Feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted? Stress doesn’t have to control your life… and in this episode I’m sharing powerful, no-nonsense strategies to help you manage stress effectively. So, let’s talk! 😃
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TRANSCRIPT
How to manage stress (before it manages you!)
How do you stop stress from taking over your life? Why does stress affect your mental health so much? And what if stress management was simpler than you think?
Well… in this episode you’ll discover effective ways to deal with stress and practical tools for managing stress that really work.
Ready to stop letting stress control you? Then let’s talk about how to manage stress!
Hello and welcome back to Let’s Talk About Mental Health, thanks for joining me!
I’m Jeremy Godwin, a counsellor and writer, and I make better mental health simple by teaching you how to tackle issues and improve your mental wellbeing; I’m all about no-nonsense advice, and I share practical tips based on quality research plus my own experience with anxiety and depression. Each Sunday I take a deep dive into one aspect of better mental health, and on Wednesdays I share a shorter ‘quick guide’ episode to help you build your own mental health toolkit.
So… let’s talk!
***********
Stress can be pretty stressful… right? It’s one of those things that we all experience from time to time, and sometimes it can even feel as though stress is running your life; no matter how much you try to stay on top of things, there seems to always be just one more email, one more responsibility, one more thing keeping you up at night.
Stress has a way of creeping in, taking over, and before you know it, you’re living in a constant state of tension without even realising it. But stress isn’t just a feeling you have sometimes when things are hectic; it’s something that directly impacts your mental health, your physical wellbeing, your emotional health, and even how you show up in your daily life.
The good news is that you have far more control over it than you might think. Managing stress isn’t about trying to eliminate it entirely (because unless you’ve figured out how to exist in a stress-free bubble, that’s just not happening); it’s about learning how to handle it in a way that keeps it from overwhelming you.
In this episode, I’m talking about practical ways to manage stress effectively — both in the moment and proactively — so that it doesn’t take over your mental space, or drain your energy, or leave you feeling constantly on edge. Because when you know how to handle stress well, life feels a lot lighter.
Let’s start by getting ourselves on the same page with some definitions, and let’s talk about…
What does managing stress mean?
So, it means actively recognising and responding to stress in a way that prevents it from overwhelming you, allowing you to stay balanced and focused, and to remain in control of your mental wellbeing.
Stress is one of those things that can sneak up on you. One minute, you’re feeling fine, and the next, it’s like someone cranked up the pressure dial without your permission. Your shoulders tense, your jaw tightens, and your brain suddenly feels like it’s buffering. And the worst part? Stress doesn’t just affect your mind — it takes over your whole body. If you’ve ever felt your heart racing because of a looming deadline or had a stress headache so intense you wanted to explode, then you know what I mean.
Stress isn’t just a vague feeling of being ‘a bit overwhelmed’ — it’s a full-body experience. When you’re stressed, your brain sets off alarms in your nervous system, releasing a flood of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This is great if you’re in the wild being chased by lions and tigers and bears (which is exactly the reason why this basic biological response evolved), but not so helpful when the so-called ‘threat’ is an inbox full of emails or an awkward conversation with your boss.
Stress can feel different for everyone, but some common signs include:
- Physical symptoms — like tension in your muscles, headaches, digestive issues, shallow breathing, or feeling exhausted all the time (even when you’ve had a full night’s sleep).
- Mental symptoms — like racing thoughts, difficulty concentrating, irritability, or feeling overwhelmed by even the smallest tasks (like deciding what to have for dinner — by the way, why is that always the hardest question of the day?!). And,
- Emotional symptoms — like feeling anxious, frustrated, or like you’re on the verge of snapping at someone who really doesn’t deserve it.
So, managing stress means taking control of how stress affects you — both in the moment (reactively) and before it even happens (proactively); it’s about learning how to handle it so that it doesn’t run your life. That means recognising when it’s happening and having strategies in place to either reduce its impact or stop it from getting out of hand in the first place. Think of it like creating an emergency toolkit — some tools help you in the moment, and others are for long-term maintenance so that stress doesn’t build up to breaking point.
Now, today I’ll be talking about dealing with stress if and when it happens (which is the reactive side of handling stress), but I’ll also be stepping you through how to proactively manage stress, because the best way to deal with stress is to stop it from piling up in the first place; there’s a saying in the nursing industry that ‘prevention is better than cure’ and that’s a lesson that’s really important to learn for good mental health. Why? Well, because letting things get out of hand tends to make them a lot harder to deal with… so the goal is to prevent issues from happening in the first place (or, at the very least, to tackle them immediately when they do happen). That means building habits that strengthen your ability to handle life’s pressures well before they reach crisis mode.
We’ll get into how to do all that shortly, but first let’s talk about…
Why stress management matters
Stress isn’t just an annoying part of life — it’s a full-blown disruptor. It messes with your emotions, hijacks your thinking, and if it’s left unchecked it can turn into a long-term burden that weighs you down. And while a bit of stress can sometimes be helpful (like, deadlines), chronic stress is like a bad houseguest — it refuses to leave, and it slowly leaves chaos and destruction its path.
Managing stress matters because it’s about taking active responsibility for how you respond to pressure, and learning ways to support yourself before stress turns into full-blown overwhelm and burnout.
At its core, stress is your body’s alarm system. When you’re under pressure, your brain is going to try to keep you safe… and so ignoring stress altogether isn’t an option because your mind and body will be in a heightened state until your brain is satisfied that the threat has passed; pretending that’s not happening is a bit like ignoring a fire alarm and hoping the flames will put themselves out… spoiler alter: they don’t!
When the so-called ‘threat’ is ongoing — work stress, financial worries, relationship tensions, etc. — your body stays in this heightened state, and that’s when things go downhill. Because stress is exhausting. It drains your mental energy, making it harder to focus, or regulate your emotions, or even think clearly. If you’ve ever felt completely frazzled over something relatively minor (like ‘Why won’t this stupid jar open?!’), that’s a classic sign that stress has been building up in the background. It lowers your tolerance for frustration, increases anxiety, and makes you more reactive to everything.
And the worst part is that your brain adapts to long-term stress like it’s the new normal… so you might not even realise how much it’s affecting you, until you’re completely burnt out. Which, will eventually happen. Because your body cannot sustain that level of being on high alert indefinitely.
Stress doesn’t just make you feel bad — it actively disrupts the way your brain works. When stress is constant, your nervous system goes into overdrive, and that can lead to increased anxiety and overthinking (keeping you stuck in ‘problem mode’ and consumed by worry), as well as mood swings and irritability, low motivation, mental exhaustion, difficulty sleeping, and potentially even unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Stress can also contribute to long-term mental health challenges like anxiety and depression. And because stress affects your body as well (with tension, digestive issues, headaches, etc.), it creates a feedback loop — your mind and body feed off each other’s stress signals, making everything worse.
Managing stress effectively is about taking back control. Because when you’re constantly overwhelmed, life becomes a never-ending game of survival… and you deserve so much better than that.
Learning how to handle stress well means you’re not just reacting to problems — you’re preventing them from running your life. It means having the mental space to make better decisions, the emotional bandwidth to handle challenges, and the resilience to bounce back when things go wrong. It helps you stay you, rather than becoming a permanently frazzled version of yourself who runs on caffeine and frustration.
When you start taking stress seriously, everything shifts. You think more clearly, react more calmly, and have more energy for the things (and people) that matter most to you. You sleep better, focus better, and actually enjoy life instead of just enduring it. And, perhaps most importantly, you stop seeing stress as an inevitable burden and start treating it like something you can handle. Because you can.
So… how do you do that? Let’s talk through some practical ways to manage stress; but first, a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…
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And welcome back! Now let’s talk about…
How to deal with stress
OK, let’s talk about what to do when stress takes hold (then we’ll go through some more preventative strategies). First…
Recognise and name your stress — before you can manage stress, you need to be aware of it. That sounds obvious, but many of us go through life on autopilot, ignoring stress until it reaches breaking point. So, pay attention to your body and mind — do you feel tense, irritable, overwhelmed, or exhausted? Identifying stress early gives you a chance to do something about it before it spirals, because awareness is the first step to change. Check in with yourself regularly by asking, “How am I feeling right now?” And if you are feeling stress, ask yourself, “What’s causing this stress?” Writing things down or talking to someone can also help you get clarity. The main point here is that once you name it, you can start addressing it. OK, next…
Prioritise what actually matters — not all stress is created equal. Some things genuinely need your attention, while others… not so much. If everything feels urgent, take a step back and ask yourself: “Is this really important? Does this actually need to be done right now?” Chances are, you’re carrying stress over things that don’t deserve that much space in your mind. Stress is often about perceived urgency, rather than actual urgency. You can do this by using a simple system: eliminate, delegate, or delay. If something doesn’t truly matter, let it go. If someone else can handle it, let them. And if it can wait, schedule it for later rather than stressing about it now. Next…
Control what you can, let go of what you cannot — I was waiting in the doctor’s office the other week, and these two old guys near me were having a very loud conversation about how stressed they were due to the political decisions being made by the leader of another country… and I just thought to myself, “Why on earth are you both getting so worked up first thing in the morning over something you have no control over, and that doesn’t even directly impact you?!” A huge source of stress is getting caught up in things that are completely outside of your control — the more you focus on things you can’t change, the more powerless you feel. Shifting your focus to what is within your control gives you back your sense of agency. Ask yourself, “Can I do something about this?” If the answer is yes, take action. If not, redirect your energy elsewhere. Practicing this regularly will save you from a lot of unnecessary frustration. OK, next…
Move your body — physical movement is one of the fastest ways to reset your stress levels. When you’re stressed, your body is full of excess energy — your heart races, your muscles tense, and your breathing becomes shallow — and exercise helps release that built-up tension, because movement burns off stress hormones and triggers the release of endorphins which naturally improve your mood. Try stretching, taking a short walk, or even just standing up and literally shaking off the tension. Next…
Breathe like you mean it — stress often makes your breathing shallow and fast, which sends a signal to your nervous system that you’re in danger (even when you’re not). Deliberate deep breathing reverses that signal, helping you feel calmer almost instantly because slowing your breath down activates your body’s relaxation response. You can do this by using the 4-4-6 method: inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for six. Do this for a few minutes when you feel stressed — it’s simple, but it works. Next…
Talk it out — stress thrives in isolation, so keeping everything bottled up makes it worse… whereas talking things through — whether that’s with a friend, family member, or therapist — can lighten the load. Even if you’re not much of a ‘talker’, telling someone, “I’m feeling really stressed right now,” can make a huge difference. OK, next…
Do something completely different — when stress takes over, your brain fixates on the problem. Breaking the cycle by doing something totally unrelated helps to shift your mindset and reset your nervous system. Try doing something random and fun — learn a dance routine, bake a cake, rearrange your furniture, watch a ridiculous movie; the goal here isn’t productivity, but to disrupt the stress loop. Next…
Change your environment — when stress builds up, often the best thing you can do is physically remove yourself from the situation… even if it’s just for a short time. A change of scenery can shift your mindset and create psychological distance from stress. Try switching locations — work from a café instead of home, take a weekend trip, or even just go for a drive to clear your head. A fresh environment equals a fresh perspective. OK, next…
Use the ‘1-1-1 Rule’ for perspective — stress can make problems feel massive and all-consuming, so the 1-1-1 Rule is a quick way to reframe things. Ask yourself, “Will this matter in one year? One month? One week?” This shifts your focus from short-term panic to long-term perspective… and if something won’t matter in one month, it’s probably not worth losing sleep over.
Alright! Now let’s talk through some more long-term things you can do to proactively manage stress and prevent issues from snowballing, starting with…
Set boundaries and protect your time — overcommitting, whether it’s at work or in your personal life, drains your energy and leaves you feeling stretched too thin. Your time and energy are limited, and not everything (or everyone) deserves access to you. Set clear limits and stick to them — whether that’s declining extra work, turning off notifications after hours, or saying no to social plans when you need rest; the key is to be firm but kind. I explained how to set healthy boundaries in Episode 248 if you’d like more tips on how to do that. OK, next…
Make rest and recovery non-negotiable — pushing through stress without taking breaks might feel productive in the moment… but in reality, it just leads to burnout. Your brain and body need downtime, and rest isn’t a luxury — it’s a necessity, because when you rest your nervous system has a chance to reset. So, build small moments of rest into your day — take breaks, step outside for some fresh air, or do something relaxing that isn’t staring at your phone. Proper sleep is crucial too, so if stress is messing with your sleep then start winding down earlier. Next…
Watch what you’re feeding your mind — what you consume (news, social media, conversations, etc) directly affects how you feel; if you’re constantly exposing yourself to negativity, whether it’s doomscrolling or spending time with people who drain you, your stress levels will stay high. Reducing negative inputs protects your mental space, so be intentional about what (and who) you give your attention to — limit stressful news intake, mute accounts that stress you out, and set boundaries with people who bring nothing but drama. OK, next…
Have a ‘Stress Plan’ ready to go — stress isn’t always predictable, but you can prepare for it. Having a simple stress-management plan means that when stress does hit, you already know what to do… rather than scrambling to figure it out in the moment. Create a go-to list of stress relievers — like breathing exercises, stepping outside, listening to music, calling a friend, etc. — so that when you feel overwhelmed, you have immediate options. Next…
Stop multitasking (seriously, stop it!) — look, multitasking feels productive… but in reality, it just splits your attention and increases stress. Your brain isn’t designed to do multiple things at once — it winds up just rapidly switching between tasks, which drains your mental energy much faster than you realise. Focusing on one thing at a time reduces overwhelm and improves efficiency. Try using time blocks, or setting a simple rule: one task, one focus. If you find yourself trying to do five things at once, pause, take a breath, and tackle them one at a time (if that feels like a struggle, write them down and then work on them one by one… that way you won’t miss anything). OK, next…
Take control of your mornings — how you start your day sets the tone for everything that follows. If you wake up and immediately check emails, rush to get ready, and stress about your to-do list before you’ve even had coffee… well, no wonder you feel on edge! Adopting a calm morning routine creates a more grounded mindset. Build a simple, stress-free routine — wake up a little earlier, avoid your phone for the first 30 minutes, and start the day with something positive (like stretching, reading, or just drinking tea in peace). I have a simple digital tool to help you do this and a lot more; it’s linked in the episode description and it’s an easy way to take charge of your mental health in just 10 or 15 minutes a day, so check that out for more. OK, next…
Eat in a way that supports your mental health — what you eat affects how you feel; caffeine, sugar, and ultra-processed foods can spike your energy and then crash it, making stress feel worse. On the flip side, a balanced diet with enough protein, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates can help stabilise your mood and energy levels. Your brain needs proper fuel to handle stress, so eat in a way that supports steady energy — avoid excessive caffeine, eat real meals (not just snacks), and drink enough water. Small changes make a big difference. Next…
Give yourself permission to slow down — modern life demands and rewards busyness, but constantly doing isn’t the same as living. Stress often comes from feeling like you have to be productive 24/7, but sometimes, the best thing you can do is nothing at all. Take a full day off, say no to unnecessary commitments, or sit outside daily with a cup of tea and just be. Rest isn’t wasted time; it’s what makes everything else sustainable. OK, next…
Make life simple for yourself — stress isn’t always about major problems — sometimes, it’s the little things that wear you down. When you decide to make life as simple as it can be, you find that you’re better able to focus on what really matters… and that you can let go of the stuff that doesn’t matter. Which, to be fair, is probably most of the stuff you end up feeling stressed about. Find ways to make life as easy for yourself as you can: declutter your space, create systems for repetitive tasks (like meal planning or setting up automatic bill payments), and get rid of minor annoyances that drain your energy. The fewer daily hassles, the better. I talked more about how to simplify your life for better mental health in Episode 268, so check that out for more. Next…
Identify and cut out ‘Energy Vampires’ — some people leave you feeling energised. Others… not so much. If you constantly feel drained after interacting with certain people, they might be energy vampires — people who thrive on negativity, drama, or constant complaining. Reducing exposure to people who drain you frees up mental space. Do this by setting boundaries — limit time with them, shift conversations to positive topics, or, if necessary, step away completely. Your energy is precious — so, protect it. Next…
Start a ‘Brain Dump’ habit — one of the most stressful things is having a million thoughts swirling in your head; tasks to do, things to remember, worries about the future. Your brain isn’t meant to hold onto all that information. So, getting those thoughts out of your head creates clarity and reduces mental overwhelm. Keep a ‘brain dump’ notebook or use an app to write down everything on your mind at the end of the day, or whenever you feel overwhelmed (paper and pen does work better than typing, because it helps you channel that stressful physical energy somewhere). Once it’s out of your head and safely on paper, your brain can start to relax. Next…
Accept that you won’t get it all done (and that’s OK) — one of the biggest sources of stress is unrealistic expectations; thinking you should be doing more, achieving more, handling everything perfectly. You won’t. It’s not physically possible to do all the things, and the ‘to do’ list will never be completely empty. And that’s fine. Accepting imperfection reduces unnecessary pressure. Remind yourself that progress is more important than perfection, ‘done’ is better than ‘perfect’, and ‘good enough’ is often more than enough. Let go of impossible standards, and your stress will ease.
Final Tips and Next Time
Because when it comes to managing stress effectively, what it all boils down to is this:
Stress is always going to be a part of life, but it doesn’t have to control you. The way you manage it makes all the difference — how you respond, what you prioritise, and how you take care of yourself. You have more power over stress than you might realise… and the more you practice looking after your wellbeing, the stronger and more resilient you become.
The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today?
Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by the writer Joan Borysenko, and it is:
“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace”
Joan Borysenko
Alright… that’s nearly it for this week!
How do you manage stress? Leave me a comment and let’s talk!
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Next week I’ll be talking about how to finally stop procrastinating; I hope you’ll join me for it, so follow or subscribe to make sure you never miss an episode!
Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world… because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!
Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com
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