If your thoughts are running the show, it’s time to take back control… because when you change your mindset, you change your life. So, Let’s Talk About Mental Health!

---

Jump into the episode (or scroll down for transcript):

Apple Podcasts | Find it on other platforms

---

Episode Transcript:

How your mindset shapes your reality

You don’t control every fact of life… but you do control the story you tell yourself about it.

That story becomes your default way of looking at things… which sets your stress levels, shapes your choices, and decides whether you stay stuck or move forward.

But you don’t have to believe everything you think… because your mindset, and the way you view the world, is entirely up to you.

If you want to change your life, then you need to change your mindset. And today we’re talking about how to do exactly that.

So let’s talk about changing your mindset!

Hello and welcome back to the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast, and your weekly dose of practical advice for better mental health. I’m Jeremy Godwin, and this week I’m talking about how your mindset shapes your reality.

And here’s what I mean by that. Mindset is simply the story that you keep telling yourself on repeat. It’s your default mode. And when that story is harsh, or panicked, your nervous system reacts; your thinking narrows, and your brain treats ordinary hassles like they’re massive emergencies, and you tend to make choices that keep you stuck.

When the story you tell yourself is kinder and more grounded, that’s when everything shifts. Your body settles. You start to see options instead of just problems. And you take smarter next steps.

Now, to be clear, I’m not talking about just pretending you’re fine, or slapping on a veneer of positivity… I’m talking about completely changing how you experience what’s happening so that you can respond with steadiness instead of just reacting from habit.

In this episode, I’m going to show you a clear and practical way to do that. You’ll learn how to notice unhelpful patterns in real time so you can swap them out for more balanced perspectives, and we’ll explore the levers that you control in your life, like your choices, your boundaries, and your values, so that your mindset becomes steadier over time. Plus, you’ll discover simple and effective ways to choose a calmer approach that you can actually live with. So if you’re ready to build a mindset that helps to protect your peace, then you’re in the right place!

So, let’s first talk about…

What is mindset?

So, your mindset is the story you tell yourself about life. It’s about what’s happening now, what happened in the past, what may or may not happen in the future, and it’s also what you tell yourself about yourself, about other people, and about the world around you. Mindset forms through repetition and by what you feed it, like your values, what you consume, and the environment that you set up for yourself.

Your inner narrator notices something, explains it, and then decides what it means; if you repeat the same explanation for something often enough, it starts to feel like it’s the absolute truth… rather than just your take on something. Mindset is a set of stories that get repeated just so often in your mind that they become your default way of looking at things and looking at the world… and it’s very often also your default mode of reacting to things. It’s quick, familiar and instinctive, and it’s usually biased towards danger or self-criticism.

Now, this is where the idea of “don’t believe your first thought” comes in… because first thoughts are rough drafts: they’re generally rushed, often incredibly dramatic, and very frequently wrong. There’s a good reason why I never put out an episode of this show based solely on the first draft; it would be absolute chaos!

Now, I talk a lot about reacting versus responding in this podcast, and that’s because one of them, reacting, is about operating on pure instincts and pure emotion… whereas ‘responding’ is about consciously choosing to take a moment to balance your emotions with logical, rational thoughts. It’s kind of like the difference between storming off versus taking a breath and deciding whether or not you really want that moment replayed over and over again.

When you run on pure emotion, your mind doesn’t tend to be that great at being fair and balanced. Look, let’s just be honest here: nine times out of 10, your brain is going to fixate on the worst case scenario, and it’s most likely going to decide that you’d definitely be safer if you were to just run screaming for the hills.

But those types of panicked thoughts, or the harsh and judgmental thoughts, they aren’t necessarily realistic or grounded in reality… and they most definitely are not going to be fair and balanced. And these days we’re almost trained to jump to conclusions: news services and social media algorithms reward quick responses and, often, based on outrage and comparison, not to mention drama… so your focus is constantly being pulled to whatever’s most alarming or attention grabbing.

Now, if you don’t catch yourself when that happens, your default story starts to lean more and more negative; your mind goes, “Oh, well, that’s another example of the world being complete and utter rubbish, and being a total dumpster fire.” And when that happens, your stress rises and ordinary life begins to feel like it’s just crisis after crisis after crisis.

Now, I mean, that doesn’t mean that it’s not; let’s be honest, the world is a hot mess… but it’s not just a hot mess. There’s more to the world than just the shenanigans and chaos and horrible crap that continues to go on.

Reacting in that kind of way though doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you. What it means is that your narrator needs a bit of steadying, because it’s really very easy for your mind to dominate into a constant ‘worst case scenario’ kind of mindset. And if that’s left unchecked, well… it can be as theatrical as a soap opera cliffhanger: all gasps and dramatic music, but with very little subtlety! And the good news is that calming your narrator is a skill that you can learn, and we’ll discuss how in a few moments.

Mindset is really about how you experience what’s happening both within you and around you, and working on your mindset helps you to respond to those things with steadiness… instead of just reacting from a place of habit.

In short: your mindset is the story you live by. It sits at the heart of better mental health because it moulds your stress levels, guides your choices, determines whether or not you stay stuck or move forward. Because stories are made of words and actions, you can change yours; kindly, honestly, and one small step at a time. We’re going to talk about how to do that shortly. But first, let’s talk about…

Why your mindset matters

And, to be blunt, it matters because the story you tell yourself isn’t just some sort of fluffy talk in your mind; it’s the engine behind everything. It shapes your feelings, your moods, your stress, your choices, your outlook on life, and your sense of what’s possible… as well as what isn’t. That story becomes your default mode of being and of reacting, and default mode runs fast; it just comes out of nowhere.

When it’s harsh or panicked, your perspective shrinks: you see fewer options, and you focus and brace for the worst, and you reach for quick relief that often ends up making things far worse. But when the story you tell yourself, or the interpretation that you take, is gentler and kinder, your nervous system settles, you think more clearly, and you take small actions that actually help. Same circumstances, profoundly different experience.

And that’s better mental health in practice. It’s not about pretending that you’re fine, but reading life more fairly so you can respond in a stable and grounded way. Your body believes the stories that you repeat to yourself. So a catastrophic line like, “I’ve blown it!” or “Everybody hates me!”… that doesn’t just live in your head; it floods your system and it narrows your attention, and it pushes you towards unhelpful habits like snapping, or people pleasing, or numbing out.

A much fairer line, like “That was uncomfortable,” or, “It’s OK, I can clean this up”… that lowers the physiological alarm, and it gives you back perspective as well as creating space for identifying some more constructive next steps you can take. Because you know what? No matter how much you panic, that’s not actually going to fix anything. So we want to be able to look at things far more objectively and constructively. This is about balancing emotions with logic… and over time, those steps add up to create massive results.

And this is precisely why changing your mindset, and the story you tell yourself, is a really important mental health intervention. It reduces unnecessary stress, improves emotional regulation, and makes it so much easier to do the basics that keep you well, like sleep, food, movement, and connection.

There’s also a piece here about wiring. Your brain is biased towards threat and comparison; something that was incredibly useful for us when we had to survive in the wild, but it’s fairly unhelpful these days when it just comes to office emails and family chats. But then when you add in all the modern crap that we have to put up with day in and day out, like never-ending headlines full of outrage, social media feeds bursting at the seams with drama, ads, attention seeking behaviour, plus the shenanigans and nonsense and posturing of politicians, and the constant ‘ding, ding, ding’ of notifications if you haven’t yet turned them off… honestly, it’s no wonder that our default mode becomes harsher and harsher by the week!

And old stories pile on top of that as well; beliefs that we absorbed in childhood, or through past relationships, like, “Well, if I’m not perfect, then I’m not safe”… they all light up when you’re tired or triggered. Now, none of that means that there’s anything wrong with you. It just means that you’re human. But it also means that if you don’t consciously work on your mindset and do what needs to be done to change that default story, then the story will work on you… quietly shaping your moods, your relationships, and your sense of worth.

Changing the story you tell yourself rebuilds your self-trust, which is the absolute bedrock of better mental health. You know… when you shift from, “Well, I always stuff it up!” to “I can make one repair at a time”… that’s enormous! And then when you follow through on that, you begin to experience yourself as someone who can act. That experience matters so much more than any pep talk I can give you. It’s how boundaries get easier, how rumination loses its grip on you, how you stop overthinking everything and anything. And it’s how you stop outsourcing your peace of mind to everyone else’s behaviour.

You won’t control everything that happens. You never will. But you will control how you meet whatever comes your way… and that difference shows up in calmer conversations, cleaner decisions, and the quiet pride of doing what you said you would do.

There is a cost to not doing this type of work. It looks like losing hours and hours to spirals, saying yes when you actually mean no, avoiding the email until it becomes a crisis, or doom-scrolling at midnight and calling it ‘unwinding’. It looks like tension headaches and shallow sleep, and a nagging sense that life is happening to you rather than you living your life.

The good news is that you don’t need a personality transplant to change it. What you need is a repeatable way to steady your narrator, to reset your default mode, and to take tiny actions that move you forward. Small changes repeated often will shift your baseline… and that’s how you get out of your own way and start turning things around.

So why does your mindset matter? Well, it’s pretty simple: your mindset… you know, the story that you tell yourself on repeat… is the part of your mental health that you can influence every single day. Change the story and everything changes. But nothing changes if nothing changes. When you do the work, you’ll feel the difference quickly: a clearer head, kinder self-talk, fewer flare-ups, and much more follow through. And right after this quick break, we’ll explore the tools to do exactly that!

[AD BREAK]

And welcome back!

So now let’s get into the how to part of this episode, and let’s talk about…

How to change your mindset

Alright, so we’re going to talk through a bunch of practical ways to change the story you tell yourself so that your mindset becomes steadier, kinder, and more accurate… even on tough days. We’re focusing on choice and agency here: simple, repeatable ways to train the way you see yourself and other people, as well as what’s happening around you. Again, this is not about pretending that you’re fine; it’s about learning to notice when you slip into default mode and choosing a fairer read of the situation instead, and then backing up that choice with small actions so that it sticks and so that it protects your peace. Because when you change your mindset, over time you change your life.

Two general rules upfront: ‘state before story‘ and ‘behaviour backs belief’. So here’s what I mean by that. When you’re tired, hungry, lonely, overstimulated, whatever, your first thought will generally skew a lot harsher than if you’re in a good headspace. So instead of just reacting, do a 30 second reset: breathe, have some water, let your shoulders down, stand up for a bit and stretch, step outside, text someone kind… whatever you do, take that time, and after that then revisit the situation or the story. So this is really about addressing your state before you even think about dealing with the story, which often changes how you see things.

And then the other thing I said was ‘behaviour backs belief’. And that just simply means that what you do shapes your beliefs, and what you repeat sticks… so each time you choose to take your time and respond thoughtfully, you’ll also find that your brain begins to update your ‘default mode’ reaction bit by bit; the more you do it, the more it gets reinforced.

OK, so my next tip is…

Build your foundation. A steady mind sits on a steady body… so when your sleep, or quality of eating, or movement, or human contact drop, your outlook on life tends to start skewing more and more negative, and everything just feels harder. So, pick minimums that you’ll keep even on days where you feel like rubbish: a regular bedtime window, one proper meal, 10 minutes of movement like taking a walk, and one real check in with someone kind. And then, protect those like they’re medication; they make every other mindset skill easier, because then your system isn’t just running on fumes. Next…

Choose your compass. Your mindset often wobbles when you don’t know what you stand for, so remind yourself every day to create a compass. Choose three values, like kindness, honesty, and courage, and give yourself a tiny bit of proof for each of them before 10 AM daily: send a kind message, have an honest chat, take a five minute walk even if you don’t feel like going anywhere. Values settle your choices and tone down second guessing… and so repeating these ‘micro proofs’ every morning creates a compass for you, and it trains your mind to see yourself as someone who is consistent and capable. Next…

Be deliberate about what you’re exposed to. Your mind repeats what you feed it, so design an ‘attention diet’: limit news to a set time, unfollow doom-focused accounts, add two nourishing sources into your weekly rotation… in other words, focus on learners, helpers, and evidence-based voices… and set notification ‘office hours’ where you switch off notifications outside of those hours so that your attention isn’t constantly being hijacked. You’ll find that calmer inputs equals calmer interpretations equals calmer and kinder decisions. Next…

Build simple boundaries. Peace doesn’t just happen; it needs rules and frameworks, and it requires you to be clear on what you will accept versus what you won’t. Decide on a few easy rules for yourself that protect your energy like no work emails after 7:00 PM, or keeping your phone out of the bedroom, or only looking at one screen at a time. And also keep three phrases handy for tricky moments: “I’m not available for that,” “Let’s park this,” and “I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” Boundaries stop other people’s chaos from writing your story for you. Let’s be real here: some people’s shenanigans and plot twists are better kept out of your story altogether. If you let everyone else’s chaos set the tone of your life, it’s basically like handing over the aux cord at a party and then getting stuck with Nickelback on loop. Remember: every time you set a boundary and stick to it, you’re reinforcing the mindset that your peace matters… which it does! Next…

Shape your identity. Mindset and identity go hand in hand. So, who are you? And more importantly, who do you want to become? Because we’re always changing and evolving whether we realise it or not, and so it’s up to you to decide whether or not you’re going to just be swept along with everything that goes on around you, or if you want to take control and create a life for yourself that’s much more aligned with your hopes, dreams, and values. Try saying to yourself, “I’m the kind of person who…” and then finish the sentence with one thing that’s aligned to who you want to be moving forward. So for example, maybe it’s, “I’m the kind of person who keeps small promises for myself” or “Who asks for clarity if I’m unsure” or “Who rests before I’m totally wrecked” or something else that fits for you. Then pick one tiny daily habit that you can adopt that will serve to prove that statement to yourself: set a two minute ‘tidy timer’, ask one clarifying question per meeting, or have a quick lie down for five or 10 minutes every day at 3:00 PM so that you can rest and recharge. Proof beats pep talks or vague ideas of what you want to do, and these types of little actions reshape how you see yourself over time. Next…

Make meaning, not worst case scenarios. Our brains usually rush to explain things… and it’s often unkind when it does it. So at least once a week, give yourself five quiet minutes to journal. What happened? What did I make it mean? What else could it possibly mean? What’s one fair line about the situation that I’ll carry forward with me? This is about learning and reframing, not sugarcoating, so you’re choosing accuracy over drama, which keeps your mindset grounded. Next…

Practice cleaner decisions. Overthinking wrecks your peace of mind. So… use a simple rule like the ‘Tomorrow Me’ test, where you consider, will I thank myself for this tomorrow? Or the 5, 5, 5 test: how much will this matter in five days? Five weeks? Five months? Set a specific amount of thinking time for problems, like 10 minutes, and then either decide on a course of action or, if it’s a bigger issue, focus purely on solutions. If you’re still stuck, take the smallest reversible step, and then review what happens. Clear decisions reduce rumination… and the less rumination you do, it… the more it means that you’re able to free up headspace to focus on, funnily enough, what really matters! Next…

Measure what you value, not what you can’t control. If you track the wrong things in your life, your mindset will always feel behind. Create a small ‘scoreboard’ for yourself to capture the stuff that actually matters: effort, boundaries kept, kindness shown, minutes spent focused on important things… instead of all the stuff that doesn’t mean anything, like ‘likes’ or how fast you did something. Tick what you did, not what others did. And each tick is a reality check against the harsh story that your inner critic likes to focus on, and it’s a strong nudge towards feeling more proud of what you do. Next…

Choose a steady circle for yourself. Mindset is contagious, so write down three steady people you can reality check with… and do so regularly. You’ll also find it helpful to tell them what helps you; so, for example, “If I panic, please ask me what the facts are and what I can do.” Also, consciously spend less time with drama-seekers and permanent chaos-spreaders. Borrowing steadiness from others if and when you need it isn’t weakness; it’s actually wise… and it keeps your story from being pulled to extremes by chaotic or negative people. Next…

Do challenging things deliberately. Confidence grows when you do hard things on purpose. So pick one small, courageous thing a week, like speaking up in a meeting, doing the thing you’ve been putting off, booking that doctor’s appointment you’ve been avoiding… yes, I’m looking at you! Afterwards, though, take a moment to just reflect and name what went better than expected, as well as what you’ll try differently next time. These really simple, tiny actions serve to expand your sense of what’s possible, and that then shifts your baseline mindset from, “I can’t,” to, “I’m learning.” 

Final mental health tips

Here’s the thing.

You don’t control every fact of life, but you do control your mindset. The story you tell yourself about what’s happening, and who you are, and what’s possible is entirely up to you. And the way you look at the world shapes how you experience it. When you choose to focus on kinder and more accurate stories, the way you feel about life and yourself begins to totally transform.

Because when it comes to changing your mindset, what it all boils down to is this:

A healthier mindset is built, not found… one small choice at a time.

Now, what are you going to do with what you’ve learned today? What’s one simple mindset shift that you can make this week? Because your mindset really is up to you… and it’s up to you to change it if you want to change your life. The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing. So what choice will you make today? And no hitting ‘next episode’ doesn’t count, although I certainly won’t complain if you do!

Each week, I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:

Your life is as good as your mindset. 

Unknown

Let me repeat that. 

Your life is as good as your mindset.

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

Sign up for my weekly newsletter at ltamh.com and support me on Patreon for early access to ad-free extended episodes. They’re both linked in the description.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world… because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time! 

You’ll also find my episode about realistic positive thinking helpful. It’s linked in the description.

Next week is Episode 300, and I’ll be sharing lessons from my breakdown, and how you can use them to protect your peace . Follow or subscribe to never miss an episode, and have a great week!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program. Discover more at ltamh.com.

---

SUPPORT MY SHOW!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program written and created by me (Jeremy Godwin… hi! 👋), and I rely on people like you to help with the costs of producing my show each week. If you’d like to show your support for what I do (which I’d really appreciate), you can become a paid subscriber on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes. Thank you!

Huge thanks to my wonderful Patreon supporters (in alphabetical order): Amanda D., Amanda K., Belinda, Bill, Brittnee, Carol B, Carol F, Charlie, Isabel, Janis & Steve, Jo, Kaiulani, Keith, Kim, Lenka, Maya, Michael, Monte, Nikki, Patricia, Paula, Rachel, Roxanne, Sonia, Susan, Tatiana, Taylor.

Click here to become a Patreon supporter:

Or you can make a secure one-off or recurring donation below (payments processed by Stripe).

---

TOOLS & RESOURCES FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

I offer simple digital products that will help you improve and look after your mental health. My Daily Affirmations tool will help you start your day with focus and intention, grounding you and creating a sense of calm. My Daily Reflection Tool is a buy-once-use-forever PDF tool that helps you to do the work that will lead to better mental health and well-being. Plus I have a Masterclass Video which is like your own coaching session with me so that you can get the most out of your daily tool. Buy the two as a bundle and save 20% for a limited time! Click the links below for your chosen product(s):

---

Click here for details of mental health resources in most countries.

---

SUBSCRIBE

Sign up here to have episode transcripts and video/audio land in your inbox each week:

(I hate spam, so your information stays private. I may send you the odd email to update you about something new I’m working on, but other than that you’ll be receiving episode transcripts with embedded video/audio).

---

---

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Find more content at www.ltamh.com

Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2025 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.