Let’s Talk About… Intentions

By Jeremy Godwin

What are intentions, and how do they help you to have better mental health? That’s what I’m talking about this week on… Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast about looking after your mental health, with simple ideas you can put into practice immediately. So, get comfortable, and Let’s Talk About Mental Health…

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This podcast episode was originally released on 7 August, 2022.

Hello and welcome to Episode 143, and thanks so much for joining me as I talk about intentions and mental health!

I’m Jeremy Godwin and I talk about looking after your mental health. I spent most of the 2010’s dealing with severe anxiety and depression, after a breakdown in late 2011, and that led me to want to learn more about my mental health… so I went back to school and studied psychology and sociology, and now I share simple tips for how to improve your mental wellbeing, from someone who actually understands what it’s like to go through mental health challenges. Each episode I look at how to improve one specific aspect of your wellbeing.

In this episode I’ll be talking about what intentions are (and what they are not), why understanding your intentions matters, and how to manage your intentions for the sake of your mental health.

Before I jump in to this topic, a reminder that my book Let’s Talk About Mental Health (Volume One) is available now so that you can work on improving your mental health at any time of the day or night at your own pace! You can buy it in print from Amazon worldwide or as an eBook from Amazon or Apple Books, and it’s linked in the episode description.

Alright, let’s talk about intentions!

Introduction

A couple of weeks ago, I had started my week on Monday morning with several intentions including running some errands in the morning and then creating some new content for my YouTube channel. All pretty standard, right? Wrong! One of those errands involved getting my fourth COVID vaccination and, unfortunately, I ended up being one of the people who had side effects including extreme tiredness, headaches, muscle pain and joint pain… in short, all my intentions quickly went out the window, because within just a few hours of having the shot I felt like I had been hit by a truck.

Here’s the thing though: I got through it with ease and a lack of stress, even though I had to drop a whole bunch of work (including taking two weeks off from my YouTube videos and my daily Life Advice That Doesn’t Suck videos that I post over on my @jeremygodwinofficial account on Instagram) because of the other type of intention I had set for myself that day: an intention to meet whatever came my way with patience, grace and kindness. 

So before I get too far ahead of myself, let’s first go through some definitions and let’s talk about…

What are intentions?

And, as I mentioned, there are two main types of intentions. First, it describes specific things you plan to do (like go to the shops or paint your house or whatever), and secondly it can describe your desires; the things you aspire to have and be. It’s this second definition that I’m going to be primarily focusing on in this episode, because there is a lot to be said for how setting clear and thoughtful intentions can help you to grow (which I’ll come back to in a bit).

Before we go any further, let’s just talk for a moment about what intentions are not: they are not magic wishes that guarantee you the outcome you desire (if only they were!), but they are a very good place to start in terms of framing your focus and helping to steer you towards turning your hopes and dreams into reality. 

Think of intentions as being a form of direction setting; it’s about deciding where you’re heading and why (so that you can then be more thoughtful and considered as you work through the how).  I say that because intentions don’t automatically mean that something just happens; you also have to do the work. You can ‘intend’ to climb the mountain all you want, but it’s not going to happen if you just stay at home… well, unless you live on the top of a mountain already, in which case I stand corrected and you can feel free to insert your own blunt-yet-inspiring analogy here!

There are lots of different ways to approach the idea of setting intentions, but I like to keep things simple so here’s mine: who do I want to be? It’s a big question that goes to the heart of the whole self-development and personal growth thing that I talk about a lot in this show, which is to strive to take small steps each day towards being the very best version of yourself possible. 

For me, a big piece of that involves spending a little time each morning to think about how I want to go about my day and why. This is actually something I do each morning before I get out of bed; my cat, Igor, likes to come and snuggle in my arms before I get up (I know, cute right?!) and so while I’m giving him his morning cuddles I think about what I have happening for the rest of the day and what my intentions are. For example, where I have client appointments then my intention is to be kind, supportive and nurturing, and where I have video editing work to do then my intention is to be creative and considered in my approach. So, effectively what I’m describing here is really thinking about how I want to move through the world and what energy I want to put out (and I covered energy back in Episode 67). That might sound a little new age and woo-woo to some, but think of it this way: if the way you speak to someone can have a direct influence on their emotions (and yours), then why wouldn’t you take a few moments to be thoughtful about how you want to approach each interaction? 

There’s also a broader thought process in terms of what I want to achieve and why, which is more outcome-focused, but for me a lot of that also comes back to how I want to go about achieving that and why I make that choice. For example, with this podcast I had an intention from very early on that I didn’t want to have ads or sponsorships. Now, I can’t control what the podcast platforms do (and I’ve noticed that some of them seem to insert ads even though I have the option switched off, and that’s a whole other conversation), but my point here is that I set that intention for the part that I have control over and I did that because the idea of jamming in advertising just didn’t feel right to me (sure, I promote my own work but that’s different — it’s not like I’m sitting here talking about emotions and then two seconds later telling you about a brand-new car that’s going to change your life!). Honestly, this might seem a bit like one of those random rants that I tend to go on sometimes (that’s the joy of having your own podcast; you can say whatever you want!) but I really do feel like there is a point to be made here about how setting clear intentions about who you want to be and what you want out of life helps you to be more in tune with what truly matters to you. Which, funnily enough, brings me to the next part of this topic; so, let’s talk about…

Why understanding your intentions matters

And I’ll keep this one simple: it matters because it’s about understanding what you want and why, as well as what you don’t want and why… and I think it’s the ‘why’ part that matters most, because your ‘why’ helps to make your motivations clear. 

For example, think about drama. If you set an intention that you don’t want to be involved in drama, whether it’s at work or at home (or both), because of the negative effect it can have on your mental health and wellbeing, that’s going to heavily influence the choices you make and what you do or do not do. There might be certain people who seem to be drama-magnets, and so setting that intention is going to change how you view them and how you choose to connect with them; it could even influence whether or not you allow them into your life. So, as you can see from that one example, your intentions can really shape what happens next and how you approach your relationships, your work, yourself and even the world in general; I set an intention a long time ago that I didn’t want to be exposed to the hysterical and negative news media, and now I haven’t watched the news in well over a decade (I still read news articles online, but I limit it to once a day so that my head doesn’t explode). 

Setting intentions allows you to take ownership of your choices and how you live your life, and it’s that ‘how’ piece that really matters because it involves making more thoughtful choices that are in line with your needs and your values (two topics I covered recently in Episode 137 and Episode 138 respectively). 

Intention-setting can feel more meaningful than just goal-setting, because it turns the focus back on to you and the choices you make. You’ve probably heard the expression “action without thought is like shooting without aim,” and intentions allow you to match what you do (or don’t do) with your priorities and your general sense of purpose. 

So, how do you do all of that? Well, let’s get into the how-to part of this episode and let’s talk about…

How to manage your intentions for the sake of your mental health

OK, let’s start with one of my all-time favourite bits of advice and that is to identify what matters most to you — because, really, the stuff that matters should be what we spend the bulk of our time focusing on if we want to feel satisfied and fulfilled in life… otherwise, what’s the point? If it matters to you, make it matter; set clear intentions for yourself about how that will look and feel (for example, it might mean making sure you leave work at a decent hour so you can spend time with your loved ones), and honour your intentions by following through on them consistently. Which leads to my next point…

Decide who you want to be and why — because we can all easily slip into default behaviours (mine is a cranky old man who has no patience and gets annoyed at the slightest inconvenience), and you can either go along with those defaults (which will usually create a mess) or you can set intentions that are more in line with who you want to be and then use that to guide what you do and say… and those are intentions that you’re probably going to have to set at least once a day, if not more frequently; this is not a ‘set it and forget it’ exercise and it’s going to take time, effort and perseverance. Look, let me level with you: most of this episode has really been about encouraging you to decide on what type of person you want to be and then making choices accordingly by setting your intentions in line with who you want to be. For example, if I want to be kinder and more patient, then setting intentions around that will serve to keep me focused and also much more aware of what I do and say that might not be in line with that intention. OK, next…

Be really clear about your intentions — and this is just basically my way of saying to be specific rather than vague, because ‘vague’ leaves too much room for interpretation and even manipulation. I said earlier about the work example, and I’ll run with that again here; if your intention is to prioritise time with your loved ones over your work, that’s a lot more specific than just saying something like ‘have better work/life balance’ (which is an expression I kind-of hate because it’s used and abused in the corporate sector, but enough about my issues for the time being!). When you can really hone in on what your intentions are, it helps you to be able to visualise them and really feel your way through them which, in turn, helps you to feel more connected to them and to give them greater focus and attention. And speaking of focus, my next point is…

Remember that what you focus on is what you focus on — and so whether you focus on the positive or the negative, what you look for is what you will find (which I discussed in the positivity episode back in Episode 90). You can either focus on what you don’t want or what you do want, and I find that it’s the choice of focus that makes a huge difference in what happens next. So, instead of setting negatively-worded intentions (like ‘I don’t want to work 60-plus hours a week’), instead turn your focus towards positively-worded intentions (such as ‘I want to prioritise time for my loved ones and my own self care’). It’s a simple shift that helps you to reframe your attention towards a more positive outlook on things, which can then help you to find more positives (since, again, what you look for is what you find). And that continues on into my next point, which is…

Choose your mindset — because all you have direct control over is yourself and what you choose to do and say, as well as what you choose to do with your feelings… and, frankly, that’s all the control you really need! Choosing your mindset means letting go of trying to control things you can never control, like other people (and I talked about that in Episode 48, about control), and it also means adopting a mindset that is more solution-focused than problem-focused — where you focus on ‘can’ rather than ‘cannot’ — because, like I said in the last point, it helps you to find more and more to be positive about (which feels a lot better than being negative and miserable!). I talked about mindset back in Episode 31, so you might find that helpful. Alright, next…

Think about the bigger picture — because a lot of the things that happen on a day-to-day basis are actually fairly minor and they won’t be things we remember in five months, let alone in five years. This involves having a broad sense of the direction you’re heading in (and why), and then setting intentions that are focused on keeping you on track instead of allowing yourself to get distracted by all the noise that will compete for your attention on a daily basis. And that leads to my next point… 

Understand your motivations — because being able to really dig in to what your intentions are and why they matter to you requires you to have a high degree of honesty with yourself and self awareness (which I covered in Episode 62). I’ve also covered some other topics that might be helpful in terms of understanding what drives you: motivation in Episode 117 and dreams in Episode 76, and also the future in Episode 100 (because that one was very much about getting you to think about where you want to head in the future and why, so it can really help you as part of that intention-setting process). OK, next…

Consider what makes you feel joyful — because if something doesn’t, what’s the point?! I don’t think life needs to be all rainbows and unicorns 24/7, because it won’t be (reality is a pain in the butt like that), but part of building a life for yourself that feels satisfying and fulfilling involves making choices that bring more joy into your life while also removing things that take away from those feelings; life is far too precious to waste it feeling miserable, so if something makes you feel like that then I’m hoping that your intentions involve running in the opposite direction as fast as you possibly can! I covered satisfaction in Episode 110, fulfilment in Episode 114 and joy in Episode 93, so check those out for more tips on how to do all of that; my point here is to set intentions that elevate your life and which help you to experience greater joy and satisfaction. OK, next…

Be realistic (but challenge yourself) — and this is a tough one in the sense that I am an eternal optimist, but I’m also a realistic optimist (and I covered optimism in Episode 47). I’m self-aware enough to know that I am never going to run a marathon, for example, because I am just not that person (although it would be great if I were, but it’s just never going to happen), but I can certainly set more realistic intentions for myself which also serve to push myself more and more out of my comfort zone; doing so helps you to grow and it helps you to build your skills, knowledge and capabilities over time, something you’re less likely to do if you don’t push yourself out of your comfort zone. And that actually leads into my next point, which is…

Keep it simple — because it’s so easy to overcomplicate things or to try to take on 50 different things at once, but it’s generally the simplest approach that works the best because we can then just focus our energy and attention on a handful of intentions, which increases your likelihood of turning intention into reality. I generally try to limit my focus to no more than three to five things at any given time; anything more than that and my brain begins going off on tangents (I mean, to be fair it does that anyway, but it’s even worse when I’m trying to focus on too many things at once — I can’t even write and talk at the same time). This might sound really random (so bear with me) but it’s the reason why I’ve started listening to lo-fi music with my headphones on while I’m writing these episodes, because it blocks out everything else in a really simple way and helps me to really focus on the writing (and in case you’re interested, my music of choice is the LoFi Girl channel on YouTube). Simplicity really does help you to narrow your focus down to what really matters the most, which as I said earlier is very helpful for intention-setting, and I talked about simplicity back in Episode 63 so that might be helpful for you to review. Alright, so my next point is…

Write it out — because it’s one thing to have these thoughts in your head, but writing out your intentions (whether that’s with pen and paper, or just on your phone) really helps you to become clearer and more focused on what they are and why they matter to you (and at this point I’m starting to realise that maybe this episode should have been subtitled ‘clear, focused and what matters to you’ because I’ve said those three things about a thousand times so far!). Another way you can do this is to visualise them; there’s a reason why vision boards are so popular because they can help you to quickly ‘see’ what your intentions look like (and that’s something you can create either physically or digitally — I won’t cover how to do it here because there are about 12 million YouTube videos and blog posts out there so I’d say the topic has been fairly well covered!). Moving on, my next point is…

Make intention-setting a daily practice — and, like I said earlier, I do mine every morning now as part of my waking-up routine, and I’ve found it makes a massive difference in terms of how I choose to approach the day and the choices that I make. It’s not an exact science, and you’re probably going to drop the ball along the way, but when that happens be patient with yourself and strive to learn from your mistakes, because that’s how you grow. And speaking of growth, my next point is…

Review your progress and refine as necessary — because I already mentioned a while back in this episode that this isn’t just a ‘set it and forget it’ thing that you do once and then it’s all finished; it’s going to take time, effort and perseverance, and part of that involves reviewing what is working and what isn’t so that you can make changes as needed. Plus I encourage you to remember that circumstances change, whether that’s your own circumstances or just the world in general, so your intentions and plans need to change accordingly (and if you need some help with planning, I covered that topic back in Episode 113). And that leads to my next point…

Get support if you need it — and I say this mainly because support, in general, is always better than no support (because you don’t have to go through challenges on your own, and nor should you), however this is especially relevant if you’re struggling with matching your intentions to your actions; sometimes the going gets tough, and that is when the tough get help. There’s absolutely no shame in admitting that you’re struggling; in fact, I’d say that asking for help is probably the bravest thing anyone can do. If your intentions are to be better and do better, that’s not a journey you need to go through on your own… so, ask for support.

Summary and Close-Out

Because when it comes to intentions and mental health, what it all boils down to is this: What you do with your life and how you make your way through this world is entirely up to you; it is the choices you make that will shape what happens next. Your intentions help to guide those choices; when you set intentions that are in line with the type of person you want to be and which factor in the direction you want to head in, you begin to make more and more choices that are in line with what truly matters most to you. Intentions are not magic wishes, but they can help you to do and be whatever you want… that’s because your intentions are like a road map to guide you as you go about your day. When you choose to be thoughtful and considered in your intentions, you can start to create a future for yourself that feels more authentic and inspiring.

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by writer Alan Cohen, and it is:

“When your intention is clear, so is the way.”  

Alan Cohen

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

Next week I’ll be talking about capability. Who are you and what are you capable of? It’s a question that we might sometimes ask ourselves, but I think that for a lot of us we probably don’t ask it enough because we can easily fall into our comfort zone. But do you know what happens in comfort zones? You stay comfortable. And that is the exact opposite of what you need to grow! So next time I’m going to be challenging you to tap into your capabilities more and to stretch them in multiple different ways. I’ll be talking about what capabilities are (and what they’re not), why considering them thoughtfully matters, and how to build your capabilities for better mental health. 

I hope you’ll join me for that episode, which will be released on Sunday the 14th of August, 2022. 

In the meantime, you’ll find more content about better mental health in my book, Let’s Talk About Mental Health (Volume One); you can buy it now in print or eBook from Amazon or buy the eBook from Apple Books and it’s linked in the episode description, or visit my website at letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au.

Watch my weekly videos on YouTube for more tips on better mental health, plus sign up to my mailing list for my free weekly newsletter, Thursday Thoughts, where I share a quick dose of inspiration (and those are all linked in the episode description).

And if you find my content helpful then I’d love it if you joined me on Patreon where I offer exclusive benefits for my supporters. Plus you can find me on Instagram @ltamentalhealth and say hi!

Thank you very much for joining me today — look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness in the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Jeremy 🙂

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media, helping you find gratitude and meaning. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com

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Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Simple ideas for better mental health.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2022 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or a mental health professional if you are struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.