Why is being vulnerable with the people you trust (and with yourself) important for your mental health and wellbeing? Well, that’s what I’m talking about this week… so, let’s talk! 😃

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Listen to the episode

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Show Notes

Episode Description:

What is vulnerability, and why is being vulnerable important for your mental health? In this episode, I explore the power of opening up — not just to others, but also to yourself — and how it can lead to deeper connections, personal growth, and a more authentic way of living. If you’re ready to find out how being vulnerable can improve your relationships and wellbeing, let’s talk!

Episode Release Date:

November 10th, 2024

Key Points:

• What letting yourself be vulnerable means
• Why vulnerability is essential for better mental health
• How being vulnerable impacts your relationships
• Practical steps to embrace vulnerability in your daily life
• How vulnerability leads to personal growth and authenticity

Mentioned in this Episode (links open in new window):

• Episode 242: How to Be More Assertive  
• Brené Brown’s TEDx talk: “The Power of Vulnerability“
• Link to my YouTube channel for additional content (new videos every Wednesday)

Quote of the Week:

“Vulnerability is strength.” — Unknown

Call to Action:

How do you let yourself be vulnerable? Share your thoughts in the Spotify comments section, or connect with me on Instagram @ltamentalhealth. Sign up for the weekly transcript and show notes at ltamh.com.

Next Week’s Episode:

Next week, I’ll be discussing how to say no without feeling guilty. Scheduled for release on November 17, 2024 (one week earlier for Official Supporters on Patreon).

Listen, Rate and Follow:

Hit ‘follow’ on your podcast service and turn on notifications. Available on all major services including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, YouTube Music and more.

Connect with Jeremy Godwin:

Find me on Instagram @itsjeremygodwin (and sometimes on Threads at the same handle).

Support the Show:

Become a paid supporter on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes and exclusive content (opens in new window).

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TRANSCRIPT

How to let yourself be vulnerable

What is vulnerability, and why is being vulnerable important? What happens when you stop hiding your feelings, and start expressing them more openly? And how does letting down your guard improve your mental health?

That’s what I’m talking about this week… so, if you’re ready to find out how being vulnerable improves your relationships then let’s talk!

Hello and thanks for joining me for the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast, the independent show full of simple ideas for better mental health!

If you’re new here, then hi! I’m Jeremy Godwin, podcast creator and writer, and this isn’t another show full of interviews or random opinions; I’m also a mental health counsellor, and each week I teach you practical and effective ways to improve your mental wellbeing, all based on quality research as well as my own experience of learning to live with anxiety and depression (after a breakdown in 2011 that changed my life).

This is Episode 257 and today I’ll be talking about how to let yourself be vulnerable — what it means, why it matters, and how you can do it.

So, let’s talk!

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Being vulnerable is one of those things that often gets a bit of a bad reputation, isn’t it? We might associate vulnerability with weakness, or exposing ourselves to potential harm, and our instinct can often be to protect ourselves at all costs rather than opening up and possibly leaving ourselves open to criticism or negativity. But letting yourself be vulnerable is important because it allows you to live more authentically, and connect more deeply with others… and that’s because, at its core, vulnerability is about being open and honest with yourself and others — and honesty is always a good thing (even if it doesn’t necessarily feel like it at the time!).

If you’ve ever caught yourself putting on a brave face when inside you’re feeling anything but, or felt the weight of keeping everything bottled up inside, then you’re certainly not alone. In a world that often celebrates toughness and self-reliance, it’s easy to hide our true feelings behind a well-crafted façade. But what if letting your guard down could actually lead to a much happier and healthier you?

Today I’m going to delve into what it really means to be vulnerable and why it’s such a vital part of your mental health journey, as well as how opening up — not just to others but also to yourself — can lead to deeper connections, personal growth, and a more authentic way of living. It’s not always easy, and it can feel a bit daunting, but the rewards just might surprise you!

So, let’s start by getting ourselves on the same page with some definitions and let’s talk about…

What does letting yourself be vulnerable mean?

When we talk about ‘being vulnerable’ it’s about giving yourself permission to show up as your true self, warts and all, without apology. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, it means that you’re embracing your authentic feelings, thoughts, and experiences without trying to put up a façade or hide behind a mask. Just to be clear, feeling vulnerable (where you feel unsafe and exposed to potential or actual harm, physically or emotionally) isn’t what I’m talking about here; being vulnerable is about opening up, rather than keeping things hidden… yes, that can also feel scary, but it’s very different to being in a vulnerable position. Really what we’re talking about here is taking a leap of faith and embracing emotional honesty — not just with others, but also with yourself. 

And that, my friends, can be absolutely terrifying.

I know that, for me, one of the biggest outcomes of all the stuff I’ve been through over the past decade or so has been learning (often the hard way!) that I have to acknowledge my emotions and fully embrace them — even when I don’t want to, when they’re inconvenient or difficult or even terrifying — and it can feel incredibly daunting, like stepping into the unknown without any kind of shield or defence… but, at its heart, vulnerability is about embracing your true self — your thoughts, feelings, and experiences — without hiding behind a façade. 

In a broad sense, being vulnerable means allowing yourself to be open and honest, even when it’s uncomfortable… especially when it’s uncomfortable, because that’s when it’s getting real! It’s acknowledging that you’re human, with all the imperfections and emotions that come with that; to deny yourself that is to deny yourself of the truth of what it means to live. When you choose to be vulnerable, you’re choosing to live authentically… without the masks we often wear to protect ourselves.

So, what does being vulnerable with others look like in everyday life? Imagine you’re feeling overwhelmed at work. Instead of pretending everything’s fine, you might reach out to a colleague and say, “I’m struggling with this project and could use some support.” By doing this, you’re admitting that you don’t have all the answers, and that’s OK — which opens the door for collaboration and understanding. Or perhaps you’ve been feeling distant from a friend or loved one. Being vulnerable might mean initiating a conversation and saying, “I’ve missed our catch-ups and would love to reconnect.” It’s about taking that step to express your true feelings, which can often strengthen your relationships.

Being vulnerable with yourself is just as important. It means taking an honest look at your emotions and thoughts without judgement. For example, you might notice you’re feeling anxious about an upcoming event; instead of just brushing it off, you acknowledge it instead with something like: “I’m feeling nervous because I’m stepping out of my comfort zone.” Recognising these types of feelings allows you to address them constructively. It’s about being in tune with yourself, and giving yourself permission to feel whatever comes up (remembering that feelings are not facts!).

In a mental health context, vulnerability plays a crucial role. Letting yourself acknowledge and express your true feelings creates space for healing and growth. If you’re struggling with feelings of sadness or anxiety, admitting it to yourself is the first step towards finding support. You might think, “I’m not feeling like myself lately, and that’s OK. Maybe it’s time to talk to someone about it.” This type of emotional openness breaks down the barriers that often prevent us from seeking help, and it can be as simple as journalling your thoughts, or confiding in a trusted friend or professional. I know talking to someone can be tough, but remember that we’re all navigating life’s ups and downs and you don’t have to do it alone.

Let me also just say that being vulnerable doesn’t mean you have to expose your deepest secrets to everyone. It’s about being authentic and open when it matters, with people you trust, and most importantly, with yourself. It’s OK to set boundaries and choose when and where to be vulnerable; the key is allowing yourself the freedom to express your true feelings in those safe spaces without fear of judgement. I’ll also note that it isn’t about being needy or relying on others for your validation; really, it’s about speaking from the heart without apology while also being your own cheerleader.

While you may have experienced some people not being receptive to honest and vulnerable conversations in your life, that’s about them and not you; it’s healthy to talk about your feelings instead of suppressing them, and you need to remember that vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness but a courageous step towards greater self-awareness and emotional wellbeing. By embracing vulnerability, you’re taking an important step in supporting your mental health, and showing up for yourself in a genuine way (which is always a lot healthier than bottling things up until you eventually explode!).

So, now let’s talk about…

Why is letting yourself be vulnerable important?

And, really, it’s because vulnerability plays a crucial role in healing and personal growth. Acknowledging your emotions — both positive and negative — is essential for processing them. Suppressing feelings like sadness, anger, or fear doesn’t make them disappear; instead, they tend to manifest in unhealthy ways, like increased stress, anxiety issues, or even physical symptoms. By allowing yourself to be vulnerable about what you’re feeling and why, you’re giving yourself permission to experience these emotions fully… and that’s an important step towards coping and recovery.

Being open about your mental health struggles can also break down the stigma that often surrounds these issues. When you share your experiences, you contribute to a culture that normalises discussions about mental wellbeing… which can lead to a more supportive environment where people feel safe to seek help without fear of judgement. It’s why I share my own struggles, past and present, in this podcast, so that openness and vulnerability can become a powerful tool for collective understanding and healing.

Moving on, vulnerability also enhances your self-awareness. By facing your emotions head-on, you gain deeper insights into your thoughts and behaviours, as well as patterns you might tend to repeat, and that can then help you identify areas where you might want to make changes or seek support. It encourages personal growth by pushing you to step outside your comfort zone and confront aspects of yourself that you might otherwise avoid.

Embracing vulnerability can also lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships with others, because it fosters empathy and mutual respect. Vulnerability is basically the gateway to genuine human connection; when you share your true feelings, thoughts, and experiences with others, you create space for them to do the same (and we tend to connect much more deeply with people who feel real to us; if you haven’t already seen Brené Brown’s 2010 TEDx talk ‘The power of vulnerability’ then I highly recommend it, I’ll leave a link to it in the show notes and transcript which you can get for free at ltamh.com under ‘Episodes’). 

So, the point here is that being vulnerable is really about stripping away the masks we often wear and showing up as our real selves which fosters trust and builds stronger relationships, whether that’s with friends, family, colleagues, etc. And it just makes it easier to feel comfortable in your own skin, which is why I just so happen to think that being vulnerable is the greatest thing you can do for your mental health; instead of having to live up to someone else’s idea of how you should be, you can embrace your true self and live in a more honest and authentic way.

It’s also amazing for building more intimate connections with others. Think about the times when you’ve shared something personal with someone else; perhaps you admitted a mistake, or expressed a fear, or revealed a dream you have. Chances are, that moment of vulnerability brought you closer to the other person. Because it’s in our shared experiences that we find common ground, and where we realise we’re not alone in our struggles (and how nice is it to discover you’re not alone in all of this stuff?!). 

In essence, letting yourself be vulnerable is an incredibly  courageous act that enriches your life in many, many different ways. By embracing vulnerability, you’re not only improving your own emotional wellbeing but also improving the quality of your relationships… while also contributing to a more compassionate and understanding society.

So, how do you do all that? Well, let’s first take a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…

AD BREAK [Note: Ads do not play if you have Spotify Premium or are an Official Supporter tier Patreon supporter]

And welcome back! Now let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about… 

How to be vulnerable (without being needy!)

Now, let me just take a quick moment first to point out here that my ‘how to’ tips are just that: tips. Not step-by-step instructions that should be followed religiously to the letter. My advice is to pick a couple of tips that you feel drawn to, try them and see how they go, and then come back and try another couple to build on your progress (that’s where being signed up to my mailing list can help, because you’ll get the transcript and show notes in your inbox every Sunday so you can refer back to it whenever you like; sign up at ltamh.com or just use the link in the episode description). 

So, with all that said, on with the tips! And let’s begin with… 

Start by being honest with yourself — because letting yourself be vulnerable really begins with self-honesty. Take some time to reflect on your true feelings, thoughts, and fears without judgement, which helps because acknowledging your emotions to yourself is the first step towards being able to eventually share them with others. Set aside a few quiet moments each day to check in with yourself — maybe that’s through meditation, or just simply sitting with your thoughts. Ask yourself how you’re really feeling, and just notice whatever comes up to the surface without pushing it away or judging it. That leads to my next tip…

Write down your thoughts and feelings — and, so, I talk about journalling a lot in this show and I do so for two reasons: first, writing your feelings down is a great way to release them, and secondly, journalling is a private way to explore your vulnerability. Writing down your thoughts helps because it clarifies your emotions and it can reveal patterns in your thinking, plus it means you’re not just bottling things up (so basically it’s a ‘write it out to get it out’ thing!). Start by setting aside a few minutes each day to write down whatever comes to mind or to express your feelings about the day; it’s a simple way to reflect and unwind before you go to bed. There’s no need for it to be polished — this is for your eyes only. Actually, even that doesn’t matter because you really don’t need to read it (unless you want to!); sometimes just dumping out your thoughts is all you need, so go with what feels right for you. OK, next… 

Embrace discomfort — vulnerability can feel uncomfortable, and that’s OK. Embracing that discomfort helps, because it means you’re growing and taking more risks in life (which I talked about in Episode 250). Remind yourself that feeling uneasy is a natural part of the process, and that it’s leading to personal growth. And so that leads to my next point…

Accept that vulnerability involves uncertainty — look, being vulnerable inherently involves some level of uncertainty and risk because you don’t know what will or won’t happen next… but that’s life. Life is uncertainty, so we need to let ourselves take a leap of faith every now and then. Accepting this fact prepares you mentally for the possibility of various outcomes, making the process feel less daunting. Remind yourself that it’s OK not to control every aspect of how others might respond, and trust that you can handle whatever comes your way (because you can and you will). OK, next… 

Don’t compare yourself with others — why? Because it can get in the way of vulnerability by stirring up feelings of inadequacy. Limiting comparison allows you to focus on your own journey, and it reinforces that we’re all unique individuals on our own unique paths. Remind yourself that everyone has their own struggles, and that we’re all making it up as we go along, and remember that most people only share a highly-curated version of their lives with the world. OK, next…

Embrace your imperfections — nobody’s perfect, and accepting your own imperfections is a powerful way to be more vulnerable because it reduces the pressure to present a flawless image all the time, making it easier to be authentic. Do this by acknowledging areas where you struggle and remind yourself that it’s human to have flaws and weaknesses. Instead of criticising yourself, choose to view these imperfections as opportunities for growth. So that leads to my next tip…

Practice self-compassion — being kind to yourself is absolutely essential for your mental health, because bullying yourself leads to low self-esteem. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer to a good friend. When you notice self-critical thoughts popping up, choose to gently redirect them towards more supportive ones. Next… 

Use affirmations — positive affirmations can reinforce your willingness to be vulnerable, because they serve to reshape your mindset in a healthy way over time. Try repeating simple positive statements to yourself like, “It’s safe for me to be open about my feelings,” or “Sharing my feelings is a strength.” I use daily affirmations every morning (along with gratitude practice) to help set my mindset and intentions for the day, and they can be hugely helpful for your mental health; I have a simple set of affirmations available to buy from my digital store which can help you start your day off the right way, and you’ll find it on my website and linked in the episode description. OK, next… 

Share with someone you trust — once you’ve connected with your own emotions, consider opening up to a trusted friend or supportive family member. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust creates a safe space to be vulnerable, because it builds deeper connections and allows you to experience acceptance and support. Choose someone who has shown empathy and understanding in the past, and say something like, “I wanted to share something that’s been on my mind.” Remember, it’s OK to take it slow and only share what you’re comfortable with. Next…

Take baby steps — vulnerability doesn’t mean you have to bare your soul all at once (so you can breathe a sigh of relief if you were worried!). Taking small risks in sharing can make the process feel safer and more manageable, and gradual exposure builds your confidence over time. You could start by sharing a minor worry or admitting you need help with a simple task, then build from there; each small step can make the next one feel a bit easier. Remember to be patient and go at the pace that feels right for you, even if that means small steps are all you take for a while. Next…

Communicate openly — being clear and honest in your communication is a vulnerable thing to do, but it really makes a difference because it reduces misunderstandings and builds stronger relationships. Express your thoughts and feelings directly, assertively, and without apology, and use “I” statements like “I feel” or “I need,” which focus on your experience without blaming others. I covered how to be more assertive in Episode 242 so you’ll find that helpful as well. OK, next…

Learn to say “I don’t know” — admitting when you don’t have all the answers is a form of vulnerability, because it shows others that you’re open to learning and not afraid to admit your limitations. Plus it also shows that you’re real: nobody has all the answers, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is probably dodgy! Next time you don’t know something, just say, “I don’t know, but I’m willing to find out.” This type of honesty can foster greater trust and encourage more open communication. Next… 

Express your needs — clearly communicating what you need is a form of vulnerability that strengthens your relationships, and it’s good for your mental health because it allows others to understand how they can support you (rather than just expecting them to know). You can do this by stating your needs directly, such as “I need some time to talk about how I’m feeling” or “I need some help with this thing I’m working on.” And, funnily enough, that leads to my next tip…

Accept help from others — letting other people help you when you need it is a sign of strength, not weakness. Accepting assistance builds connections and reminds you that you don’t have to handle everything alone (because you don’t, and you shouldn’t!). Like everything, it’s about finding a healthy balance; instead of being stubborn and independent, or needy and overly dependent on others, the healthy medium is to say “yes” when someone offers support or reaching out when you’re feeling overwhelmed and asking for help. OK, next… 

Build a supportive network — surrounding yourself with people who encourage openness, and steering clear of those who frown on it, makes being vulnerable a lot easier. Nurture relationships with people who respect your feelings, and seek out new connections with like-minded individuals. Next… 

Learn about vulnerability — educating yourself can demystify vulnerability and provide practical advice, and offer new perspectives and strategies. Try exploring books, like Brené Brown’s “Daring Greatly,” which delves into the power of vulnerability, or attend workshops or seminars. Next…

Seek professional support if needed — if you find it particularly challenging to open up and be vulnerable, seeking professional help can be beneficial. A counsellor or psychologist can provide strategies tailored to your situation, and professionals are trained to create a safe, non-judgemental space for you to explore your feelings. You can do this by reaching out to a local mental health professional or asking your GP/family doctor for a referral.

[Final Tips and Next Time]

Because when it comes to letting yourself be vulnerable and your mental health, what it all boils down to is this:

Embracing vulnerability is a step towards a more authentic and fulfilling life. When you allow yourself to be open and genuine, with others and with yourself, you’re creating space for deeper connections and personal growth. It’s OK not to have all the answers, and being vulnerable isn’t a sign of weakness — it takes true strength to push through your fears and insecurities so you can open up to others and show them the real you… but the rewards are definitely worth it!

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:

“Vulnerability is strength.”

Unknown

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week!

Support my show on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes and more; you’ll find it linked in the episode description.

And let me know, how do you let yourself be vulnerable? If you’re on Spotify you can share in the Comments section below, otherwise let me know on Instagram @ltamentalhealth or comment on the transcript and show notes, which you can have delivered to your inbox each week; sign up at ltamh.com or use the link in the episode description. 

I’ll talk to you next week for a new episode, when I’ll be discussing how to say no without feeling guilty. That will be out on November 17; hit ‘follow’ on your podcast service and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world… because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com   

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Find more content at www.letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au

Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2024 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.