Are you ready to show yourself more love and kindness? If not, why not?! Because loving yourself more leads to greater self compassion and better mental health. So, if you’re ready to learn how to love yourself unconditionally then let’s talk! 😃

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LISTEN TO THE EPISODE

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Show Notes

Episode Description:

In this episode of Let’s Talk About Mental Health, I’m discussing the importance of self-love and how to cultivate it. We’ll cover practical tips for loving yourself more, including improving your self-talk, setting boundaries, and celebrating your progress. Tune in for actionable advice to help you strengthen your relationship with yourself!

Episode Release Date:
September 1st, 2024

Key Points:

• What does ‘loving yourself more’ mean?
• Why self-love is essential for good mental health
• Practical tips for loving yourself more
• The impact of self-love on your emotional resilience and mental wellbeing

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Episode 235: How to improve your wellbeing
• Episode 237: Judgement and how to deal with it
• Episode 242: How to be more assertive

Quote of the Week:
“You carry so much love in your heart. Give some to yourself.” – Unknown

Call to Action:
Share how you show yourself love in the Comments section on Spotify, or connect with me on Instagram @ltamentalhealth. For more tips, follow @itsjeremygodwin and join my Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes.

Next Week’s Episode:
How to set healthy boundaries — what they are, why they matter, and how to implement them. Scheduled for release on September 8th, 2024 (one week earlier for Official Supporters on Patreon).

Listen, Rate and Follow:
Hit ‘follow’ on your podcast service and turn on notifications. Available on all major services including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, YouTube Music and more.

Connect with Jeremy Godwin:
Find me on Instagram @itsjeremygodwin (and sometimes on Threads at the same handle).

Support the Show:
Become a paid supporter on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes and exclusive content (opens in new window).

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TRANSCRIPT

How to love yourself more

What does ‘loving yourself more’ mean? Why is self love important? And how can you love yourself more?

Well, that’s what I’m talking about in this episode of Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast that makes better mental health simple. 

Ready to build a stronger and healthier relationship with yourself? Then, get comfortable and let’s talk!

Hello and welcome to Episode 247 of Let’s Talk About Mental Health, and thanks for joining me as I talk about how to love yourself more.

I’m Jeremy Godwin, and this isn’t your regular podcast full of interviews and random opinions. I’m a mental health counsellor and writer, and each week I look at one specific aspect of mental health and I teach you simple and practical ways to improve your wellbeing, based on quality research and my own experience of learning to live with anxiety and depression after a breakdown in 2011 that changed my life.

In this episode I’ll be talking about what loving yourself more means, why it matters, and how to love and accept yourself unconditionally.

So, let’s talk!

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Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be your own worst critic? We’re often quick to forgive others but we can be relentlessly harsh on ourselves. Maybe you’ve found yourself stuck in a loop of negative self-talk, or pushing yourself to meet impossible standards. Or maybe you tend to criticise or even bully yourself on a regular basis. The truth is, we tend to be much kinder to others than we are to ourselves… and that can take a serious toll on your mental health and wellbeing. 

But what if you could change that? What if loving yourself more could be the key to unlocking a happier and more balanced life?

Well, today I’m diving into the transformative power of self-love and why it’s something you can’t afford to ignore. This isn’t about being self-absorbed or selfish; it’s about recognising your worth, and treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion you (hopefully) offer to the people you care about the most. Why? Because when you love yourself more, everything else starts to fall into place. You’re better equipped to handle life’s challenges, your relationships improve, and you start to live in a way that truly honours who you are.

So, this week is all about learning how to break free from the cycle of self-criticism so that you can step into a more positive and fulfilling way of being — because you deserve nothing less.

Let’s first get ourselves on the same page with some definitions, and let’s talk about…

What does ‘loving yourself more’ mean?

OK, so, the idea of loving yourself more is about cultivating a deep and genuine sense of self-acceptance and compassion. It’s not about being egotistical or self-centred; instead, it’s about recognising your own worth and treating yourself with the kindness and respect that you’d hopefully offer to someone you care about. 

When I talk about loving yourself more, I’m referring to a mindset where you make your wellbeing a top priority, treat yourself with genuine respect, and allow yourself to embrace who you are — flaws and all. It’s about understanding that you deserve the same level of care and attention that you naturally give to others. This concept of self-love forms the foundation of a healthier relationship with yourself, and it influences every aspect of your life — from the decisions you make, to how you interact with the world around you.

On a practical level, loving yourself more means actively choosing behaviours that reflect self-care and self-respect. That can manifest in various different ways, depending on your needs and your circumstances. For example, it might involve setting boundaries to protect your time and energy (like saying “no” to things that drain you or cause unnecessary stress). It could be as simple as giving yourself permission to rest when you’re tired, rather than forcing yourself to push through in order to meet unrealistic expectations. 

Loving yourself more also means being mindful of the way you talk to yourself — choosing to replace harsh and critical inner dialogue with words of encouragement and understanding. For example, if you make a mistake then, instead of beating yourself up, you can acknowledge it as part of being human and focus on what you can learn from the experience. In essence, loving yourself more is about making choices that honour your value as a person, whether that’s through how you care for your body, manage your emotions, or pursue your goals.

When it comes to your mental health, showing yourself more love plays a crucial role in fostering greater emotional resilience and it affects your overall wellbeing. It’s a protective factor that helps you to navigate life’s challenges with greater ease. For instance, when you love yourself, you’re more likely to engage in activities that support your mental health (like regular exercise, seeking help when you need it, practicing mindfulness, etc.). You’re also less likely to tolerate unhealthy relationships or situations that undermine your sense of self-worth. By loving yourself more, you create a solid foundation for your mental health by reducing the impact of stress, anxiety, and depression. It’s about building a relationship with yourself where you feel valued, supported, and worthy of happiness, which, in turn, makes it easier to cope with the ups and downs of life.

Loving yourself more is about embracing self-compassion, making choices that reflect your inherent worth, and nurturing your wellbeing by consciously choosing positive and supportive behaviours. It’s a journey that requires ongoing effort and mindfulness, but the rewards are enormous. And so, speaking of that, now let’s talk about…

Why does loving yourself matter?

And it matters because the way you feel about yourself lays the groundwork for a fulfilling and balanced life. When you genuinely care for and value yourself, that then has a positive influence on every aspect of your life — from your relationships, through to your decision-making. 

In general terms, loving yourself more allows you to live in a more authentic way, making choices that align with your true desires and building a life for yourself that reflects who you really are. It empowers you to set boundaries (and stick to them), to pursue your passions, and to be resilient in the face of adversity. Without self-love, it’s easy to fall into patterns of self-doubt, overextending yourself, or staying in situations that don’t serve you — essentially living a life that’s more about pleasing others than honouring yourself. In contrast, when you love yourself you’re more likely to trust your instincts, pursue your goals with confidence, and approach challenges with a positive mindset.

From a mental health perspective, loving yourself more is crucial because it directly impacts your emotional resilience and wellbeing. When you have a strong foundation of self-love, you’re better equipped to cope with stress, anxiety, and the inevitable ups and downs of life. For example, if you face a setback or criticism then having a loving approach to yourself helps you to process the situation constructively, rather than spiralling into negative self-talk or self-blame. This kind of self-compassion acts as a buffer against mental health struggles, making it easier to bounce back from difficulties and maintain a greater sense of inner peace. And, beyond that, loving yourself more means being proactive about taking care of your mental health needs — whether that’s seeking out therapy or counselling, practicing mindfulness, or even just giving yourself permission to rest and recharge regularly (or, hopefully, all of the above… and more!). It helps to nurture a mindset where you actively prioritise your mental health and where you also proactively take steps to nurture it regularly, rather than just waiting until things reach a crisis point (and if you want tips specifically for improving your wellbeing then check out Episode 235).

Loving yourself more has a wide range of benefits for all areas of your life. Firstly it enhances your overall quality of life because, when you value yourself, you’re more likely to pursue activities and relationships that bring you joy and fulfilment. You become less tolerant of toxic environments and relationships, and more committed to creating and maintaining a life for yourself that feels genuinely meaningful and satisfying. This sense of self-worth also boosts your confidence and self-esteem, making it easier to take risks, embrace new opportunities, and stand up for yourself when needed. And, over and above that, loving yourself more improves the quality of your relationships with others. When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you’re less likely to rely on others for validation or approval, which can lead to more balanced and mutually respectful connections.

In terms of mental health, the benefits are equally profound. Loving yourself more can reduce the impact of stress and anxiety, because you’re more likely to engage in self-care practices and be proactive about avoiding burnout. It can also help to dilute feelings of depression, as you’re more inclined to treat yourself with kindness and compassion rather than sinking into self-criticism. By cultivating a strong sense of self-love, you can create a mental environment where positive emotions are able to flourish — which makes it easier to maintain a hopeful outlook and navigate life’s challenges with grace.

Loving yourself more sets the stage for a life that is both authentic and mentally healthy. By choosing to love yourself more, and making self-love a priority, you’ll not only be enhancing your day-to-day experience but also investing in your long-term happiness and peace of mind.

So, how do you do all that? Well, let’s first take a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…

AD BREAK [Note: Ads do not play if you have Spotify Premium or are an Official Supporter tier Patreon supporter]

And welcome back! Now let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about… 

How to love and accept yourself unconditionally

OK, so, start by choosing to accept yourself as you are — stop withholding love and kindness from yourself until you reach some distant milestone, like hitting a certain weight or finishing a particular qualification. You are worthy of being loved now, exactly as you are, and loving and accepting yourself unconditionally means embracing who you are, flaws and all, without needing to meet certain standards or conditions to feel worthy of love. This is essential for your mental and emotional wellbeing because it’s about freeing you from the constant pressure you probably put on yourself to be perfect, and it allows you to live fully and authentically instead. When you accept yourself unconditionally, you give yourself the freedom to grow and evolve without being held back by self-criticism or doubt. Start by acknowledging that you are inherently valuable, just as you are. Because you are. Every single one of us on this planet is unique, and it’s our uniqueness that makes us invaluable. We all have something amazing to offer to this world, just by sheer virtue of being ourselves. This type of mindset shift helps enormously because it moves your focus from trying to fix or change yourself to simply appreciating who you are right now. You can practice self-acceptance by consciously speaking to yourself with kindness, especially in moments when you feel vulnerable or insecure. Instead of focusing on what you perceive as your shortcomings, remind yourself of your strengths and the qualities that make you unique. And so that leads to my next tip…

Let go of the need for external validation — which means recognising that your worth isn’t determined by the opinions or approval of other people, but by your own understanding and acceptance of yourself. I mean, that’s not a free pass to act like a monster and make everything about you (because you still need to be a decent person and contribute to society!) but you don’t have to let yourself get so hung up on the judgements of other people… because a lot of people really do have a lot of judgements to pass on others, and realistically what you do with your life is nobody’s business but your own; if you’re not harming anyone (or yourself), then you do you and I wish you all the very best! Focus on regularly affirming your value and worthiness to yourself, regardless of how others may perceive you; positive affirmations can be helpful for this, as can journalling. Over time, having a mindset focused on internal validation will help you build a strong foundation of self-love that isn’t shaken by external factors or the opinions and judgements of others (and I talked about how to deal with judgement in Episode 237). OK, next…

Practice self-compassion — which involves treating yourself with the same type of kindness and understanding you’d offer a close friend. When you make a mistake or face a challenge, instead of harshly criticising yourself try to respond with empathy. This reduces negative self-talk, which can be damaging to your mental health. Acknowledge your feelings without judgement and remind yourself that everyone struggles at times, and choose to value progress over perfection. Self-compassion helps you move forward with a sense of calm and understanding, rather than being weighed down by guilt or shame. Next… 

Choose positive self-talk — the way you speak to yourself has a profound effect on your mental health and self-esteem. Positive self-talk involves consciously choosing to speak to yourself in an encouraging and supportive way, which helps to counteract negative thoughts and reinforces a more positive self-image. Practice positive self-talk by catching yourself when you start to think negatively and intentionally replacing those thoughts with affirmations or gentle reminders of your strengths. For example, instead of saying, “I’m not good enough,” try saying, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.” Over time, this shift in language can transform how you feel about yourself. Next… 

Be true to yourself — embracing your authenticity means accepting who you are, with all your quirks and passions and imperfections, and living in a way that reflects your true self… which then fosters a sense of inner peace and contentment, because you’re no longer trying to fit into someone else’s mould. Regularly check in with yourself and ask, “Am I being true to who I really am?” Make choices that align with your values and passions, and don’t be afraid to stand out. By embracing your authenticity, you can create a life that feels genuinely fulfilling and rooted in self-love. OK, next…

Forgive yourself — we all make mistakes, and holding onto guilt or shame can prevent you from fully loving yourself. Forgiving yourself is about letting go of past regrets and understanding that imperfection is part of being human, which frees you from the emotional burden of self-blame and allows you to move forward with a lighter heart. You can do this by acknowledging your mistakes, consciously learning from them, and then choosing to let them go (which you may have to do more than just once or twice, and that’s OK). Remind yourself that you deserve forgiveness just as much as anyone else, and know that, by forgiving yourself, you’re creating space for self-compassion and growth. Next…

Set healthy boundaries — how you let other people treat you determines how they treat you, so setting clear boundaries is essential for maintaining your mental and emotional wellbeing. That means knowing your limits and being clear with others about what you will and will not accept. Boundaries help protect your time, energy, and emotional space, allowing you to prioritise what truly matters. Identify areas in your life where you might feel overwhelmed or drained, identify what you need to address those areas, and then communicate your needs assertively. For example, if you need time to recharge after a busy week, it’s OK to say no to social plans. Setting boundaries ensures that you’re not overextending yourself and that you’re respecting your own needs. If you need a hand with how to be more assertive, check out Episode 242 (plus I’ll be talking about how to set healthy boundaries in next week’s episode). OK, next…

Surround yourself with positive influences — the people you spend your time with have a significant impact on how you view yourself. Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people helps to reinforce your self-worth and encourages you to love yourself more, because positive influences can uplift your spirits and provide encouragement when you need it most. Seek out relationships that are based on mutual respect and understanding, and distance yourself from toxic or draining interactions. Alright, next…

Prioritise your self-care — which is about taking intentional steps to nurture your body, mind, and spirit. This can include anything from getting enough sleep to spending time doing activities you enjoy. Prioritising your self-care ensures that you’re regularly replenishing your energy and maintaining a sense of balance. Schedule time for yourself each day, whether it’s a few minutes of meditation, a walk in nature, or simply reading a book. Take a moment or two each morning to make a note of a few things you feel grateful for. Practice mindfulness through simple activities like deep breathing, mindful walking, or even just paying close attention to your daily routines and being fully present. By making self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine, you’re sending a message to yourself that your wellbeing is important… which, of course, it is! OK, next… 

Spend time alone — spending time alone is an opportunity to connect with yourself and recharge. In our busy lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the demands of others… but taking time for solitude allows you to focus on your own thoughts, feelings, and needs. It gives you the space to reflect on what truly matters to you, and helps you to build greater self-awareness. Set aside regular moments for solitude, whether that’s a quiet walk in nature, a few minutes of meditation, or simply enjoying a cup of tea by yourself. Spending time alone is a way to nurture your relationship with yourself and ensure that you’re giving yourself the attention you deserve. Next…

Be creative — creativity is a wonderful way to connect with yourself and express your inner world. Whether it’s through art, writing, music, or any other form of creative expression, allowing yourself the freedom to create can be incredibly fulfilling because it offers a healthy outlet for your emotions and encourages self-exploration. Try setting aside time to engage in a creative activity that you enjoy, without worrying about the outcome. The goal isn’t to produce something perfect but to enjoy the process and express yourself freely. Creative expression can be a form of self-care that nurtures your soul and strengthens your connection to yourself. OK, next…

Invest in your personal growth — loving yourself more involves recognising your potential and actively investing in your personal growth and development. That can mean pursuing new skills, setting goals, or seeking experiences that challenge and fulfil you. Personal growth helps to enhance your self-confidence and sense of purpose. Identify areas where you’d like to improve or learn, and then take concrete steps to make progress. Whether it’s enrolling in a course, starting a new hobby, setting aside time for self-reflection, or some other activity, investing in your growth is a powerful way to honour yourself. Next… 

Celebrate your wins — you don’t have to compete at the Olympics to be proud of yourself and your progress; taking time to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, is a powerful way to reinforce self-love because it shifts your focus from what you haven’t done to what you have accomplished, boosting your self-esteem. A simple way to do this is keeping a journal where you write down your daily wins, or just taking a moment at the end of each day to reflect on something you’re proud of. By recognising and celebrating your progress, you can build a more positive image of yourself and motivate yourself to continue moving forward.

Summary and Close-out

Because when it comes to loving yourself more and mental health, what it all boils down to is this:

Loving yourself more isn’t just a nice idea — it’s a powerful and transformative practice that can positively impact every aspect of your life. The key is to be patient with yourself and to take intentional steps to nurture your self-compassion, and to recognise that every effort you make towards loving yourself more is a valuable investment in your happiness and peace of mind. Always remember that you deserve to feel valued, and appreciated, and loved… and that starts and ends with how you treat yourself.

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:

“You carry so much love in your heart. Give some to yourself.”

Unknown

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

How do you show yourself love? If you’re on Spotify scroll down and share in the Comments section below, otherwise let me know on Instagram @ltamentalhealth or comment on the transcript, which you can have delivered to your inbox each week; sign up at ltamh.com or use the link in the episode description. And for more tips follow my other Instagram account @itsjeremygodwin, plus become a paid supporter on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes of all of my podcasts. 

Next week I’ll be talking about how to set healthy boundaries. Boundaries are essential for your mental wellbeing, but they can feel really challenging to put in place… so next time I’m going to explore more of how to set and maintain boundaries so you can reclaim your time and energy. I’ll be talking about what healthy boundaries are, why boundaries are so important, and how to set boundaries (and stick to them!). 

That episode will be released on the 8th of September, 2024, and I hope you’ll join me for it! Hit ‘follow’ on your podcast service and press the bell to turn on notifications so you never miss an episode.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com   

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My Daily Reflection Tool is a buy-once-use-forever PDF tool that helps you to do the work that will lead to better mental health and well-being. Plus I have a Masterclass Video which is like your own coaching session with me so that you can get the most out of your daily tool. Buy the two as a bundle and save 20% for a limited time! Click the links below for your chosen product(s):

Click here for details of mental health resources in most countries.

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Find more content at www.letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au

Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2024 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.