Struggling with the holidays? In this episode, I’m teaching you how to cope with the holidays and sharing holiday season self-care strategies that work. So, let’s talk! 😃

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TRANSCRIPT

Self-care Strategies for the Holidays

How can you make the holidays less stressful for yourself? What does self-care during the festive season actually look like — and why does it matter? And what if the holidays didn’t have to leave you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or burnt out?

Well, that’s what I’m talking about this week. Ready to make the holiday season feel more peaceful for yourself? Then, let’s talk!

Hello and thanks for joining me for the Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast, the independent show full of simple ideas for better mental health!

If you’re new here, hi! I’m Jeremy Godwin, I’m a writer and mental health counsellor, and this isn’t your regular podcast full of interviews or random opinions; each week I teach you practical ways to improve your mental wellbeing, based on quality research and my own experience of learning how to live well with anxiety and depression (after a breakdown in 2011 that completely changed my life).

This is Episode 263, and since it’s coming out in December 2024 I’m going to be talking about how to get through the holidays with your peace of mind intact.

So, let’s talk!

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Ah, the holidays. That magical time of year when Mariah Carey comes out of hibernation, social calendars fill up faster than you can say ‘Secret Santa,’ and you’re left juggling festive cheer with the occasional festive stress (or worse, depending on how functional or dysfunctional your family is!). 

Now, I know that not everyone celebrates the main holidays at the end of the year (and it also depends where you are in the world as to whether or not this time of year is even a thing!), but for many of us, the end of the year brings a whirlwind of activity: family gatherings, office parties, New Year’s resolutions, and navigating that strange limbo land between Christmas and New Year when time seems to stop altogether.

For many of us, this time of year brings a mix of emotions — excitement, stress, nostalgia, and maybe even a touch of overwhelm (or an entire truckload, depending on your situation!). With so much happening, it’s easy to feel like you’re being pulled in every direction, trying to make the season ‘perfect’ while juggling expectations, commitments, and the occasional awkward or unpleasant family moment.  

But what if it didn’t have to be like that? What if you could approach the holidays in a way that felt calmer, more intentional, and genuinely uplifting for your mental health? That’s what we’re exploring today: how to identify and implement practical self-care strategies that help you navigate the festive season with balance and peace of mind.  

Because while the holidays can be wonderful, they can also be a source of stress — and when we’re not mindful of our own needs, it’s our mental health that takes the hit. This episode is all about reclaiming the holidays for you: finding ways to prioritise your wellbeing, set boundaries, and actually enjoy the season. So, grab a cup of tea (or your favourite festive treat), and let’s talk about how to make the holidays work for your mental health, not against it.

First, let’s get ourselves on the same page with some definitions and let’s talk about… 

What does self care over the holidays mean? 

Having self-care strategies for the holidays is all about being proactive and finding ways to manage your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing during this busy and often challenging period. It’s about approaching the season thoughtfully, recognising your limits, and ensuring you don’t lose sight of your own needs in the midst of everything else. Because let’s be honest — while this time of year can be full of joy and connection, it can also be challenging and overwhelming.

On a practical level, self-care strategies for the holidays are the tools and habits you use to keep yourself balanced when life feels chaotic or when you’re dealing with challenging situations, like spending time with people you might not get along with. They’re the choices you make to prioritise your wellbeing amidst the noise, whether that’s carving out some quiet time during a hectic family gathering, saying no to a fifth social event in one week, or reminding yourself that it’s perfectly OK to buy a gift card instead of spending hours trying to find the ‘perfect’ present. Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and facials (though, if that’s your thing, go for it!); it’s about setting boundaries, consciously and deliberately managing your time and energy, and staying connected to what really matters to you.

For example, if you know that Uncle Bruce tends to turn every family dinner into a heated debate about politics, your strategy might involve steering conversations towards neutral topics — or finding an excuse to check on the Christmas pudding whenever things get too intense. If you’re someone who feels pressure to attend every event you’re invited to, a self-care strategy might be politely declining some invitations so you can recharge at home. And during that wonderfully-disorienting ‘Twixmas’ period between Christmas Day and New Year’s, when you’re not entirely sure what day it is (let alone what time it is), self-care might look like embracing the downtime guilt-free instead of stressing about whether you’re being ‘productive.’

What these strategies feel like is a sense of relief and control. It’s knowing that you’ve got a plan in place to protect your energy and prioritise what’s truly meaningful to you. When you approach the holidays with clear self-care strategies, you’re not just going through the motions or reacting to whatever comes your way — you’re intentionally creating space for joy, connection, and peace.

From a mental health perspective, putting in place self-care strategies for the holidays is about safeguarding your emotional wellbeing. This time of year can stir up all sorts of feelings — excitement, nostalgia, stress, loneliness — and those feelings can sometimes feel heightened by the expectations placed on the holiday season. Whether you’re managing tricky family dynamics, grappling with financial pressures, or simply navigating the emotional weight of another year gone by, having a self-care plan means you’re actively taking steps to protect your mental wellbeing.

For example, if you find that certain traditions or gatherings trigger difficult emotions, self-care might involve giving yourself permission to skip them… or at least setting boundaries to make them more manageable (and sticking to them). If the holidays tend to bring up feelings of loneliness, your strategy might include planning catch-ups with friends or volunteering, so you feel more connected. And if you know you’re prone to overcommitting, self-care might look like identifying your non-negotiables — those moments that truly bring you joy — and letting go of the rest.

So, now let’s talk about…

Why taking care of yourself over the holidays matters

And it matters because nobody can or will do it for you; in fact, I’d say that most people have their own very specific idea of what the holidays are supposed to look and feel like, and they’re likely to expect other people in their life to adhere to their vision… so if you don’t proactively look after your needs, it’s likely that you’ll be swept into the vortex of having to meet someone else’s expectations.

The holidays are often painted as the ‘most wonderful time of the year,’ but in reality, they can be a bit of a mixed bag. Between family obligations, social commitments, financial pressures, and the ever-present feeling that you’re supposed to be enjoying every second of it, this season can quickly become overwhelming. That’s why proactively identifying self-care strategies isn’t just a nice idea — it’s absolutely essential. Planning ahead allows you to navigate the chaos with a sense of control, helping you stay grounded amidst all the noise and hullabaloo. When you’re intentional about how you approach this period, you’re not just surviving the holidays; you’re giving yourself the opportunity to thrive in a way that feels authentic to you. 

The key here is in the word ‘proactively.’ When you wait to think about self-care until you’re knee-deep in holiday stress, you’re more likely to react impulsively — like snapping at a loved one or cancelling plans you’d been looking forward to. But when you identify strategies in advance, you can approach challenges with a clearer head and make thoughtful decisions. For example, if you know that too much socialising drains your energy, then scheduling in downtime means you’re not running on empty by the time New Year’s Eve rolls around. Or, if you’ve struggled in the past with navigating family dynamics, deciding beforehand how you’ll handle difficult conversations gives you a sense of control and helps you feel prepared to face whatever may come your way. It’s a bit like having a map before setting out on a road trip: you might not know every bump in the road, but you’ll have a sense of where you’re headed and how to get there.

When it comes to your mental health, proactive self-care during the holidays can make a world of difference. This time of year often comes with heightened emotions, whether it’s the joy of reuniting with loved ones, or the lack of joy about feeling obligated to reunite with people you don’t necessarily get along with, or maybe even the sadness of missing someone who isn’t there. Add to that the pressure to meet expectations — both your own and others’ — and it’s no surprise that many people feel more emotionally vulnerable at this time of year. Without a plan in place, it’s easy to let stress or overwhelm take over, which can lead to anxiety, burnout, or even feelings of resentment. 

Proactively focusing on your self-care helps you create a buffer for your mental health. It means prioritising what you need to feel emotionally stable and giving yourself permission to step away from situations that compromise that stability. For example, setting clear boundaries, like limiting your time at a family event or saying no if you don’t feel comfortable, can reduce the mental strain that often accompanies the season.

Having strategies for the holidays means you’re likely to feel less stressed, more energised, and better equipped to handle whatever comes your way. Emotionally, you’ll find it easier to connect with the moments that truly matter — whether it’s sharing a laugh with a loved one, enjoying some well-earned quiet time, or reflecting on the year that’s been. And, mentally, you’ll be in a better position to manage challenges without letting them derail your overall wellbeing. The holidays may not always be perfect, but by taking charge of your self-care, you give yourself the best chance to make them meaningful and enjoyable.

So, how do you do that? Well, let’s first take a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…

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And welcome back! Now let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about… 

How to cope with the holidays

Alright, let’s go through some practical tips for getting through the holidays, regardless of what types of challenges you might be facing, beginning with… 

Start with a plan — this time of year can feel overwhelming if you’re diving into it without any clear idea of what’s ahead, so sit down with a calendar and map out your commitments. Look at what’s realistic for you in terms of time, energy, and financial resources, and don’t be afraid to say no to things that don’t align with your needs. This helps to give you a sense of control and it reduces the likelihood of feeling pulled in too many directions. As part of this, decide what’s most important to you — whether it’s spending time with loved ones, having quiet moments for yourself, or even simply staying on top of the practicalities — and give yourself permission to let go of anything that feels unnecessary. Next…

Set clear boundaries — because it’s your life, and you’re in control! Whether it’s limiting how long you’ll stay at a family gathering, or deciding in advance how much you’re willing to spend on gifts, setting boundaries protects your wellbeing because it prevents you from overcommitting or feeling resentful about doing too much. You can do this by being clear and kind when communicating your limits; saying something as simple, “I’d love to come, but I’ll need to leave by 8 pm,” sets expectations upfront without causing unnecessary friction (and no, you do not owe anyone an explanation!). OK, next…

Practice saying no — the holidays often involve a bombardment of invitations, requests, and expectations, and so learning to say no is a critical self-care strategy because overcommitting can leave you feeling stretched thin and resentful, while a thoughtful “no” allows you to prioritise your wellbeing. Be polite but firm: “Thank you so much for inviting me, but I’ve already made other plans.” Remember, every time you say no to something that doesn’t serve you, you’re saying yes to something that does: your peace of mind. Next…

Prioritise rest and time for yourself — so, resting and ‘you time’ often gets overlooked at this time of year, but ensuring you have enough downtime is one of the most effective ways to manage stress. Rest gives your mind and body the opportunity to recharge, making it easier to cope with the demands of the season. Schedule in time for breaks, whether it’s a quiet evening at home between social events or taking a nap after a busy morning of shopping and errands, and include time for solo activities that you enjoy (like reading, or origami street battles); just think of it as gifting yourself the energy you need to enjoy the holidays! Next…

Manage expectations — holiday stress can often stem from trying to meet unrealistic expectations, whether they’re self-imposed or coming from others. Managing expectations — both yours and those of the people around you — can ease that pressure, because it keeps you focused on what truly matters instead of chasing unattainable ideals. Let go of the idea that everything has to be perfect, and remind yourself (and others, if you need to) that it’s OK for plans to change or things to not go exactly as envisioned. Next…

Show yourself kindness — the holidays can stir up a mix of emotions, like joy, sadness, grief, nostalgia, disappointment, frustration… the list goes on, and it’s even harder if you’re dealing with the loss of someone or being disconnected from people you were once close with. Treat yourself with kindness if and when you’re struggling, and give yourself permission to feel those emotions… because bottling them up only leads to more stress. Acknowledge how you’re feeling without judgement and allow yourself to process those emotions. Whether it’s having a good cry, talking to a trusted friend, or journaling your thoughts, let yourself feel your feelings so that you can move through them. And know that it’s OK to step back from traditions or gatherings that feel overwhelming if you need to so that can focus on looking after your emotional wellbeing. Remember: you need to feel what you need to feel in order to heal, and that takes time. OK, next…

Practice gratitude — gratitude is a very powerful tool for keeping your mindset positive during the holidays, because it shifts your focus away from what’s stressful or missing and brings your attention to the things that bring joy and meaning to your life. Take a few minutes each day to reflect on what you’re thankful for, whether it’s having a warm home, spending time with loved ones, or simply enjoying a good cup of tea or coffee. Also, you’ll find that writing these things down can make the practice even more impactful. Next…

Stick to a routine (where possible) — the holidays can tend to throw your routine out the window, but maintaining some consistency is helpful for your mental health because routines create a sense of stability and predictability in a chaotic time. Stick to key habits, like waking up and going to bed at your usual time, eating regular meals, and keeping up with small daily rituals like taking a morning walk or having a journaling session. Even small elements of routine can help you feel grounded. OK, next..

Embrace simplicity — let’s face it: the pressure to do all the things during the holidays can lead to stress and burnout. Embracing simplicity helps because it allows you to focus on what truly matters without getting lost in unnecessary busyness. You can do this by scaling back on elaborate plans, opting for simple yet meaningful gifts, making cooking as easy as possible, and finding joy in low-key activities like a quiet evening with loved ones. Sometimes, less really is more. Next…

Limit overindulgence — the holidays are often a time of abundance, but too much of anything — whether it’s food, alcohol, or spending — can leave you feeling worse in the long run. Being mindful about what you consume keeps you from overloading yourself physically or financially. Set limits in advance, like deciding how many drinks you’ll enjoy at a party or creating a holiday budget and sticking to it. Remember, moderation allows you to enjoy the season without regret. OK, next…

Stay active — maintaining physical activity during the holidays is an excellent way to manage stress and boost your mood, because exercise releases endorphins (which are natural mood-lifters) and it gives you a healthy outlet for any tension. Find ways to move that fit into your holiday schedule, whether it’s going for a walk after a meal, having a dance in the kitchen while cooking, or even just stretching in the morning to start your day… and if you can get outside, do so because it’s a great way to clear your head. Next…

Be mindful of social media — look, I know I tend to bash social media a lot in this podcast and it does have its good points… but it can also be a cesspit of peer pressure, noisy opinions, and ‘keeping up with the Joneses’! Social media can add unnecessary pressure during the holidays, whether it’s through comparisons or the constant stream of updates. Being mindful of how much time you spend scrolling helps because it keeps you grounded in your own experiences instead of getting caught up in what everyone else is doing; just remember to actually live your life, rather than existing through your phone. Try setting limits on your social media use or even taking a break altogether, and focus on being fully present in your own life rather than worrying about how it looks online. OK, next…

Keep your expectations realistic — because the holidays don’t have to be ‘perfect’ to be meaningful. Be flexible, and choose to focus on the positives rather than the negative… and remember that life is what you make of it, so look for the small moments of joy and connection that make the season special. Next…

Create your own traditions — you don’t have to do what’s always been done; if certain holiday traditions don’t resonate with you then why not create your own? This allows you to craft experiences for yourself that align with your values and bring you genuine joy. Think about what makes you happy; maybe it’s a new tradition of watching your favourite film on Christmas Eve, taking a solo walk on New Year’s Day and setting intentions for the year ahead, or cooking a meal that’s meaningful to you. Remember: your holidays, your rules! OK, next…

Don’t spend time with people you don’t want to — I sort-of touched on this earlier, but I want to just come right out and say it very loudly and very clearly: you do not have to spend time with anyone you don’t want to, especially if it’s someone who makes you uncomfortable. If other people don’t like it, that’s their issue — not yours. Don’t let yourself be guilt-tripped into spending time stuck in a room with people you’d go out of your way to avoid at any other time of the year, especially if it’s going to be harmful to your mental health and wellbeing. Next…

Reach out for support if you need it — the important thing to remember is that you don’t have to navigate the holidays alone. There are people who care about you, whether it’s friends, family, or even professional help if you’re struggling. Be honest about how you’re feeling and let others know what you need — whether it’s a listening ear, practical assistance, or simply some company during quieter moments. Always remember that the more we talk about it, the easier it gets.

Final Tips and Next Time

Because when it comes to surviving the holidays and your mental health, what it all boils down to is this:

By approaching this season thoughtfully, and making your wellbeing a priority, you give yourself the gift of balance and peace of mind. It’s not about trying to make everything perfect, but about creating an approach that feels meaningful and manageable for you. Small, intentional steps can make a huge difference, helping you to navigate the season with grace and ease. So, as you move through the celebrations, take a moment to pause, breathe, and remind yourself that your needs matter too. This time of year can be full of joy and connection, but only if you give yourself the space to truly embrace it.

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:

“Choose to make the holidays about who and what really matters.”

Unknown

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week!

What are your self-care strategies for getting through the holidays? Leave me a comment and let’s talk! 

And support my show on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes and exclusive content; it’s linked in the episode description.

Next week I’ll be sharing the first of two special episodes, with the first one covering 25 mental health tips for 2025; that will be released on December the 29th (followed by another special episode the week after). Regular episodes will then resume on January 12, so I hope you enjoy the bonus episodes I’m sharing over the holiday period!

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world… because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com   

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Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2024 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.