wondering why my life felt so empty.

It doesn’t mean that I’d ever choose to go through it again; I’m not mad! But I wouldn’t undo it either, because of where it led me. So if you’re going through something right now that feels unbearable, know this: you don’t have to see the growth yet. You don’t have to be grateful for the pain while you’re in it, because that’s just not realistic… but you do have a choice about how you’re going to use it later.

Crisis is not the end of your story, but it can be the start of a new chapter. And growth doesn’t always look like these big, massive transformations. Sometimes it’s as simple as choosing not to give up today. Change will come whether you want it to or not… but growth? That’s up to you.

And when you do choose growth, even in tiny, hesitant steps, you start to see that the worst thing that ever happened to you can also be the thing that makes you. It also gives you something priceless, which brings me to my next lesson…

One day at a time, one step at a time.

If there’s one lesson that my recovery hammered into me over and over again, it’s this: you cannot rush healing. And believe me, I tried. I wanted to get back to ‘normal’, whatever that is, as quickly as possible. I wanted the anxiety gone, the depression lifted, the panic attacks erased… but you can’t sprint your way through this stuff.

Healing takes the time it takes, and often that’s much longer than you want it to be. At first, I fought it. I’d tell myself, “By next month I’ll be better.” Then it was, “By next year, this will all be behind me.” And every time one of those milestones passed and I was still struggling, I’d sink deeper into shame. I thought I was failing because I wasn’t getting better fast enough.

But eventually I realised recovery doesn’t work like that. It isn’t a straight line. It’s messy. It’s up and down, forward and back, all over the place. Some days you feel like you’ve made progress, and the next day you feel like you’re right back where you started. And that’s not failure. That’s just how healing works.

The turning point for me came when I stopped trying to measure everything in months or years and started focusing on days. What do I need to do to get through today? How can I take one step, however small, that moves me forward? Sometimes that single step was brushing my teeth, or opening the curtains; other days it was reaching out to a friend or going for a short walk or tackling one small piece of work. The point was not how big the step was. The point was that I took it.

This matters because when you look too far ahead, you overwhelm yourself; the mountain feels huge and impossible to climb. But when you break it down into one day and one step, it becomes genuinely manageable. And if you string enough of those days together, one day you will look back and you’ll realise that you’ve climbed further and higher than you ever thought possible.

So if you’re in the middle of it right now, stop asking yourself when you’re going to be fixed. Instead, ask, what’s one step I can take today? No matter how small. Just one. That’s enough. And tomorrow, ask the same question again. Because healing doesn’t happen all at once. It happens one step at a time… one choice at a time… and one messy, imperfect day at a time.

If you can keep showing up for yourself one day at a time, you eventually start to see real progress. But to hold onto that progress, you need one final lesson, and it’s the bonus lesson that ties all of this together…

Protect your peace like your life depends on it.

Because, quite frankly, it does. I don’t say that lightly. I really mean it. Your peace of mind is not some ‘nice to have’ thing for when life is easy… it’s survival. Without peace, everything becomes harder. Your health suffers, your relationships fracture, your ability to cope crumbles. With peace of mind, even the hardest challenges become more manageable.

My breakdown taught me this in the toughest way possible. I had spent years sacrificing my peace of mind for work, for other people’s expectations, for the constant pressure to be more and do more. I told myself that that was all normal, and of course I could handle it… even though I was constantly getting sick and had days when I could barely function. And then eventually my body and my mind teamed up to say, “Uh, no, you can’t do this anymore.” They pulled the emergency brake and then refused to cooperate anymore, and the cost was huge.

Protecting your peace of mind isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. It’s self preservation. It’s about setting boundaries even when it feels uncomfortable, pushing back, saying no to things that drain you without apology, walking away from relationships or situations that consistently harm you… no matter how much history you share. And it’s also about building daily practices that keep you grounded, whether that’s movement, rest, meditation, laughter, or simply giving yourself permission to slow down.

And here’s why this is so important: because nobody else is going to do this for you. The world will take as much as you’re willing to give. Work will pile on more. Family will make more demands. Friends will lean in more. And life will keep on coming. Protecting your peace is your responsibility, because nobody knows your limits better than you do. So… remember that protecting your peace isn’t optional; it’s the foundation for everything else. Guard it like your life depends on it. And once you start doing that, you’ll notice how everything else begins to shift. Not overnight, and not perfectly… but enough to remind you that peace is possible, even in the middle of chaos.

So there you have it. The lessons my breakdown taught me. They weren’t easy. In fact, most of them were painful, messy, and came at a huge cost. But they’re also the reason I’m still here, and they’re the reason I get to sit down with you every week and talk about better mental health and protecting your peace.

Now, maybe not all of those lessons will land or resonate with you today, and that’s OK. My hope is that at least one of them sticks. One truth that you can carry into your week. One reminder that helps you to make a different choice. Or just simply one little nudge that makes you feel less alone. Because whether you’re trying to avoid a breakdown, or rebuild after one, you don’t have to do things perfectly. You just have to keep showing up for yourself one day at a time. The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing. So… what choice will you make today?

Each week, I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by Desmond Tutu, and it is…

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.

Desmond Tutu

Let me repeat that.

Hope Is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

Sign up for my weekly newsletter at ltamh.com and support me on Patreon for early access to ad-free extended episodes. They’re both linked in the description.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world… because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time! 

You’ll also find my episode about being more present helpful. It’s linked in the description.

Next week I’ll be talking about getting out of your own way. Follow or subscribe to never miss an episode, and have a great week!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program. Discover more at ltamh.com.

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Find more content at www.ltamh.com

Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2025 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.