It’s time for my weekly round-up of tips for better mental health! Each week I share a handful of things I’ve come across that I find interesting, intriguing and inspirational, plus I tell you about anything interesting that’s coming up on my weekly podcast, Let’s Talk About Mental Health, or just generally in terms of my work. So… let’s talk!
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Hello Talkers! 👋🗣😃
Have you ever found yourself stunned by the way someone behaves, and then taking a step back and realising that they’ve been acting that way for a long time but it’s only just now that you’ve reached your limit?
One of the Instagram posts I’m sharing this week is from Nedra Glover Tawwab, author and therapist, who posted, “Stop being shocked by people being themselves.” Aside from the fact that this popped into my feed no more than five minutes after having a conversation with my partner about a family member’s behaviour (I love how the universe works), it’s been a timely and simple-yet-powerful reminder to take a step back and look at all the times I have given a free pass to behaviours that just aren’t right.
I think when we care about someone, or when we feel an obligation to someone, we can inadvertently let a lot of stuff slide that, really, we just shouldn’t, because it can tend to lead to bigger issues and disappointments in the future.
Why do we do that?
We do it because we’re hard-wired to avoid conflict. Of course we are; conflict is uncomfortable and it goes against our social needs of wanting to get along with people so that we fit in and don’t rock the boat.
But sometimes that boat needs to be rocked, if only to ensure you’re not making life more difficult for yourself in the long run.
So here is one simple, actionable tip for you to try this week: If someone disappoints you, address it in a firm-but-fair way. It’s important to address issues when they happen, and preferably while they’re small, instead of making excuses or giving people free pass after free pass. The short-term pain of a tough conversation will lead to a lot of long-term gain.
Remember, you deserve to have healthy relationships in your life and you don’t have to put up with unhealthy ones.
Until our next talk, have a fantastic week!
Jeremy 😃
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Thanks for reading and have a fantastic week. Talk to you next time! JG 🙂
Did you read this from a link or have it forwarded to you? Join my mailing list to have it sent to your inbox each Thursday, along with the new episode of Let’s Talk About Mental Health every Sunday.
© 2023 Jeremy Godwin
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If you choose not to address bad behavior, you will be holding in hurt that will cause you to over think and think and think and think some more….going over and over in your head how they acted and what you SHOULD have said at the time. This can only fester, and if you don’t do something to get it off of your chest…. I do believe that your head could possibly explode. Nip it in the bud. ( Barney Fife )
Nip it in the bud indeed! I’m a firm believer in aiming to tackle issues early before they grow into problems 🙂