What do you do if you’re going through a rough patch, and how do difficult times affect us? Well, that’s what I’m talking about this week… so, let’s talk! 😃
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How do difficult times affect us? What do you do if you’re going through a rough patch? And how can you handle tough times in life?
Well, that’s what I’m talking about in this episode of Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast that makes better mental health simple.
Ready to learn about what’s involved in getting through difficult times? Then, get comfortable and let’s talk!
Hello and welcome to Episode 246 of Let’s Talk About Mental Health, and thanks for joining me as I talk about handling difficult times.
I’m Jeremy Godwin, and this isn’t your regular podcast full of interviews and random opinions. I’m a mental health counsellor and writer, and each week I look at one specific aspect of mental health and I teach you simple and practical ways to improve your wellbeing, based on quality research and my own experience of learning to live with anxiety and depression after a breakdown in 2011 that changed my life.
In this episode I’ll be talking about what handling tough times means, why tough times feel so challenging, and how to navigate tough times.
So, let’s talk!
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If you’ve ever had the pleasure (or the misfortune) of reading A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, then you’d be familiar with the opening line: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”
Now, for a book published in 1859 it still low-key slaps, as the kids might say, because it’s full of mystery and intrigue, but being set against the backdrop of the French Revolution means that it’s also full of lots of people meeting rather grizzly ends… so, you know, maybe not quite “the best of times” for those particular people.
And that is precisely why I’m starting today with a reference to this little piece of historical fiction (which happens to be considered one of the best-selling novels of all time); whether you’re having a ‘great’ time or a ‘terrible’ one really is just a matter of perspective, and of your own particular circumstances.
While there seem to be some people having a wonderful time at the moment (mostly those with a bank account featuring at least 8 or 9 digits), there are a lot of people doing it tough with the way things are; everything costs a fortune, nobody can agree on anything, and the weather seems to go from ‘lovely’ to ‘insane’ in the blink of an eye.
It’s no real surprise then for me to say that we’re currently living in what feels like unprecedented times (even if we’ve now been saying that for so long that ‘the times’ are probably a lot more precedented than we might like to admit), and there seems to be challenges and difficulties all around us, both at a day-to-day level in our own lives, at a broader social level in many of our own countries, and at a global level.
And I don’t know about you, but there are days that I find it all completely exhausting. I mean, is it just me? Am I the only one who’s had enough of all the crises, calamities, disasters, and drama?! Bearing in mind that one of my top priorities is to live a life free of drama, I’m conscious that maybe I’m a bit more sensitive to the shenanigans and hullaballoos going on here, there, and everywhere lately… but I’m fairly sure I’m not the only one, which is why I decided to write this episode. Plus I’ve been dealing with some personal stuff for a while (mainly family drama, which seems to have finally settled itself into whatever kind of mess it’s going to be), and so I thought it would be helpful to have a bit of a chat this week about how to deal with difficult times (either when the crap hits the fan in your personal life, or when the state of the world has you eating your hair with worry, or just when you’re feeling some type of way about the epidemic of nastiness that’s been spreading through our society for a while now, or all of the above).
I’ll talk about a bunch of effective ways to deal with all this stuff in a bit, but first let’s take a moment to get ourselves on the same page with some definitions and let’s talk about…
What does handling tough times mean?
OK, so we all face difficulties at various points in our lives, whether that’s in terms of personal struggles (like relationship issues, financial stress, health problems, etc.) or broader challenges in the world around us (like natural disasters, economic downturns, social unrest, political upheavals, conflicts, and so on and so forth). Handling tough times means finding ways to navigate these difficulties in a way that maintains your mental and emotional well-being. It’s about recognising that while you can’t always control what happens, you can control how you respond to things. That doesn’t mean just ignoring the pain or pretending everything is fine; instead, it involves acknowledging the difficulties and actively seeking out strategies to manage them effectively.
Life is full of ups and downs, and while we generally cherish the highs (because they feel great), it’s the tough times that often shape our resilience and character. These periods test your mental and emotional strength, pushing you to your limits and often leaving you feeling overwhelmed… but it’s important to remember that tough times are a natural part of life’s journey. They offer you opportunities to learn, to adapt, to grow, and, ultimately, to become a lot more resilient. By understanding what these difficult periods represent to you, you can better prepare yourself to face them with courage and grace.
On a practical level, handling tough times involves a combination of mindset, actions, and support systems. I’ll be talking through those in more detail later, but the main piece I want to emphasise here first and foremost is that dealing with difficulties starts with accepting the situation for what it is. Denial can be a natural reaction to challenging times and difficult situations, but it often just ends up prolonging your suffering. For example, if you’ve lost your job then the first step is to acknowledge the reality of the situation as well as the loss itself and the feelings that come with it. Why? Because acceptance lays the groundwork for taking proactive steps to move forward. The more you deny a situation, or wallow in the problem, the harder it is to find solutions to help you move forward with your life.
When it comes to your mental health, handling tough times effectively is about safeguarding your emotional wellbeing while navigating whatever it is that you’re dealing with directly or indirectly. Stress and anxiety are natural responses to difficult situations, but they can take a toll if they’re not managed properly… and so this is where being proactive about handling things (practically and emotionally) becomes absolutely crucial. When you acknowledge your feelings, and take steps to address them, you’re not just reacting to the situation — you’re taking an active role in how you process things, so you can then respond in a more thoughtful and considered way.
So, with all that in mind, now let’s talk about…
Why tough times feel so challenging
And, I mean, of course they feel challenging… because they are challenging! Anything that throws a spanner in the works and creates chaos and uncertainty is going to feel really tough, because we human beings like comfort and security (and your brain can tend to get fairly annoyed-slash-irritated-slash-terrified if things aren’t neat and tidy and comfortable, because it’s trying to keep you safe).
Tough times disrupt our sense of stability and control. When we face unexpected or difficult situations, it can trigger a range of emotions like fear, anxiety, and sadness, and these emotions come from the uncertainty and unpredictability that come with adversity. Our brains are hardwired to seek safety and predictability, so when something threatens these it naturally causes stress. Plus, tough times often demand us to adapt quickly and make difficult decisions, which can be very mentally and emotionally exhausting.
And, beyond that, during tough times we might feel isolated or unsupported, which can make the sense of it being a difficult challenge even worse. We are inherently social creatures, and so feeling like we don’t have social support can make a difficult situation feel even more overwhelming. This is then potentially made worse by the practical difficulties of whatever we might be dealing with, like financial stress, health issues, interpersonal conflicts, etc. These combined factors make tough times feel particularly challenging, as they impact both our mental and emotional wellbeing, requiring us to have to dig deep into our emotional strength and draw on our resilience and coping strategies (which can be especially tough when it’s something you don’t know how to deal with, or where to even start).
Dealing with difficult times thoughtfully and in a considered manner is essential for maintaining your overall well-being. When life throws challenges your way, your instinct might be to react impulsively or even to avoid the problem altogether. But, approaching these types of situations in a thoughtful way helps you to navigate them more effectively. That means taking a step back, assessing the situation, and choosing a response that is both practical and beneficial in the long run (which can prevent you from making hasty decisions that might lead to further issues down the line). For example, if you lose your job or have problems at work, rushing into the first opportunity that comes along might not be the best long-term solution (trust me on this one, because I did it and things ended up way worse!). Taking the time instead to assess your skills and interests, and then looking for a role that genuinely aligns with them, can lead to a lot more satisfaction and stability in the future.
In general terms, handling tough times with care can lead to more favourable outcomes. It allows you to make well-informed decisions and to respond to challenges in a way that aligns with your values and long-term goals. When you approach difficulties thoughtfully, you’re more likely to consider various perspectives and potential solutions… all of which can lead to better problem-solving. This often involves reflecting on past experiences and learning from them, which can then enhance your resilience over time.
Consciously taking a thoughtful approach to how you deal with difficult times also leads to a greater sense of control and empowerment. When you take the time to understand a situation and plan your response, you’re actively participating in shaping your future rather than simply reacting to circumstances. This can build your confidence and self-belief, making you more equipped to handle challenges in the future. It can also significantly reduce stress and anxiety, which are common reactions to adversity. By approaching problems methodically, you create a sense of structure and predictability, which can be comforting during chaotic times. For example, if you’re dealing with a health issue, understanding your treatment options and planning your steps can alleviate some of the uncertainty and fear associated with the situation (and it can help you to feel more in control).
So, how do you do all that? Well, let’s first take a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…
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And welcome back! Now let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about…
How to navigate tough times
OK, first, accept your emotions — ignoring or suppressing your emotions can lead to increased stress and anxiety, so choose to let yourself feel what you need to feel (which allows you to process what you’re experiencing, rather than bottling it up). Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up, whether it’s sadness, anger, fear, etc. Journaling can be a helpful way to express these emotions and gain insight into your feelings. Next…
Seek support — reaching out to others for support when you need it is crucial, because sharing your burden can provide emotional relief and practical assistance. Talk to friends or family members about what you’re going through, or seek professional help from a counsellor or therapist. Joining a support group where you can connect with others facing similar challenges can also be incredibly beneficial. Like I said recently in Episode 243 (about the power of talking), “The more you talk about it, the easier it gets.” OK, next…
Focus on what you can control — shifting your focus to aspects of the situation that you can directly control can reduce feelings of helplessness, because it empowers you to take actionable steps. Identify what actions you can take and then concentrate on those. For example, if you’re worried about health issues, focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle and following medical advice rather than fixating on the uncertainty. Next…
Break down the problem — breaking a challenge down into smaller steps can make it feel less overwhelming, because it allows you to focus on one step at a time which makes the overall situation seem more manageable. Start by identifying the core problem and then list the smaller tasks or steps needed to address it. For example, if you’re dealing with financial issues, first create a budget, then identify expenses to cut, then explore additional income sources, etc. Next…
Stay informed but not inundated — and this is mostly for those bigger events that happen in the world. Staying informed about what’s happening, especially in the context of global or local crises, is important, but too much exposure to negative news can be detrimental. Nobody needs rolling 24/7 news coverage. Well, nobody who wants to keep their sanity intact! Stay aware without becoming overwhelmed. Try setting specific times to check news updates and avoiding constant news consumption. Focus on reputable sources, and balance it with positive or uplifting content. You might even find it helpful to just read the news online (from an objective news source); just remember that most news services are commercial, in that they rely on our eyeballs to generate advertising revenue. And how do they keep our eyes on their content? By focusing on negativity and scandal, because that’s what keeps our attention more. Most news services aren’t there to give you the news; they’re there to make money. Never forget that fact, because what type of news you consume will determine how you view the world. OK, moving on, my next tip is…
Look after yourself — taking care of yourself is absolutely vital when dealing with difficult times, because it replenishes your physical and emotional energy and makes you more resilient. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat nutritious foods, and engage in physical activity; exercise is a powerful tool for managing stress and improving mood, because physical activity releases endorphins which are natural mood lifters. Incorporate regular exercise into your routine, whether it’s a daily walk, yoga, cycling, or joining a fitness class; even just dancing around your living room to get the energy out can make a huge difference. Or you could even try a simple activity like stretching to boost your mood and energy levels. On top of all that, remember to make time for activities you enjoy — whether it’s reading, gardening, listening to music, etc. — so that you can nurture your wellbeing; you can’t fill from an empty cup, and so you need to make time to recharge yourself physically and emotionally in order to keep going. OK, next…
Find meaning and purpose — I know it’s tough, but choosing to find meaning and purpose in your experiences can provide a sense of direction and motivation because it can turn challenging times into opportunities for growth and learning. When I chose to start looking at my breakdown (and subsequent depression and anxiety) as something I could turn into a positive, by using it to help other people (like how I do with this podcast), I finally felt more in control of things. Consciously look for the opportunity in the situation, and reflect on what you can learn from the situation or how you can use your experiences to help others. I talked about reframing last week in Episode 245 so you’ll find that helpful too. Next…
Limit alcohol and substance use — while it might be tempting to turn to alcohol or other substances for relief, they can make you more stressed and anxious. Maintaining a clear mind allows you to handle situations more effectively, so set limits on your consumption, find healthier ways to unwind (like reading or practicing mindfulness), and seek support if you’re struggling with substance use. Next…
Keep a gratitude journal — consciously focusing on gratitude can shift your perspective and improve your outlook, because it encourages you to notice and appreciate the positive aspects of your life. Keep a daily journal where you write down a few things you’re grateful for each day, and reflect on these things regularly to remind you of all the good things in your life. Next…
Practice positive self-talk — the way you talk to yourself can significantly impact your mood and resilience (not to mention your self-worth). Consciously choosing positive self-talk can boost your confidence and reduce negative thoughts. You can do this by being mindful of your inner dialogue and challenging negative thoughts when they arise. Replace them with positive affirmations and reminders of your strengths and past successes. OK, next…
Volunteer your time — helping others can provide a sense of purpose and fulfilment, because it shifts your focus away from your own problems and fosters a greater sense of community and contribution. You can do this by finding local volunteer opportunities, whether it’s helping at a food bank, supporting a local charity, or offering your skills to those in need. Remember: even small acts of kindness can make a big difference. Next…
Have a ‘reset’ routine — when you’re feeling particularly stressed or overwhelmed, having a go-to reset routine can help by providing a structured way to regain a sense of calm. Developing a routine for yourself that includes healthy activities you enjoy like deep breathing exercises, taking a short walk, listening to a favourite calming song, practicing a few minutes of meditation, etc., and practice this routine whenever you need to reset your mental state. OK, next…
Create a ‘comfort corner’ — designate a specific area in your home as a ‘comfort corner’ for yourself where you can retreat when you need a break, which can provide you with a safe and calming space where you can unwind. Fill the corner with things that soothe you, like soft blankets, pillows, a favourite book, or a diffuser with calming essential oils, and spend some time there whenever you need to recharge and escape from stress. OK, next…
Have a ‘digital detox’ day — taking a break from screens and social media can do wonders for your mental health, because it reduces the constant stream of noise and influx of information and potential sources of stress. Designate one day a week as a digital detox day and spend the day engaging in offline activities like reading, hiking, or spending quality time with loved ones, and notice how it affects your mood and stress levels. Taking time completely for yourself, without the constant flood of information being thrown your way daily, can be enormously relaxing and empowering. And so that leads to my next tip…
Adopt a ‘no-drama’ policy — establishing personal boundaries to avoid drama and shenanigans in your life is crucial for maintaining your peace of mind, because it keeps you focused on what matters and reduces unnecessary stress. Clearly define what behaviours or situations you’ll avoid, both in real life and online, then politely disengage from gossip, arguments, or negative discussions, and focus on positive interactions instead. Next…
Seek professional help when needed — recognising when you need professional support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Therapists and counsellors can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to talk, so reach out to a mental health professional if you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed. There’s no shame in seeking help, and it can make a significant difference in how you navigate tough times.
Summary and Close-out
Because when it comes to tough times and mental health, what it all boils down to is this:
Facing tough times can be challenging, but with the right strategies and a proactive approach you can navigate through them with resilience and grace. It’s not just about getting through challenges but doing so in a way that sets you up for greater resilience and peace of mind. Take time to think things through, and respond rather than just reacting. You’re the one in control, and even in adversity there’s always a path to calm and clarity.
The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today?
Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and it is:
“There is meaning in every journey that is unknown to the traveller.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.
How do you deal with tough times? If you’re on Spotify scroll down and share in the Comments section below, otherwise let me know on Instagram @ltamentalhealth or comment on the transcript, which you can have delivered to your inbox each week; sign up at ltamh.com or use the link in the episode description. And for more tips follow my other Instagram account @itsjeremygodwin, plus become a paid supporter on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes of all of my podcasts.
Next week I’ll be talking about how to love yourself more. Your relationship with yourself is the longest you’re ever going to have in your life… so why then do so many of us choose to turn that relationship into a non-stop self-bullying stress-a-palooza?! Learning to show yourself greater kindness and compassion, and focusing more on your strengths than your perceived flaws, will make an enormous difference to the way you feel about life… and so that’s what I’m going to be talking about next time! I’ll be talking about what loving yourself more means, why it matters, and how to love and accept yourself unconditionally.
That episode will be released on the 1st of September, 2024, and I hope you’ll join me for it! Hit ‘follow’ on your podcast service and press the bell to turn on notifications so you never miss an episode.
Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!
Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com
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