There’s a lot more to emotional wellbeing than you think you know, and it holds the key to better mental health… which is why we’re talking about it this week. So, Let’s Talk About Mental Health!

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About this episode:

What are your emotions trying to tell you?

It’s a question most of us don’t stop to ask ourselves that often… usually because we’re too busy pushing our feelings aside, or trying to keep it all together.

But the truth is, every emotion you feel is telling you something.

And when you don’t pay attention, you’re missing out on the valuable insights your emotions can offer (not to mention neglecting your own emotional needs 🥺).

That’s what emotional wellbeing is really about. It’s not about being happy all the time, or never losing your cool. It’s about learning how to tune in to what’s going on inside you and responding in a way that’s calm, clear, thoughtful, grounded.

That takes practice.

But it also makes life feel a whole lot less chaotic.

Because when you start paying attention to your emotional wellbeing, everything else begins to shift. You understand yourself more. You react less. You make better decisions. And you feel less like you’re being pushed and pulled by everything around you.

This week’s episode of the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast is all about the power of looking after your emotional wellbeing: what it actually means, why it matters so much for your mental health, and how to start working with your emotions instead of against them.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your feelings… or ashamed of them… or like you’re just not very “good” at emotions… this one’s for you.

👉 Ready to learn
how to stop reacting to your emotions and start responding thoughtfully instead? Then let’s talk!

🎧 Listen or watch now: The truth about emotional wellbeing

The full episode is out now. Watch it, listen to it, or read the full transcript below, and have a great week!

Jeremy 😃

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Episode Transcript:

The truth about emotional wellbeing

When did your feelings become something to be ashamed of?

Because there’s this almost unspoken rule that emotions are messy and inconvenient, or that showing your emotions makes you weak.

But here’s what no one tells you: your emotions are trying to help you.

They’re information, and when you learn how to listen to them properly, that’s when they become one of the most powerful tools you have.

I’m a counsellor who’s lived through burnout, anxiety, and depression, and I’m here to help you understand what emotional wellbeing really means, and how to stop fighting your emotions so you can start actually feeling better.

So let’s talk about emotional wellbeing!

Welcome to Let’s Talk About Mental Health, the show that teaches you how to improve your mental health.

I’m Jeremy Godwin, and this week I’m talking about what emotional wellbeing means and how to work with your emotions… instead of treating them like a problem.

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a much clearer understanding of what emotional wellbeing looks and feels like in everyday life, why it matters for good mental health, and how you can start tuning into your emotions in a way that helps you to feel more calm and in control without getting caught up in them.

So let’s get ourselves on the same page before we go any further, and let’s talk about…

What is emotional wellbeing?

Let’s begin with the big picture.

Emotional wellbeing is about how you relate to your emotions, how you understand them, how you process them, how you respond to them, and most importantly, how you manage them over time.

So… we all have emotions, whether they’re obvious or more subtle, and our emotions affect our mood as well as the way that we behave. 

Now… while your feelings are not facts, they do serve as important messengers. For example, they tell you when you’re not feeling great about a situation or when something isn’t quite right.

And so the goal here is to find a healthy balance between listening to your emotions, and honouring them, with taking a considered a mindful approach to the way that you do that.

Now, the main thing that we need to bear in mind is that our emotions generally play a huge role in what we say and do, even when we might be trying not to let our emotions get in the way.

It’s about not only understanding what’s going on for you emotionally, so that you can then respond in a thoughtful way rather than just reacting based on pure emotions, but it’s also about finding a healthy balance between your emotions and your rational, logical mind.

Now… that doesn’t mean that you have to force yourself to be happy all the time, or that you can never feel upset; you’re not a robot after all! It’s actually about how you handle whatever emotions come up in a conscious way. Because when you just let your emotions take over, that’s usually when you wind up creating a big old mess.

Further to that, the piece here is about ensuring that your emotions are actually being honoured and that your needs, your emotional needs, are being met. And we’re going to talk about why that matters and how to do it a little bit later.

Before we do, let’s discuss what emotional wellbeing isn’t.

So it isn’t the same as your mental wellbeing, and it can be really easy to confuse ’emotional wellbeing’ with ‘mental wellbeing’. Sure, they’re closely linked, but really they’re not the same thing. ‘Mental wellbeing’ is more about your overall psychological state: your thoughts, your focus, your cognitive health. ‘Emotional wellbeing’ is much more about your feelings, what you experience emotionally, how deeply it affects you, and how you process those feelings. You can be mentally well and still struggling emotionally, and vice versa.

So when we talk about your emotional wellbeing, it’s really about self-awareness and self-regulation. Good emotional wellbeing means being aware of what you’re feeling and also being able to name those feelings without being overwhelmed by them. And then it’s also about being able to identify why you feel the way that you do, as in: what’s going on underneath the surface and what’s really contributing to the way you feel… instead of just reacting to the surface-level emotion.

It also means knowing how to respond to those feelings in a healthy way that works for you, whether that’s learning to sit with a feeling, or expressing it in a healthy way, or learning how to make decisions that reflect what you truly need.

Now, emotional wellbeing is about working with your emotions instead of against them. Many of us were raised to push our emotions down or to see them as a weakness, especially when we’re talking about things like sadness, fear, or anger. But emotional wellbeing means recognising that emotions aren’t inherently bad or wrong; they’re signals, and learning to work with those signals and understand what they’re trying to tell you is what actually helps you to navigate life much more calmly and clearly.

Healthy emotional wellbeing doesn’t mean that you feel good all the time… if only! What it means is knowing how to respond to your feelings in practical ways that serve you and set you up for greater success, and whether that’s in your relationships, in terms of your mental health, in your career, at work, you know, all of those different elements, or just generally in your life.

Good emotional health, really, it looks like being able to pause and reflect before you just react. It looks like giving yourself space to feel what you need to feel, without judgment or self-criticism… but also without getting sucked down into a vortex of negative emotions. And all of that helps you to be honest with yourself and to focus on what really matters, because your emotions are signals that are telling you what really matters. And good emotional wellbeing feels more steady, more grounded; like you’re no longer at the constant mercy of every single emotional wave that hits you.

And so that leads to the next part of this episode…

Why emotional health matters

Your emotions are the first thing you feel and they shape everything that comes after. So before a conscious thought even has time to form in your mind, your body often reacts to things emotionally… on a really visceral level. And that reaction colours your thinking. It affects your decisions and your behaviour, and it has a direct impact on your relationships.

Now, that emotional reaction happens first because your brain is wired for survival. The part that’s responsible for processing your emotions, the limbic system, reacts much faster than the thinking part of your brain, which is your prefrontal cortex, so you feel before you think. It’s your brain’s way of scanning for threats, or trying to figure out the meaning of things, and it happens well before any kind of logical and rational thought kicks in; even more so when you’re in a heated emotional situation, like an argument.

And if you’re not aware of that emotional process, or you’re constantly ignoring what you feel, then it can quietly, or not so quietly, start to run the show in the background.

When your emotional wellbeing is neglected, it kind of ‘ripples’ outwards in a way that touches every part of your life, often without you even realising it.

When your emotional wellbeing is out of balance, you might find that you tend to bottle things up, or maybe you find yourself feeling constantly overwhelmed by how you feel. It might show up as emotional outbursts, or numbness, or irritability, or perhaps it’s difficulty coping with stress.  You might also feel like your emotions are controlling you. Maybe you feel like you don’t feel much at all. None of this is a personal failure. It’s simply a sign that something needs attention.

Emotional stress builds up over time, and it doesn’t just magically disappear. When you ignore your feelings, or when you go and push them aside, they don’t just go away. They’re still there, and they’re piling up quietly… and eventually they show up as anxiety, burnout, depression, or even physical health issues.

This stuff doesn’t magically sort itself out. You have to do something about it. If you want to protect your mental health, you have to deal with what you’re feeling and we’ll talk about how to do that shortly.

Poor emotional health keeps you stuck in reactive mode. When you’re not managing your emotions well, or when you’re not giving yourself the time and space you need to process things, that’s when you tend to either explode… or go the other direction entirely, and just shut down completely. Maybe you might snap at people. You’ll probably overthink. You’ll even potentially withdraw. And you’ll likely find that your life starts to feel as though it’s happening to you.

But when you’re in touch with your emotions, and when you manage them in a healthy and balanced way, that’s when you’ll be able to respond much more thoughtfully to situations, both external and internal, instead of just reacting… and that’s where real self-control and genuine peace of mind come from. That’s when you’ll be able to create healthier connections with the people around you. And it’s when you’ll be able to handle conflict much more effectively.

Because good mental health isn’t just about what you think. It’s about how you feel.

A lot of people focus on trying to think more positively or ‘fix’ their mindset… but then they tend to ignore how they’re actually feeling.

But the thing is, your emotional state often drives your mental state.

When you start to listen to your emotions, and respond to them thoughtfully, instead of judging them or avoiding them, that’s when you can create real change from the inside out. Building your emotional awareness and learning how to process things properly creates the foundation for every other type of wellbeing.

So how do you do all that? Well, that’s exactly what we’ll be talking about right after this quick break!

[AD BREAK]

And welcome back!

Now we’re going to get into the how to part of today’s episode. So let’s talk about…

How to work with your emotions

I’m going to walk you through a number of tips based around five key themes, and we’re going to start with awareness and acceptance, which is about recognising and understanding your emotions and learning how to be more accepting without judgment. Now, these tips come first because they lay the foundation and they help you to become much more emotionally self-aware… which is always the first step to change. First…

Acknowledge what you feel, instead of pushing it away. Stop pretending you’re fine when you’re not. Ignoring your emotions doesn’t make them disappear, like I said earlier… it just delays the impact. When you’re honest with yourself and you say something to yourself like, “I’m feeling angry at the moment,” or “I’m feeling sad,” that’s when you create space for that emotion to be processed rather than suppressed. That one step, naming what’s going on, is where true emotional clarity begins. Next…

Learn to sit with your emotions, instead of just reacting to them. When an emotion shows up, your first instinct might be to either push it down or act on it right away. But reacting too quickly often leads to regret, or it makes things worse. Instead, take a couple of deep breaths and give yourself a few moments to just feel the feeling without needing to fix it. Emotions are like waves: they rise, they peak, and they pass. So if you can sit with the discomfort, rather than just jumping into action or immediately shutting down, that’s when you can give yourself time to process things… which then helps you to respond with intention. Next…

Label your emotions… and be specific. It’s one thing to say you feel bad… but what does that actually mean? Because ‘feeling bad’ could mean that you’re anxious, frustrated, ashamed, disappointed… the list goes on, and those are all very, very different things emotionally speaking. So the more specific you can be about what it is that you’re actually feeling, the easier it is to then understand what’s really going on underneath the surface. Being able to get yourself to this sort of emotional granularity really helps you to get to the root cause of the feeling. And when you know what that is, you can be much smarter about how you respond instead of just reacting to the surface level issue. Next…

Check the facts. OK… so are your feelings based on what’s actually happening, or the story you’re telling yourself? Look, emotions aren’t always rational. They’re valid, yes, but they’re not always accurate. Surely I’m not the only person in the world to have an irrational emotional reaction to something that turns out to be far less of a thing once my rational mind catches up with the conversation?! So, because we know that our emotions don’t generally come from a logical and rational place, it really helps to pause and ask yourself, “What else could be going on here?” or “Is this reaction about this situation, or something deeper?” When you check the facts, that’s when you can separate emotions from assumptions… and that helps you to make much clearer, smarter choices. Next…

Notice your emotional patterns. Start paying attention to how you tend to respond when certain emotions show up. Do you shut down when you feel hurt? Do you lash out when you’re anxious? These patterns often come from old coping mechanisms… but once you actually notice them, you can start to choose differently. I said it before, and I’ll say it again: self-awareness is always the first step towards making meaningful change.

All right, so the second theme we’re going to explore here is reframing emotional myths, and that refers to changing the way that you think about emotions. This is about challenging yourself and your cultural conditioning or your internalised beliefs about emotions; those are the things that just keep you stuck in shame or avoidance. So, first…

Let go of the belief that some emotions are ‘bad’. We’ve been conditioned to think that emotions like sadness, or anger, or fear are signs of weakness… but they’re not; they’re just part of being human. The more you judge yourself for having uncomfortable feelings, the harder it is to process them. Instead, try to treat every emotion as a signal. It’s not good or bad… it’s just trying to get your attention to tell you something, and your job is to figure out what that thing is. If anger is something that you tend to struggle with processing or letting go of, that’s actually something I talked about quite recently in Episode 288; I’ll leave it linked in the description below if you want to catch that, or you can find all of my episodes at ltamh.com. Next…

Stop numbing your feelings. It’s easy to reach for a distraction like scrolling your phone, or snacking, or drinking, or staying busy… anything to avoid feeling discomfort. But while numbing your emotions might give you some short-term relief, it unfortunately comes with a very large serving of long-term pain… because ignored emotions don’t go anywhere. They sit deep inside, and they fester and grow, and eventually they will come out; usually when you least expect it, and usually in a way that either blows up your life or at the very least in a way that causes a massive and total mess. So when you stop avoiding your emotions, and learn to acknowledge and accept them instead, they lose their power over you. It’s not about having to suffer; it’s about being real with yourself.

All right, so now we’re moving on to the third theme, which is regulation and response. And by that I mean practical emotional regulation and decision making tools. These are all about how to work with your emotions in real time by staying grounded, responding wisely, and building your resilience. So, first…

Practice responding, not reacting. OK. A reaction is automatic; it’s that heat of the moment impulse that’s based on pure emotions, and sometimes pure adrenaline. Responding, on the other hand, is slower. It’s more thoughtful, more deliberate, and much, much less chaotic. It’s the space between feeling something, and choosing what to do about it. Now there’s a really straightforward way to do this: pause, breathe, what, why. So, ‘pause’ means consciously stopping when you’re having an emotional reaction, and choosing to then ‘breathe’ for a few moments. So when your emotions are heightened, it can take anywhere from a few moments to a full 10 to 15 seconds for your logical mind to catch up with your emotional brain… so instead of just reacting, breathe deeply and deliberately for a good 10 to 15 seconds. Then you can ask yourself ‘what’ you’re feeling… because labelling the emotion not only helps to ground you in self-awareness, so you know what’s actually going on, but it also forces your rational mind to get involved. And then, finally, ask yourself ‘why’ you’re feeling that way, which takes that self-awareness thing one step further. So once you know what’s really going on and why you feel the way that you do, that’s when you can start to think about how to respond… not before, unless you want to make one of those hot messes that I talked about earlier! Next…

Take care of your physical state. I don’t know why we seem to forget this so often, but your mind and body are connected and they directly affect one another. So sometimes what feels like an emotional crisis is really just a lack of sleep, or food, or rest; I don’t know about you, but when I haven’t slept properly I’m like a cranky toddler! Your body and mind are directly connected, so if you’re physically run down your emotional capacity drops. Building your emotional wellbeing means supporting your body with proper sleep, movement, hydration, and nourishment. It’s basic, but it changes everything. Next…

Make decisions that reflect how you actually feel. And then the subtext of that is “how you really feel, not just what you think you should do or what you think you’re supposed to feel.” Emotional wellbeing means tuning in to what’s true for you, rather than trying to please others or conform to a specific way of being. That might mean that you need to set a boundary with someone or even with yourself, or saying no, or walking away from something that isn’t working for you. When you make choices that are based on your real emotions, rather than what you think will please others, what you think you have to do, that’s when you build your self respect. I just covered emotional boundaries in Episode 286, so check that out for more; it’s linked in the description. Next…

Let your emotions guide you… but don’t let them take the wheel. Think of your emotions as signals on the dashboard of your car: they’re there to tell you something, not to drive the whole journey for you. Learning to listen to your feelings without handing control over to them is one of the most important emotional skills you can build, and it helps you stay steady when things get tough. Again, this comes back to choosing to pause, breathe, and then ask yourself what you’re feeling and why you feel that way, because that activates your rational thought processes so that you can take a much more balanced and considered approach to whatever the situation is.

So now we’re onto the fourth theme or category of tips, and these are all about expression and connection, and that means it’s about communicating your emotions in a healthy way and maintaining healthy relationships with others. First…

Talk about how you feel with someone you trust. Sharing your emotions does not make you weak. It makes you brave. And I say that to you from firsthand experience because I know how much courage it can take to speak up sometimes, especially when things are tough. When you express what you’re going through to someone who listens without judgment it really helps you to process things, and it also helps you to make sense of whatever’s happening internally. That sense of feeling seen and heard is absolutely essential for your emotional wellbeing, because we’re not meant to carry everything alone… and the more we talk about it, the easier it gets. Next…

Avoid bottling things up just to ‘keep the peace’. A lot of people tend to often suppress their emotions in their relationships, especially in their closest relationships, as a way of avoiding conflict… but it only ever works for so long, and it’s not a healthy strategy. Over time your resentment is going to build, no doubt about it, or at the very least you’re going to end up emotionally exhausted… or both. Expressing how you feel in a clear and respectful way is how you create and maintain healthy relationships. Conflict is not a bad thing. Conflict can be good if it’s handled in a fair, kind, and respectful way, and if your focus… both of you have a focus on finding solutions, rather than assigning blame.

OK, so now we’re onto the fifth theme, practice and progress. Which is all about developing good, healthy, long-term habits for your emotional wellbeing. So my tip is…

Treat your emotional wellbeing as an ongoing focus. There’s no magic end point where you suddenly ‘get it right’. The fact is that your emotional needs will change over time. Some days you’ll feel more balanced, other days you won’t. And that’s OK. The key here is to keep showing up for yourself: gently, consistently, and with a willingness to listen, learn, and adjust.

Final Tips & Applying What you’ve Learned

Here’s the thing: You don’t have to fight your emotions. But you don’t have to be ruled by them either. And you definitely don’t need to keep on pretending that you’re fine when you’re not.

Emotional wellbeing isn’t about always being calm or positive; it’s about learning how to work with your feelings so that you can respond in ways that support your peace of mind and your needs.

Because when it comes to emotional wellbeing, what it all boils down to is this: Your emotions are not the problem. Ignoring them is.

Now, what are you going to do with what you’ve learned today? Maybe it’s pausing to name what you’re feeling instead of just pushing it down. Maybe it’s choosing not to react right away when something hits you hard, or maybe it’s just giving yourself permission to feel what you feel… without guilt or judgment. Whatever it is, start small and start today. Because how you handle your emotions shapes how you experience your life.

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing. So, what choice will you make today?

Each week, I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:

Feel your emotions, but don’t let them rule your actions.

Unknown

Let me repeat that:

Feel your emotions, but don’t let them rule your actions.

All right… that’s nearly it for this week!

Sign up for my weekly newsletter at ltamh.com and support me on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes. They’re both linked in the description.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

You’ll also find my episode about expressing yourself helpful; it’s linked in the description.

Next week I’ll be talking about focusing on what you can control. Follow or subscribe to never miss an episode, and have a great week!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program. Discover more at ltamh.com.

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TOOLS & RESOURCES FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

I offer simple digital products that will help you improve and look after your mental health. My Daily Affirmations tool will help you start your day with focus and intention, grounding you and creating a sense of calm. My Daily Reflection Tool is a buy-once-use-forever PDF tool that helps you to do the work that will lead to better mental health and well-being. Plus I have a Masterclass Video which is like your own coaching session with me so that you can get the most out of your daily tool. Buy the two as a bundle and save 20% for a limited time! Click the links below for your chosen product(s):

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Find more content at www.ltamh.com

Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2025 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.