Hopelessness tells you nothing will ever change; this episode shows you how to prove it wrong. So, Let’s Talk About Mental Health!

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About this episode:

Feeling hopeless? Like nothing will ever change?

It’s not because you’re weak; it’s because you’re exhausted and under-supported.
We all hit that wall sometimes.

But staying stuck is costly: it drains your energy, clouds your thinking, makes you feel miserable, and shrinks your sense of the future.

Here’s the truth most advice skips: don’t wait to feel hopeful before you act. Why not? Because hope follows action, not the other way around, and change happens one small step at a time.

This week on the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast, I’m walking you through how to keep going when you feel hopeless. We’ll unpack what hopelessness really is, why your brain and nervous system shut down, and the practical tools that help: steadying yourself in the tough moments, taking back a little control, protecting your peace, and finding the right support.

💡 One quick thing you can do today: Name it out loud: “I feel hopeless.” Then do one tiny, supportive action — a shower, a proper meal, or a message to someone you trust. Tiny steps count.

Because you don’t need to feel full of hope to move forward… you just need the next step.

🎧 Ready to move from shutdown to possibility? Then let’s talk!

The full episode is out now. Watch it, listen to it, or read the transcript below… and have a great week!

Jeremy 😃

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Episode Transcript:

How to keep going when you feel hopeless

When life feels pointless, and nothing makes sense, how do you keep going?

If you’ve ever felt like giving up, or you’ve struggled to figure out how to move forward, this episode is for you.

Because hopelessness is one of the hardest things we can face. And when it shows up, it doesn’t just feel uncomfortable… it can drain the life out of you.

Today, I’m going to help you figure out how to keep going and how to feel a lot better about your life.

So, let’s talk about feeling hopeless.

Hello and welcome back to the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast! I’m Jeremy Godwin.

If it’s your first time here this show is all about better mental health, full of practical and actionable advice to help you protect your peace and take back control of your mental wellbeing.

This week I’m talking about how to tackle hopelessness so you can keep going even when life feels impossible.

Now, let’s be very clear about one thing right from the start: feeling hopeless does not mean you’re weak. It simply means you’ve been fighting for too long without support.

And look, the fact is that hopelessness feels heavy and it sucks. It drains your energy. It clouds your thinking. And it makes the idea of a better future feel like it’s something that you’ll just never reach. And when you’re in that hopeless headspace, even the idea of taking just one more step can feel almost impossible.

I’ve been there and I know how tough it is. In my case, it looked like lying on the couch watching the same two TV series on loop because making an actual decision felt like climbing Mount Everest.

But what I learned the hard way is that even when it feels like there’s no way forward, there is… and today I’m going to show you how to not just see that light at the end of the tunnel, but how to actually get to it.

And to do that, we’ll talk about: what hopelessness really is, why it affects you so deeply, and how to start finding your way through it… even if all you can manage today is just one more breath.

If you’re in a hurry, feel free to jump straight to the tips and there are timestamps in the description. Otherwise, we’re going to really dig into this topic so you have a much better understanding of it… because the more you know, the more you grow.

Alright, so let’s talk about…

What is hopelessness?

So, it’s a feeling or a state of despair. As the name suggests, it’s when you’re without hope; whether that’s just sometimes, or if it’s all or most of the time.

Now, hopelessness isn’t just feeling sad or having a bad day. It’s a much deeper emotional state, one where you feel like things are just never going to get better no matter what you do. It’s that sense of emotional shutdown where it feels like your inner spark has gone out… and you can’t see a way forward. And even when people try to help or offer advice, it all feels a bit pointless… like when someone tells you to ‘just think positively’; gee, thanks Jennifer, I’ll go ahead and add that to my list of useless advice!

Because when you’re truly feeling hopeless, it isn’t about applying logic or being able to just snap out of it. It’s about pain. And that pain runs deep.

For some people, hopelessness can sneak in slowly. Maybe it starts with burnout or long-term stress, or going through a season of grief or loss. For others, it’s like a wave that you didn’t see coming and you’re triggered by something sudden or traumatic. But no matter how it shows up, it creates the same impact: a complete loss of belief that things could be better or different.

And that loss of belief changes everything. It stops you from taking action. It makes even the smallest decisions feel impossible. It clouds your thinking. And it drains your motivation. Not because you don’t care, but because even caring starts to feel pointless. You go from trying to fix things to just trying to get through the day… or sometimes even just trying to get through the next hour.

Now, it’s important for me to reinforce here that hopelessness isn’t a character flaw or a failure… and I know from firsthand experience that it can very often feel that way, which tends to make things even worse. Hopelessness is a very human emotional response to very real pain. In fact, it’s often a signal that you’ve been carrying far too much for far too long without the right kind of support; whether that’s support from others, or support from within yourself.

And while it can often feel like you’re numb or detached, or if you seem to be fairly quiet on the outside, inside it’s generally a very different matter. That’s where it’s usually a storm of questions and self-doubt; you know, things like: What’s the point? Will I ever feel better? Am I always going to feel like this? All of that inner noise can make it incredibly hard to reach out to someone for help, especially when you’re at… at a point that you’ve perfected an ‘I’m fine!’ act that’s worthy of an Oscar nomination! And it makes it tough to even acknowledge how much you’re struggling, especially if you’ve gotten used to keeping it all together for everyone else or for the sake of appearances.

It does tend to go hand in hand with depression, as well; i’m not saying that that is a diagnosis, because each individual case must be assessed individually, however… I have done an episode on depression previously, I’ll put it up on the screen and in the episode description if you’d like to learn more about depression.

But one thing I want to be really, really clear about is this: hopelessness is a state, not your identity. It’s not who you are, and it’s not permanent. Hopelessness is an emotional state that you’re experiencing… and, like all emotional states, it can and will shift, especially when you start to understand what’s causing it and how to support yourself through it. Because even when hope feels completely out of reach, that doesn’t mean it’s gone. It just means that you need a bit of help to understand what’s going on and how to tackle it… which is what this episode is all about.

I have been in that hopeless state for far longer than I would ever have cared to experience it… so, when I went through my breakdown back in late 2011, and then the next couple of years when I had severe depression and anxiety, I was in and out of hopelessness and it’s a horrible place to be in and it really has an enormous impact, and that’s why I’m going to be spending a fair bit of time today getting us on the same page around what it is and what it looks and feels like; which, funnily enough, brings us to the next part of today’s episode…

Why hopelessness affects you so deeply

Hopelessness hits hard because it strikes at the very core of what keeps each and every one of us going day after day, which is the belief that things can change and that there’s a future worth moving towards.

And when that belief disappears, the impact isn’t just emotional; it’s physical, neurological, and deeply, deeply psychological.

Your brain is wired to look for patterns, to solve problems, and to imagine possible outcomes, and that’s part of what actually gives you motivation; it’s the idea that your efforts will actually lead somewhere.

But when hopelessness sets in, that entire system just completely breaks down. Your brain stops thinking in terms of possibilities, and instead it starts focusing all or most of its energy on pain or emptiness. And the longer you sit in that space, the more it feels like there’s absolutely no way out.

It also affects your nervous system. Sometimes it pushes you into ‘fight or flight’ mode, where you feel restless or panicked, and other times it pushes you into ‘freeze’ mode where everything just shuts down entirely. You might find yourself lying in bed for hours and hours on end, and it’s not because you’re lazy but because your body just does not have the energy or the motivation… and that’s your system trying to protect itself from overwhelm. But… in the process, it then also cuts you off from the things that actually could help you feel better.

Then there’s the cognitive side of it, which is your thoughts. Hopelessness doesn’t just make you feel bad; it feeds those black and white, ‘all or nothing’ beliefs… the thoughts like, This is never going to change! Or I’m broken! Or There’s just no point trying! Or It’s going to be like this for forever!

These aren’t just random negative thoughts. They’re symptoms. They’re how hopelessness talks. And once that inner narrative kicks in, it can become self-reinforcing. You stop trying because it feels pointless, and things feel worse… which then just confirms the idea that there’s no hope.

That becomes a spiral.

And that spiral can be incredibly isolating, especially if you don’t feel like you can talk about it.

And unfortunately we live in a world that doesn’t always make space for those types of conversations. There’s a lot of pressure to stay positive or to just ‘get over it’… as though life should just be one long Disney montage; except… you’re not Snow White, and the woodland creatures don’t appear to be showing up to help you clean the kitchen.

Now that kind of surface-level focus on being positive really only makes hopelessness worse. It makes you feel like there’s something wrong with you… like you’re the only one who can’t just snap out of it. But you’re not. And also, you’re not broken. And you’re not weak.

What you are is someone who is experiencing a response to pain, disconnection, exhaustion, or loss… or sometimes all of the above. Hopelessness affects you so deeply because it cuts you off from the very things that help you to heal: connection, purpose, and the belief that you matter.

And the thing is you do matter. You always have… even when your brain tells you otherwise. It’s just that when you feel hopeless, you have to work that much harder to find those thoughts… and then you have to work even harder on top of that to actually believe them.

But thankfully, there are lots of things you can do to build a much more mindful and hopeful mindset for yourself, piece by piece… even if that involves having to use the rubble to build with. And that’s exactly what I’m going to walk you through how to do, right after this quick break. So don’t go anywhere!

[AD BREAK]

And welcome back!

Now we’re going to explore how you start moving forward, even when your mind is struggling to see the point, because this is where things begin to really shift.

So, let’s talk about…

How to go from hopelessness to possibility

Hopelessness wants you to believe that this is how things will always be; that nothing can ever change, and nothing you do will ever help. But that’s just not true.

The change we’re working on here is about going from shutdown to possibility, and it’s something that we’re going to focus on gradually, and I’m going to encourage you to do this in small and realistic steps because that’s how you break down hopelessness.

So here’s the path that we’re going to take to make that shift. To begin, we’ll talk about how to steady yourself when you’re feeling hopeless, so you can get through the worst of it safely. And then, next, we’ll look at ways to take back some control and start feeling stronger. And finally, we’ll explore how to keep moving forward and make sure that you have the support you need.

And it all starts with the simplest but most important step…

Stop fighting your feelings.

When you feel hopeless, it’s easy to either shut down emotionally or to go to war with your own thoughts. But transformation doesn’t begin with resistance; it begins with honesty. So… stop the internal battle and name your feelings instead. Say it out loud. I feel hopeless. I feel lost. I don’t know what to do. Let yourself acknowledge it without judging it, because this is about being completely honest with yourself about what it is that you’re experiencing. Why? Because once you name it, then you can begin to work with it; but you can’t change what you won’t face. Next…

Focus on today.

Hopelessness tends to be really good at stretching your pain out into forever, and it can make the future feel like it’s completely unreachable. So, bring your focus back to now; to the present. What’s one thing you can do today that supports your wellbeing? Not to magically ‘fix’ everything, but to just give yourself a little breathing room today. Now. One shower, one phone call, one proper meal, one hour without doom scrolling… and yes, I’m talking to you, sitting there refreshing the news like it’s your part-time job! Doing these types of things and making these small, simple shifts… it’s not nothing. They’re lifelines. Now, if being present is something that you do tend to find quite difficult, I encourage you to check out Episode 287. It’s linked in the description, or just head to: ltamh.com/ episodes. Okay, next…

Interrupt isolation, even if it’s messy.

Hopelessness thrives in silence and solitude. Now… you don’t have to bare your entire soul to someone but, really, you do need to connect. So, do something simple. Send a text, or go to a cafe and just sit near people… not right near them, if they’re complete strangers, they’re gonna, they’re gonna be very uncomfortable, you know what I mean?! Like, just be in a cafe, be around people. Or tell someone, “I’m not doing great.” If you’re able to, speak with a counsellor or a therapist; it really makes an enormous difference. Regardless of what you do, do something. But know this: you are not a burden, and you really don’t have to go through this alone… even if it might feel like it. Because the more we talk about it, the easier it gets. Next…

Challenge the story in your mind.

Hopelessness is a dirty, stinking, filthy liar. It tells you that things will never change and it whispers to you over and over again, ” This is permanent.” But it’s not. And how do I know that for sure? Well, for two reasons: first of all, because feelings are not facts… and second, because no feeling lasts for forever. Not even this one. I have been in that headspace where hopelessness has told me, “This is permanent”… and I can tell you right now, I’m on the other side of it, it was not. Hopelessness lied. Your mind just gets caught up in a loop of trying to protect you, and we need to break that pattern and to change the story. So start looking for small pieces of evidence that your mind might be wrong, even if you don’t believe it just yet. Ask yourself: What has shifted, even a little? What didn’t break you, even when it hurt? What’s still standing? When you take a step back and question the narrative that hopelessness is trying to make you believe, that’s when you can begin to see things differently… even if it’s just noticing that you’ve managed to keep a plant alive for more than a week, that still counts! Next…

Stop waiting for motivation.

When you’re feeling hopeless, motivation tends to just disappear out the window… but that doesn’t mean that you’re lazy. It just means that your system is overwhelmed. So forget about waiting to feel like it and focus on movement instead. Ask yourself, what’s one small thing I can do that supports me… even if I don’t really want to? It could be as simple as sending that message, or making that doctor’s appointment, or doing the groceries; whatever it is, the action you take doesn’t have to be inspired or life-changing… it just has to be consistent, and it can start tiny. Because as the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Although, full credit, i’m fairly sure that Lao Tzu didn’t have Netflix autoplay to contend with so, you know, be kind to yourself! OK, next…

Protect your peace like your life depends on it.

Because sometimes it does. When you’re in a vulnerable state, the things around you matter: the content you consume, the people you talk to, the situations you put yourself in, the expectations you put on yourself. So, be ruthless with your boundaries and make choices that put your peace of mind at the top of your priority list. You don’t need to justify protecting your energy. You just need to do it. Because if you don’t, who will?! Next…

Reclaim your voice from the inner critic.

You know that voice in your head that tells you that you’re broken, or there’s something wrong with you? It’s not the truth. It’s simply the voice of hopelessness. You’ve internalised it, but you don’t have to keep on listening to it. Start speaking back. Say to it, “I’m doing the best I can.” Say, “This doesn’t define me.” Say, “I don’t have to believe every thought I have.” The more you practice, the stronger your voice becomes… and the more it can drown out that critical voice. Next…

Reconnect with your ‘why’.

You don’t need a big, bold life purpose right now; what you need is just a reason to get through today. Maybe that’s a dog or a cat who needs you… a friend who cares about you…. a part of you that still believes, even just a little, that things might be different someday. So, what’s one thing that still matters to you? Even if it feels like everything else is just noise. Identify that thing and remind yourself of it regularly, because that will help to ground you. OK, next…

Make one small decision and follow through.

Hopelessness clouds your ability to make choices because everything feels either too big or too pointless. So, take back a little control by making one tiny decision that’s just for you. Pick what you’ll eat for dinner. Choose what shirt to wear. Decide which playlist to listen to. I mean, it might seem meaningless, but it’s really not because choosing reminds your brain that you still have power… which you do. And being aware of your power and your ability to influence your own life, even in small doses, really starts to shift things. Because it reminds you that you’re in control; you are able to steer your ship in whatever direction you’d like. Next…

Do something different… anything!

Routines can be incredibly grounding, and I love a good routine, but when it comes to hopelessness they can also trap you. So if you’ve been doing the same things every day and still feeling awful, well… it’s time to try something different. Sit somewhere new. Go outside at a different time. Watch a film you’d never usually pick. The point here is less about what you do and more about disrupting the loop. Even a tiny change can create a crack in the hopelessness…. and through that crack, the light can start to get in. Next…

Get out of your head.

When your mind is spiraling or numb, you need to get yourself out of your thoughts by anchoring yourself in your body; not in a fluffy, basic self-care kind of way, but in a ‘regulate your nervous system’ kind of way. Hold an ice cube. Stretch. Step barefoot onto grass. Listen to one song with your eyes closed. Light a candle, and feel the heat gently emanating from it. These are simple, but they aren’t just distractions; they’re great grounding tools, and they serve to bring you back to the here and now… which is the only place that healing can actually happen. Next…

Talk to yourself like someone you love.

You wouldn’t attack someone else for feeling hopeless or say, “You’re pathetic!”, or “You should be over this!”… I certainly hope not! So then… if you wouldn’t do that to somebody else, why are you saying it to yourself?! Choose to consciously speak to yourself like you would to a friend who’s hurting. Out loud if you can, but just pick the time and place though; I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, it’s a good bet that if you start talking to yourself out loud in the middle of Aldi you’ll be thrown out! But look, you don’t have to believe every word in your mind… just try; take a different approach. Because the way you speak to yourself shapes how you experience pain, and how you begin to heal. Next…

Let the process be slow and still be progress.

Look, this isn’t about a movie montage with an upbeat eighties track playing in the background where you just rapidly go from despair to joy in the space of a few short moments… all while trying on different outfits as you have your big life turnaround. Sadly, life just doesn’t work that way. Be great if it did… love a good 80’s montage! But you can go from despair to stillness. To safety. To stability. And eventually, to peace. Give yourself permission to move through this one step at a time, at your own pace, and remember that every breath is a step… and every step counts. Next…

Get help.

And I say ‘get help’ not because you’re weak and you can’t do it on your own, but because you’re worth supporting and you shouldn’t have to do this stuff on your own! And it’s a lot less difficult to deal with all of this when it’s not just you dealing with all of this. Now, whether that’s working with a counsellor, a support line, or a trusted friend, remember that you don’t have to go through difficult times alone… and nor should you. Asking for help is the bravest and strongest thing you can ever do. In my case, it’s what saved my life. And no, it didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen. Hopelessness isolates. Connection heals. Asking for help isn’t giving up; it’s choosing to keep going, even when it’s tough. Because, and I promise you this, better days really are just around the corner.

Final mental health tips

Here’s the thing.

Feeling hopeless doesn’t mean you’re broken.

It means you’ve been carrying too much for too long, without enough support.

You can change that. Not by waiting for hope to suddenly show up, but by consciously creating it for yourself… one step at a time.

Because when it comes to keeping on going when you feel hopeless, what it all boils down to is this:

You don’t need to feel full of hope to move forward. You just need to take the next step.

Now, what are you going to do with what you’ve learned today? What’s one small thing you can do in the next 24 hours that will help you to feel just a little more able to keep going?

Because you get to decide whether or not hopelessness keeps you stuck, or whether you choose to use it as the reason to start moving towards something better. The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing. So, what choice will you make today?

Each week, I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by the artist Anohni, and it is:

Hopelessness is a feeling. It’s not a fact.

Anohni

Let me repeat that.

Hopelessness is a feeling. It’s not a fact.

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

Sign up for my weekly newsletter at ltamh.com and support me on Patreon for early access to ad-free extended episodes. They’re both linked in the description.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world… because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time! 

You’ll also find my episode about peace of mind helpful; it’s linked in the description.

Next week I’ll be talking about desperation. Follow or subscribe to never miss an episode, and have a great week!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program. Discover more at ltamh.com.

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Find more content at www.ltamh.com

Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2025 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.