If you’ve ever found yourself struggling with your identity, and trying to discover the real you, then this is the episode for you! Get ready to learn how to rediscover yourself so you can start embracing your authenticity. So, let’s talk! 😃

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LISTEN TO THE EPISODE

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Show Notes

Episode Description:

In this episode of Let’s Talk About Mental Health, I’m exploring how to rediscover your true self and embrace your authenticity. We’ll discuss what it means to figure out who you really are, why it’s essential for your mental health, and practical steps to help you on this journey. Tune in for actionable advice that will help you connect more deeply with your authentic self and live a more fulfilling life.

Episode Release Date:
September 15th, 2024

Key Points:

• What ‘figuring out who you really are’ means
• Why understanding your true self is crucial for good mental health
• Practical tips for self-discovery:
  • Reflect on your values
  • Explore your passions
  • Listen to your emotions
  • Identify your strengths
  • Give yourself permission to rediscover yourself at any stage in life
• How living authentically reduces stress and internal conflict
• The connection between self-discovery and mental resilience

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Episode 138: Values
• Episode 141: Beliefs
• Episode 247: How to Love Yourself More

Quote of the Week:
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” – Dolly Parton

Call to Action:
Share how you connect with your true self in the Comments section on Spotify, leave a comment at the end of this post, or connect with me on Instagram @ltamentalhealth. For more tips, follow @itsjeremygodwin and join my Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes.

Next Week’s Episode:
How to take more risks — what it means, why it matters, and how to overcome your fear of stepping outside your comfort zone. Scheduled for release on September 22nd, 2024 (one week earlier for Official Supporters on Patreon).

Listen, Rate and Follow:
Hit ‘follow’ on your podcast service and turn on notifications. Available on all major services including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, YouTube Music and more.

Connect with Jeremy Godwin:
Find me on Instagram @itsjeremygodwin (and sometimes on Threads at the same handle).

Support the Show:
Become a paid supporter on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes and exclusive content (opens in new window).

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TRANSCRIPT

Figuring out who you really are

If you’ve ever found yourself struggling with your identity, and trying to discover the real you, then this is the episode for you; I’m going to teach you how to rediscover yourself and start embracing your authenticity. 

Ready to get to know yourself a whole lot better? Then, get comfortable and let’s talk!

Hello and welcome back to the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast, full of simple ideas for better mental health, and thanks for joining me!

If you’re new here, then hi! I’m Jeremy Godwin, podcast creator, and this isn’t your regular show full of interviews and random opinions. I’m also a mental health counsellor and writer, and each week I teach you practical and effective ways to improve your mental wellbeing, based on quality research and my own experience of learning to live with anxiety and depression after a breakdown in 2011 that changed my life.

This is Episode 249 and today I’ll be talking about what ‘figuring out who you really are’ actually means, why it’s essential for good mental health, and how to do it.

So, let’s talk!

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‘Authenticity is the key to happiness!’ experts say… but how do you figure out who you really are? And how do you let go of all the expectations placed on us by other people and society in general (without going totally free-range and feral!)?

Asking yourself, “Who am I, really?” is a question that can feel pretty intimidating, and maybe even terrifying, and yet it’s one of the most important questions you can explore on your journey through life. 

Figuring out who you really are is about peeling back the layers of expectations, habits, and even self-doubt that can cloud your true self. It’s about discovering what truly matters to you, what brings you joy, and what makes you feel the most alive. When you take the time to understand who you are at your core, you unlock the potential to live a life that feels more authentic and fulfilling.

In this episode, I’m diving deep into the process of self-discovery, exploring practical ways to connect with your true self and the profound impact this can have on your mental health and overall wellbeing. We’ll discuss why it’s so important to figure out who you really are, how it can lead to greater clarity and purpose in your life, and I’ll share practical tips to help you get started on your journey towards figuring out who you are. 

So, if you’re ready to embrace your authentic self and live with greater intention, then let’s start with some definitions and let’s talk about…

What ‘working out who you are’ means

Figuring out who you really are is about stripping away all of the layers of external expectations, societal pressures, and the kinds of limitations you pose on yourself (consciously and subconsciously) in order to discover your true self — who you really are, when all the demands and expectations are peeled away. What your core values, beliefs, hopes, dreams, and passions are, and what makes you feel most alive. 

In other words, the real you — the true you — rather than the version of you you’re told to be, or that you think you have to be in order to fit in. It’s an amazing journey of self-discovery that asks you to explore well beyond the surface of who you think you should be, to uncover the person you truly are underneath it all so that you can live a life that feels truthful and fulfilling. 

This isn’t about achieving a fixed identity but rather embracing the fluid and evolving nature of who you are as you grow and change over time; a process that never stops, no matter how old you are. When you give yourself permission to fully engage with this journey of self-discovery, you can begin to align your life more closely with your authentic self… which leads to greater fulfilment and a deeper sense of peace.

On a practical level, figuring out who you really are involves self-reflection and honest assessment of your life and choices. For example, you might start by considering what genuinely makes you happy — are there activities, hobbies, or work that you’re drawn to because they resonate with you on a deeper level? It could also involve questioning long-held beliefs or values that perhaps no longer serve you. Maybe you’ve always believed that success is defined by a high-paying job but now, on reflection, you’re starting to realise that, for you, success means having more time for your family or for pursuing a creative passion. 

Figuring out who you are also means recognising the difference between what you want and what others want for you. You might find that you’ve been following a particular career path because it was expected of you by family, or by society, but deep down, you know it’s not what you want. It’s about giving yourself permission to be honest with yourself, even when the truth might be uncomfortable, rather than forcing yourself to live a lie.

In a mental health context, figuring out who you really are is crucial because it forms the foundation for authentic living, which is directly tied to your wellbeing. When you’re living in alignment with your true self, there’s a sense of harmony between your inner world and your outer actions. This alignment reduces internal conflict and stress, which often emerge when you feel pressured to be someone or something you’re not. Embracing who you are, flaws and all, can lead to greater self-compassion, which is a critical component of mental health. When you’re kind to yourself, and accepting of your true nature, you’re more likely to experience a stable sense of self-worth… and less likely to be swayed by external criticism or approval.

So, figuring out who you really are is about getting to know yourself on a much deeper and more truthful level, and that process involves a blend of self-reflection, honesty, and the courage to embrace your true nature. On a practical level, it means examining your life, questioning old beliefs, and making choices that reflect your most authentic self… because living in alignment with your true self can lead to a much more peaceful and resilient state of mind.

With that in mind, now let’s talk about… 

Why discovering the real you matters

Figuring out who you really are is absolutely crucial, because it lays the foundation for a life that feels genuinely meaningful and true to you. When you understand your true self, you’re able to make decisions that align with your deepest values and desires… instead of being influenced by the expectations of others or social norms. This clarity brings with it confidence and a greater sense of direction, helping you to navigate life’s inevitable challenges with a strong sense of purpose, safe in the knowledge that your choices reflect your authentic self.

Living authentically, and being true to who you really are, can significantly reduce the internal conflicts and stress that often arise when there’s a disconnect between your inner self and your outer actions. For example, if you value creativity but feel stifled in a job that doesn’t allow you to express it then you’ll likely feel out of alignment… which can lead to frustration, anxiety, or even depression; this was a really big factor for me in my breakdown and why I ended up leaving the corporate sector entirely. When your actions align with your true values, you’re more likely to experience real fulfilment and contentment.

Being proactive about focusing on your self-discovery brings with it lots of benefits, both generally and for your mental health. It increases your self-awareness, which helps you understand what drives you, what brings you joy, and where your limits lie. Self-awareness leads to better decision-making, because you’re able to make choices that reflect your true self rather than being swayed by external pressures. For example, you might realise that a lucrative career isn’t as fulfilling as you once thought (another one I can relate to personally!), and that can then lead you to pursue something more aligned with your passions… even if it requires sacrifices.

Another benefit is that it improves your relationships. When you know who you are, you can communicate more clearly and authentically with other people, setting boundaries and expressing your needs in a way that leads to healthier and more fulfilling connections.

Living in alignment with your true self can also significantly reduce anxiety and stress. When your life reflects your inner values, there’s less internal conflict… which means you’re less likely to experience the discomfort that comes from living out of sync with who you are.  When I was working in the corporate sector I felt anxious almost constantly, and it really wasn’t until I walked away for good that I understood why: for me, it just wasn’t a good fit… and I was doing that ‘square peg/round hole’ thing of trying to force myself to fit in because I thought, “Well, that’s who I am” — well, actually, no, it wasn’t who I am, and now that I do work that’s more creative and more actively focused on educating and helping people, I love my work, even when things are hectic and chaotic, because it’s a much better fit with my true self (rather than having to force myself to be someone I’m not).

In short, figuring out who you really are is essential for a life that feels authentic and fulfilling. It helps you to make smarter decisions that reflect your true self, leading to a much greater sense of contentment and peace of mind. By focusing on your own self-discovery, you can open the door to a life that’s not only true to who you really are but also abundant in purpose and joy.

So, how do you do that? Well, let’s first take a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…

AD BREAK [Note: Ads do not play if you have Spotify Premium or are an Official Supporter tier Patreon supporter]

And welcome back! Now let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about… 

How to figure out who you really are

OK, first, reflect on your values — your values are the principles and beliefs that guide your decisions and actions; when you’re clear about what truly matters to you, it’s easier to make choices that align with your authentic self. Start by listing out the things you believe are the most important in life — whether that’s honesty, kindness, creativity, independence, etc. — and use that list to filter out distractions and focus on what genuinely resonates with you. I covered values in Episode 138 if you’d like to explore that further. Next…  

Examine your beliefs — your beliefs shape your worldview and influence your behaviour, so examining them is crucial to understanding who you are. Some of your beliefs might be inherited from your family or culture, while others may have developed through your personal experiences. It’s healthy to question these beliefs, and consider whether they still serve you or if they need to be re-evaluated, and it’s OK to shed outdated or limiting beliefs that may be holding you back from living authentically. Challenge yourself to think critically about your beliefs, even discussing them with others who might offer different perspectives, and be open to changing your mind when new information or insights emerge. Check out Episode 141 for more about beliefs and mental health. Next… 

Explore your passions — think about the activities or subjects that excite you, the ones that make you lose track of time because you’re so engrossed in them. Whether it’s painting, writing, cooking, advocating for a cause, or whatever, your passions are often a direct reflection of your inner self. Engaging with your passions can bring a sense of fulfilment and purpose, making life feel more meaningful. Try setting aside time each week to engage in activities that ignite your passion, and stay open to discovering new interests along the way. OK, next…

Listen to your emotions — because your emotions are powerful indicators of who you are and what matters to you. Notice when you feel happiest, or most at peace, or most anxious and stressed. These emotional responses often point to underlying needs, desires, or conflicts that can reveal important aspects of your identity. Your emotions act as a guide, showing you what aligns with your authentic self and what doesn’t. Try reflecting daily for a few minutes to assess how you’re feeling and why; I have a simple digital tool to help you do this (as well as a video Masterclass) and it’s linked in the episode description. OK, next… 

Reflect on your childhood — your interests, dreams, and behaviours as a child often reflect your true self before you became influenced by external expectations; by revisiting your childhood memories, you can reconnect with the purest form of your identity… which can reveal passions or traits you may have set aside as you grew older but that still hold significance for you. Think back to what you loved doing as a child, what your dreams were, and what made you feel happiest, and consider how these elements might still be relevant for you today. Next…

Listen to your intuition — which means that inner voice or gut feeling that often knows what’s best for you well before your rational mind catches up. Learning to listen to your intuition, and trust it, can guide you towards decisions and actions that align with your true self, because intuition is often more attuned to your authentic desires and needs than your conscious thoughts which can be clouded by doubt or external influence. Do this by practicing mindfulness, paying attention to your initial reactions in different situations, and making decisions based on what feels right deep down, rather than just what seems logically correct. Next…

Identify your strengths — your strengths are the qualities and abilities that come naturally to you and that you excel at. By recognising and embracing these strengths you can build a life that plays to your natural abilities, which can lead to greater satisfaction and success. This is about focusing on what you’re naturally good at, rather than trying to fit into roles or expectations that don’t suit you. Try reflecting on past achievements, asking for feedback from trusted friends or colleagues, and taking note of the tasks or activities where you feel most confident and capable. Next…

Embrace solitude — spending time alone is a powerful way to connect with your true self. In solitude, you’re free from external influences and you can focus purely on your thoughts, feelings, and desires, which allows you to listen to your inner voice without the distractions of everyday life. Solitude provides the space needed for deep reflection and self-discovery, so try setting aside regular periods of time to be alone — whether that’s going for a walk in nature, meditating, or simply sitting quietly in a comfortable space, and use that time to think, reflect, and connect with what’s going on inside you. Next…

Learn continuously — reading and learning about different concepts, philosophies, cultures, and perspectives can really expand your understanding of yourself and the world around you. By exposing yourself to new ideas and ways of thinking, you can challenge your own beliefs and discover new aspects of your identity, which encourages growth and helps you to refine your sense of self over time. Experiment and try new things, and make a habit of regularly reading books and articles, or even listening to podcasts, that introduce you to new ideas and concepts, and think about how they might influence your understanding of who you are. Plus there are lots of assessment tools that can help you learn about yourself (like your strengths and preferences); just use them as guides rather than relying on them word-for-word… they can be great for highlighting traits or strengths you might not have fully recognised in yourself, but they’re never going to be 100% accurate. OK, next…

Embrace your uniqueness — every single person on this planet is a unique individual, and it’s our uniqueness that makes us precious. Understanding who you are involves embracing the qualities that make you unique, even if they don’t fit the mould of what others might expect. This could be anything from your quirky habits to having unconventional interests or perspectives. By celebrating what makes you different, you can live more authentically and confidently; it’s why I incorporate so much of myself into this podcast (like randomly sharing my eternal love for the Spice Girls) because it’s what makes me ‘me’. Embracing your uniqueness allows you to accept and appreciate yourself fully, which builds your self-esteem and self-worth. Recognise and celebrate the aspects of yourself that set you apart from others, whether that’s a particular talent, your way of thinking, or even your approach to life. Instead of trying to conform, honour these qualities as being integral parts of who you are. Embracing your uniqueness is one of many ways you can learn to love yourself more, which was the subject of Episode 247 (so go check that out after this one!). Next…

Get involved in causes you care about — because taking action on causes that matter to you can reveal a lot about who you are and what you stand for. When you actively engage in work that aligns with your values — whether it’s volunteering, advocacy, community involvement, etc. — you’re connecting with a deeper sense of purpose, and it allows you to express your true self through meaningful action which can reinforce your identity and provide clarity about what’s important to you. Do this by first identifying causes or issues that resonate with you, then finding ways to get involved (for example, through volunteering, donating, spreading awareness, etc.). The key is to take action in a way that feels authentic to you and which reflects your core values. OK, next…

Give yourself permission to reconnect with yourself — life is full of changes, and with each new chapter there’s an opportunity to rediscover who you are. Whether the kids have grown up and moved out, your career has taken a different path, or your priorities have shifted, it’s important to recognise that you can rediscover yourself at any age or stage in life; it doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 88! Allow yourself to grow and evolve in response to life’s transitions, rather than feeling stuck in an outdated version of yourself. You can do this by first acknowledging that change is a natural part of life and that it’s OK to re-evaluate who you are and what you want. Give yourself the time and space to explore new interests, set new goals, or to simply reflect on how your identity has evolved. It’s never too late to reconnect with your true self and to pursue a life that feels authentic and fulfilling, no matter where you are on your journey. Next… 

Seek professional guidance — sometimes, the journey of self-discovery can benefit from the guidance of a professional like a counsellor or therapist. These types of professionals can provide a safe space for you to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, helping you to uncover deeper insights about who you are, and can offer you structured support and expert advice as you navigate complex emotions or challenges related to your identity… so, try seeking out a counsellor or therapist who specialises in self-exploration or personal growth. Working with a professional can give you the tools and confidence to delve deeper into your self-discovery journey, helping you to understand and embrace your true self more fully.

Summary and Close-out

Because when it comes to figuring out who you are and mental health, what it all boils down to is this:

Figuring out who you really are is a journey that requires patience, reflection, and courage, but the rewards are enormous. This process isn’t about finding a single, definitive answer but more about embracing and celebrating the ongoing evolution of who you are so that you can live more authentically and with greater clarity and purpose. This is ultimately about embracing the most important journey you’ll ever take in your entire life: the journey of becoming the most authentic version of yourself possible.

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by Dolly Parton, and it is:

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”

Dolly Parton

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week!

Support my show on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes and more; you’ll find it linked in the episode description.

And let me know, how do you connect with the real you? If you’re on Spotify you can share in the Comments section below, otherwise let me know on Instagram @ltamentalhealth or on the transcript, which you can have delivered straight to your inbox each week; sign up at ltamh.com or use the link in the episode description. And for more content follow my other Instagram account @itsjeremygodwin. 

Next week I’ll be talking about how to take more risks. Have you ever felt like you’re stuck, even though you’re trying to move forward? It’s a frustrating feeling, isn’t it? We often convince ourselves that sticking to what’s safe and familiar is the way to go but, in reality, it’s the risks we don’t take that keep us trapped in a cycle of sameness. Real progress doesn’t come from doing what you’ve always done; it comes from daring to step into the unknown, where true growth and transformation lie. So, the question is, are you ready to take that leap and start making real progress? Because that’s what I’m exploring next week! I’ll be talking about what taking risks means, why it matters, and how to take smart risks (as well as how to overcome your fear of taking risks in life!).

That episode will be released on the 22nd of September, 2024, and I hope you’ll join me for it! Hit ‘follow’ on your podcast service and press the bell to turn on notifications so you never miss an episode.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world… because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com   

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Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program written and created by me (Jeremy Godwin), and I rely on listeners like you to help with the costs of producing my podcast each week. If you’d like to support my show, you can become a paid subscriber on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes. Thank you!

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TOOLS & RESOURCES FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

My Daily Reflection Tool is a buy-once-use-forever PDF tool that helps you to do the work that will lead to better mental health and well-being. Plus I have a Masterclass Video which is like your own coaching session with me so that you can get the most out of your daily tool. Buy the two as a bundle and save 20% for a limited time! Click the links below for your chosen product(s):

Click here for details of mental health resources in most countries.

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Find more content at www.letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au

Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2024 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.