If you’ve ever felt like you’re not enough — no matter what you do — then this week I’m talking about how to finally start believing in your worth. So, Let’s Talk About Mental Health!

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Let’s talk about feeling worthy.

Because we don’t talk enough about what it feels like to walk around in the world believing — deep down — that you’re just not enough.

You might smile and nod, do the things, and tell yourself you’re fine… but, underneath it all, there’s that voice. The one that quietly whispers that you’re not good enough. That you’re not doing enough. That you’re too much… or not enough… or just not worthy of the love, care, respect, or success you want.

It’s exhausting.

So many of us carry around feelings of unworthiness that were planted years ago — by parents who couldn’t show up for us emotionally, by painful experiences that left their mark, or just by the slow drip of expectations and comparison over time. Eventually, we started believing that we have to earn our worth by achieving more, by giving more, and by proving ourselves over and over again.

But the problem with that is that it never ends, because the goalpost keeps moving.

The truth is, your worth isn’t something you need to hustle for. It’s not a prize you unlock once you’ve ticked all the boxes or fixed all your flaws. It’s already there — baked into who you are.

But feeling worthy? That takes work. It means unlearning old stories, setting clearer boundaries, and choosing — actively choosing, every single day — to treat yourself with care and respect.

This week on Let’s Talk About Mental Health, I’m exploring what it really means to feel worthy, why unworthiness is so damaging for your mental health, and how to start building a more solid and grounded sense of self-worth. No fluff, no random opinions, no empty affirmations — just real, practical ways to reconnect with your value.

Because when you believe in your worth, everything changes — not because you become someone else, but because you finally start seeing yourself clearly.

Check out Episode 285 now using the links below or scroll down to read the transcript, and let’s talk about feeling worthy… because the more we talk about it, the easier it gets.

Have a great week!
Jeremy 😃

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Episode Transcript:

When you don’t feel worthy… start here

Why is it so hard to feel good enough about yourself, even when people around you might be telling you that you’re great?

And why do compliments often seem to just bounce right off you… and yet criticism sticks to you like glue?

And why is it that no matter how much you do or give or prove, it never seems to feel like it’s enough?

Well, if you’ve ever struggled with feelings of unworthiness, you’re not alone… and you’re not broken. This is something I see all the time in my work as a counsellor, and it’s something I’ve been through myself far more times than I can count.

Feeling unworthy can quietly poison your self-esteem, your relationships, your decisions, your goals… everything.

But here’s the thing: your worth isn’t something you have to earn.

It’s something you already have.

You just need to reconnect with it.

And today I’m teaching you how to feel worthiness. I’ll step you through what it really means to feel worthy, why so many of us struggle with it and, most importantly, how to start building a genuine sense of worth from the inside out… with no external validation required.

So get comfortable, and let’s talk about feeling worthy!

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of Let’s Talk About Mental Health! If you don’t believe you’re worthy, then it really doesn’t matter how much praise or reassurance you get from others; none of it will ever resonate with you, and you’ll just feel rubbish about yourself. You’ll keep on chasing approval or achievement or love, hoping that it’ll fill the gap, but it never quite does.

And that’s because true worthiness isn’t something that comes from outside of you.

It comes from within.

Because if you don’t recognise your worthiness, then no amount of love and adulation from the rest of the world will ever shake that nasty little voice in your head that keeps on telling you that you’re not good enough.

When you learn how to reconnect with your sense of worth, that’s when everything begins to shift, and we’re going to talk about how to do that throughout this episode.

By the way, I’m Jeremy Godwin and I make better mental health simple with practical advice that actually works.

And before we start, I have the flu today, so I’m going to sound a bit croaky and nasal; I may even sound like Fran from The Nanny, so just please bear with me!

So let’s first talk about…

What it means to feel worthy

All right, so true self-worth is when you have a strong internal sense of your value as a unique individual.

In other words, as you; not for being someone or something else, but who you truly are.

And at its core, ‘feeling worthy’ means that you know, and actually believe, deep down, that you have value simply because you exist… not because of what you do or have or what you achieve or what you give to others.

Because you are you… and the thing is that you matter.

You are worthy.

Every single one of us is!

Worthiness is not something that comes from looking a certain way or having this, that, or the other. It’s not something that you have to earn or that only comes once you pass certain milestones or fit into some specific idea of who you think you’re supposed to be or who other people tell you you’re supposed to be.

You are worthy just by sheer virtue of your existence.

And regardless of what your personal or philosophical life beliefs may be, the fact that you are here right now is nothing short of an absolute miracle. Just think about the massive number of random coincidences that had to happen in order for you to be here in this moment right now… like coming across this podcast or video, like your parents meeting, and your grandparents meeting, and their parents meeting, and so on and so forth.

All of those factors have somehow managed to get you to this one place that you’re at in life.

And the fact that you are here right now is not only miraculous, but it’s an opportunity… and it makes you unique.

And the reason why I’m highlighting that is that it’s your uniqueness that actually makes you incredibly priceless, and it means that you have something remarkable to contribute to this world, even if maybe you can’t see it.

Now, this isn’t about having to reinvent the wheel or to, I don’t know, win all the Oscars, or completely transform humanity’s understanding of… whatever! I can’t think of an example, but this is about recognising that even at a simple, straightforward, life level, your uniqueness is so incredibly valuable.

You are unique, and you have something to offer.

It doesn’t matter how big or small that offering may actually be.

This is not about ego, or arrogance, or thinking that you’re better than everyone else, because that’s just not the case… but it’s about self-respect and being able to find real stability within yourself.

Because when you don’t feel like you’re worthy, you might constantly second guess yourself or find that you’re over apologising for things, especially things that you don’t need to, like expressing your opinion or asking for what you need. Or maybe you’ll find that it means for you that you struggle to accept compliments from others, because deep down you don’t believe that you deserve good things… even though you actually do.

It can show up as people pleasing, as perfectionism, or as staying in unhealthy situations, or constantly feeling like you have to prove your value to other people in order to be accepted or loved.

And it can mean struggling to love yourself, which makes it harder and harder to see all of your positives because you end up being so fixated on the negatives… and that’s not only mentally and emotionally exhausting, but it’s also physically exhausting as well.

And over time, feeling unworthy can take a really serious toll on your mental health. It feeds into anxiety, it fuels low self-esteem, and it keeps you stuck in cycles of burnout or resentment or self-sabotage or all of the above.

In general, when you don’t believe that you matter it’s incredibly hard to take proper care of yourself. But, on the other hand, when you feel worthy, and when you allow yourself to see all the wonderful things about you that make you into the unique and amazing person you are, that’s when you’re much more likely to make healthy choices, to set better boundaries with other people and with yourself and actually stick to them. And it’s also when you’re much more likely to show up in a more confident way in all areas of your life. The thing about worthiness is it’s quiet, and it’s grounded, and it’s steady. It’s the polar opposite of constantly chasing approval and validation from other people. It’s the ability to look within yourself for validation, and it’s building the confidence and self-trust to nurture your individuality and to see the value in being true to yourself… instead of trying to be something or someone that you’re just not.

Because if you’re constantly going and looking to other people to make you feel good about yourself, then the problem is that you’re relying on other people to feel good about yourself! And if that isn’t forthcoming, or if that’s taken away, or if what you hear is not what you hope or need to hear, you’re going to find yourself in a bit of a mess… let’s just be completely transparent there!

Worth doesn’t come from other people. It comes from you.

Only you can be the one to determine what your worth is, not somebody else.

And ultimately the good news is that self-worth is something that you can build. It’s not fixed or permanent, and it’s definitely not dependent on what other people think about you. However, it’s tough… and if it were easy then we probably wouldn’t be sitting here having this conversation!

So then, now let’s talk about…

Why is feeling worthy tough to do?

Well, it’s because for the most part, this stuff doesn’t just appear one day out of thin air. It’s deeply ingrained, and it quite likely goes a fair way back.

It often comes from the messages or experiences that we’ve had during our younger years that made us question our value. Messages that you received from others while you were growing up, whether they were explicit or implied, that might have taught you that your worth is conditional.

And things like trauma, neglect, or abuse can deeply damage your self-concept, and make it difficult to feel safe in your own skin.

And really, worthiness is the ultimate expression of self-kindness and self-love.

And yeah, it takes a huge amount of work to get to that place. We’re going to be talking shortly about how to do that, or at the very least, how to start the work… because trust me when I tell you this is not just a tick boxes A, B, and C and away you go, you’re all done; nothing in mental health works like that, I’m going to tell you that right now! You cannot just pop a pill or read a book or follow a tip on Instagram and suddenly have all of your mental health challenges resolved overnight and be a perfect human being… because that just doesn’t exist.

The reality is that good mental health takes work. It takes time, effort, and perseverance.

So back to the point of what I was talking about before I got off on that tangent!

I want to highlight that there’s also a thing that we need to take into account around cultural and social expectations, which can impact on your ability to feel worthy. And so, yes, part of that comes from the culture that you come from, and the family that you come from, and your extended family and friends. But it’s also about society at large. I mean, we’re constantly bombarded with messages that tell us that you have to look a certain way, or achieve certain things, or that you have to be constantly productive in order to be good enough… and so if you don’t meet those criteria, then you can start to feel like you’re behind, or as though there’s something wrong with you.

Which there’s not; you’re just in your own place, right? We all reach whatever destination we’re going to reach at our own timeframe, and we shouldn’t be comparing one another to each other or other people… simply because of the fact that my life journey is different to yours, is different to your next door neighbour, the next person across the street; everyone’s life journey is different, and so you’re not comparing apples with apples when you do that.

You may also see feelings of unworthiness show up as things like perfectionism and people pleasing. Both are very common symptoms of not feeling worthy. And the problem with them is not only are they challenging as it is because, you know, well, it’s perfectionism and people pleasing… how great are they gonna be?! Because they don’t work, by the way… there’s no such thing as ‘perfect’ and you cannot please all the people all the time, so at some point or another you are going to let someone down, or you are going to piss someone off, and that’s just part of life. A healthy relationship is not one that’s devoid of conflict; a healthy relationship is one that is mutually respectful, mutually supportive.

So the point that I was making, which is in here somewhere, is perfectionism and people pleasing both tend to reinforce the feeling of not being good enough, of not being enough in general.

So then the question is, how do you tackle all of that? How do you not only let go of those thoughts and feelings that you’re not worthy, but how do you also begin to genuinely embrace your worth and see your true value? Well, I’m about to explore lots of practical ways to feel more worthy right after this quick break!

[AD BREAK]

And welcome back!

So far, we’ve talked about what it actually means to feel worthy and why so many of us struggle with it. We’ve looked at how unworthiness can show up in your day-to-day life, and just how damaging it can be for your mental health and wellbeing.

But the good news is, these patterns are not fixed. You can change them, and there are lots of things you can do starting today to shift how you see yourself and start reconnecting a lot more with your self-worth. So let’s look at how to actually do that in a real and sustainable way, and let’s talk about…

How to stop feeling unworthy and start embracing your worth

All right, so let’s really talk about what you can actually do to start reconnecting with your worth. Now, these are not quick fixes… but they are incredibly powerful, especially when you practice them consistently. So what I want you to do is pick a couple to focus on over the next month, and then slowly add in some more bit by bit. Please don’t try to do everything all at once, I’m sharing like 14 or 15 tips, because that can be just way too overwhelming and you’re setting yourself up for failure. So just work on improving your feelings of worth one step at a time with one or two tips, and then build gradually. Okay, so my first tip is…

Start noticing your inner narrative more. You can’t shift what you’re not aware of… so you need to pay closer attention to the way you speak to yourself, especially when things go wrong. Are your thoughts kind, or are they cruel? Are they supportive, or are they punishing? Don’t judge these thoughts. Simply be aware of them, and be curious about when they show up and why. Look for any recurring thoughts or patterns that might be happening. So, for example, do these thoughts present around certain people or in specific situations? You might want to make some notes for yourself in your phone, or grab a notebook and pen and actually write this out; that’s going to be even more helpful to journal that way. The thing is that self-awareness is the first step to taking your power back. Okay, next.

Gently challenge negative thoughts when they show up. Once you’ve noticed a recurring negative thought, the next step is to question it, especially the harsh or unhelpful ones. Ask yourself, is this thought true? Is it helpful? Would I say it to someone I care about? And if it’s a pattern you’ve observed, consider why it’s happening and what the contributing factors may be. You don’t need to force a solution, or try to make everything go away with a smudge stick and some positive affirmations… just aim to replace those negative thoughts with a more balanced and realistic voice if and when they show up. So instead of saying to yourself something like, “I’m useless!” and accepting that narrative, try challenging it by telling yourself, “Actually, I’m not useless; i’m having a tough day, but that doesn’t define me or my worth.” This is about consciously disrupting the automatic spiral that comes with these types of negative thoughts and learning to respond to yourself with a bit more compassion… and a whole lot more perspective. All right. Next…

Challenge your beliefs about your worth. This one can be a bit confronting, and it’s not something you just do once and you’re magically cured… but basically this is about recognising and truly accepting that you don’t need to meet a set of criteria or have achieved X, Y, and Z in order to be worthy because true self-worth comes from who you are, not what boxes you tick. So many of us grow up believing our worth depends on what we achieve, how much we give, or how perfect we are… but that’s a lie. Your value isn’t based on performance or productivity. Your value is something you already have. When thoughts show up like, “I’m not doing enough!”, or “I failed, so I’m useless!”, pause and ask yourself, where is that coming from? Is it really true? Then reframe it with something more grounded like, “I can make time to rest and still have value.” The more you question those old stories you’ve been telling yourself, the more space you create to build healthier and more supportive ones. Okay. Next…

Give yourself permission to take up space. Alright, alright, I know this one sounds a bit like a generic and cheesy inspirational post on Instagram… but there’s a whole lot more to taking up space in the world than just thinking about it! This is about embracing the fact that you matter, because you do, and that you have something unique and invaluable to offer to the world, even if it’s just something small like a smile to a stranger or choosing to treat others kindly. Feeling worthy means learning how to stop shrinking yourself to fit into other people’s expectations of you or their limiting beliefs about who you should be and how you should behave. So… speak up. Set boundaries. Say no. You don’t need to apologise for existing or try to earn your place in the world… you already belong. The real work is in allowing yourself to believe it. If you often find that self-doubt gets in the way of being able to do that, check out Episode 283 where I explore that in more detail. Okay, next…

Stop waiting to feel ready before you show up. Worthiness isn’t something that you earn after ticking all the boxes in life. It’s something you build by taking action, even when you’re unsure. That might mean applying for the job regardless of your fears, or setting a boundary with someone even though you can’t stand conflict, or speaking up in a meeting. The more you act like someone who matters, the more that internal belief starts to grow. Next…

Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to someone you love. Self-worth is often rooted in our internal criticisms, and so it really helps to think about how you treat someone you care deeply for: would you shame them for needing rest, or would you support them? Would you tear them down when they make a mistake, or would you help them through whatever they were dealing with? I’m fairly confident that you’d meet them with love and understanding… and so then why don’t you do the same for yourself? Because if you can’t show yourself love and kindness, then it’s going to be hard for others to do so. Try using that same tone of support and understanding that you use with a loved one with yourself. Be gentle and kind, and also firm when it’s needed. That inner voice of yours is incredibly powerful, so train it to be your ally… not your enemy. Okay, next…

Say no to things that don’t honour your value. If something feels like a constant drain, whether it’s a relationship, a responsibility, or a commitment, it’s okay to step back. Saying ‘no’ doesn’t make you difficult or selfish; it means you’re acknowledging that your time, energy, and wellbeing matter… which they do. And saying ‘no’ is a massive act of self-worth, because you’re demonstrating to others and to yourself that your needs matter… which they do. Alright, next…

Practice owning your wins out loud. Now I’m really going to make some of you uncomfortable with this, and that’s okay because growth is challenging and it requires you to push yourself out of your comfort zone. So, a lot of people who struggle with self-worth tend to downplay their achievements or brush off compliments. So what I want you to do is flip that habit. Start acknowledging to yourself what you’ve done well, no matter how small, even if it feels uncomfortable: say it out loud, write it down, or tell someone you trust. You don’t need to be arrogant about it… just be honest. Recognising your progress helps to reinforce the message that you’re capable and you’re valuable, even when your brain might be telling you otherwise. Okay. Next…

Be intentional about what you consume. Look, those of you who join me regularly to talk about mental health will know that I mention this a lot: the media, your social feeds, and the people you spend time with all influence how you feel about yourself. So if you’re constantly comparing yourself to filtered perfection or absorbing toxic messages, then your sense of worth will take a hit. Instead, start curating your inputs. Follow accounts that make you feel seen, spend time with people who uplift you, and mute or unfollow what doesn’t align with how you want to feel. It’s not about burying your head in the sand. It’s about being smart when it comes to what you consume and how it affects your self-worth. Next…

Remind yourself regularly that you are not your mistakes. Everyone messes up. Everyone has flaws. Everyone says and does stupid things from time to time, me included. But feeling unworthy often comes from turning those imperfections into your identity. You are not your worst moments. You are not defined by who you were when you were in survival mode. You are not the times that you dropped the ball, or did something ridiculous, or said something out of line. You are a unique individual who is making their way through a life that doesn’t come with an instruction manual, and where a lot of our growth comes from our mistakes. So be kinder to yourself, and stop punishing yourself for your mistakes. Learning to separate your behaviour from your worth is a key part of healing, and growth comes from being able to accept your whole self… flaws and all. Okay, next…

Practice small acts of self-respect. And I’m not talking about respecting yourself in a big, loud, performative way, but in the quiet choices you make every day. Eat a proper meal. Go to bed on time. Don’t over commit yourself. Make space to rest and recharge, instead of just doing the whole ‘go, go, go!’ thing that seems to be expected of us these days and winding up operating at a pace that would make even a productivity guru on YouTube feel exhausted. Treating yourself with respect builds your worth from the inside out. Next…

Reconnect with what makes you feel alive. When you’re immersed in things that matter to you, whether that’s creativity, nature, music, or meaningful connections, or whatever, that’s when you remember that you’re so much more than just what you have and what you produce or what you do for a living. Worthiness grows when you live in alignment with who you truly are and what lights you up. In the wise words of that guru from the late seventies, Patrick Hernandez, we were born to be alive… so, be alive! I talked about being true to yourself recently in Episode 282, so check that out for more on the topic. Okay, next…

Surround yourself with people who see your worth, and treat you accordingly. Now, you can’t always control who’s around you… but you can choose how close you let them stand. You’re in full control of who has access to you, and what that access looks and feels like… and that means that you can build your circle thoughtfully, and ideally spend more time with people who uplift you rather than drain you; people who respect you and your boundaries, and who remind you of your value when you forget. Next…

Heal the root causes of not feeling worthy. Okay, so this is much deeper work and it’s the work of a lifetime; i’ve been back in therapy for just over four years, and it’s an ongoing process to work through all the stuff that sometimes gets in the way of my own ability to see and recognise my worth, but it’s definitely the best work that I’ve ever done, and it’s worth every minute and every dollar that I’ve spent because my stuff runs deep and it stretches back to a lot of issues from a horrible childhood, and then all of the choices that I made in early adulthood and beyond to try to compensate for that or to try to suppress all of that… uh, doesn’t work, by the way! Just as an FYI… that’s a conversation for another day! But going back to what I was saying, if your feelings of unworthiness come from early trauma or negative conditioning, then please know that you don’t have to carry that stuff forever. Working with a therapist, or to an extent doing deep self-reflection work, can really help you to untangle those roots and figure out how to plant something better in their place.

Because when it comes to feeling worthy, what it all boils down to is this:

You were never supposed to spend your life trying to prove you’re good enough, and that’s because your worth isn’t something to be earned. It’s something you already have, even if you maybe can’t feel it yet. The more you learn to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, and the more you choose to show up for yourself with honesty, compassion, and respect, the more your sense of worth will grow; quietly, steadily, and strongly.

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing.

So what choice will you make today?

Each week, I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by Maya Angelou, and it is…

You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.

Let me repeat that.

You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.

All right. That’s nearly it for this week.

What would your life look like if you truly believed you were already enough? Let me know in the comments and let’s talk, because the more we talk about it the easier it gets.

Join my free mailing list at ltamh.com to stay up to date with new episodes and more, and support me on Patreon for early access to ad free episodes and exclusive content. They’re both linked in the description.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

My recent episode about being true to yourself might also help, so check it out next; it’s linked in the description.

Next week I’ll be talking about emotional boundaries. Follow or subscribe to never miss an episode, and have a great week!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program. Discover more at ltamh.com.

Born to be alive…

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Find more content at www.ltamh.com

Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2025 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.